5 Bars
Due within 30 minutes of checking.
House Rules
Vote by cat or bar-by-bar


those were the rules u made

check

http://www.rapworlds.com/forums/showthread.php?t=109081
http://www.rapworlds.com/forums/showthread.php?p=1416354

i think i'm going to do seven bars...you can match that...

i gotta vote and what not, but i'm keying right after that..
check.

http://www.rapworlds.com/forums/showthread.php?t=109718
http://www.rapworlds.com/forums/showthread.php?p=1416979#post1416979



I know it's not simple.
but deff should write some shit that's NOT simple.
or else his 'sick' punches will stay next to him in the hospital,
i GOT this one, one loss, not A win...myspace...eight friends
they're eight men that like gays and accepted deff when he ate them.
i hate kids....his verse is a whore, its fucking for nothing,
its worse than before, get the fucking picture like searching for porn
this just to be ugly...its burning this bore, just take THIS deff
some shit i ain't get 'vet': how do you swallow so much but ain't shit yet?
you taste dick, stressed, get this jerk OFF, say a prayer for his arms
i can't say anything personal about you, cause nobody cares who you are.
i DARE YOU to start...You're a PUSSY nigga, just dare me to starve
you're a fairy at large, i wouldn't stare at your bars IN PRISON ...YOU stared at the guards!
i'll bury this mark...body his kids....then i just shot his neighbors
You're Nobody's bitch...but i wrote this shit on your adoption papers.

oops sorry forgot about the 30 minute thing ill have mine up within 5

Once again its a-deafening pitch (deff-in-to-pitch), designed to reach parts of your mind you cant itch
if "schtiks" rhymes are designed to take up your time, then my rhymes are designed to find space in your mind, which-


through the use of well designed lines are intended to define "esoteric", thats a higher knowledge of things
a knowledge rarely even grasped by the kings of kings, almost prophetic, i've prophosized your demise

People avoid your attempts, like running from feds, the only time your listened to is when your bumping to the dead
jumping straight to the losers section, the only reason hes called "pogo" is cos he cant maintain an erection

dare you to starve? please what are you "Pogo-Marvin" you couldnt cook yourself some rhymes even if you were starvin
yours is a pathetic attempt, cos deff is exempt, get on your knees and repent,i got my lines tighter than the 5-on-a-cent


my verses are designed to leave fakers in hearses, cos i wont take no "schtiK" like "Mel Brooks" in "Life Stinks"
with flow so breezy i make walking on water look easy, your as scared as your name, jumping to avoid the "rap-game"


This kids pathetic, dead-set-his rhymes are so painful Im gonna need anaesthetic, now wouldnt that be poetic-
justice, to define HIM in one word would be just-this: fake, i mean for gods sake he couldnt find a beat like "Bing Crosby" in "The Island" ..prophetic defeat



1. Starvin-Marvin - a starving african boy on South Park
2. Mel Brooks - Jewish Actor who stated in a movie he produced called "Life Stinks" that he "wouldnt take no schtik"
3. Bing Crosby is a notorious child abuser and he wouldnt be able to find any kids to beat if he was in the movie the island because everyone is an adult.

p.s sorry this was a bit late didnt notice you check

uppn for votes

upppn

upppppn x3

uppn x4

punches-blah
personals-deff
structure-pogo
personals-ehh
entertainment-ehh
metas-ehh
flow--pogo
vocab-ehh

gots to give this to deff on the account of the name flippage

^are you serious?

wow.

0-1 in deff's favor.

up it goes

comeonnn 1-0 need 2 more votes :)

I'd vote in your battles..

ah comeon people vote

ok, heres the problem you both are having..cuz ya'll need to step up the skills. deff i thought you were crap before but you have a style...it sounds kinda like Company Flow a bit or Poor Righteous Teachers a bit. That's cool, but if still hearing "a little too much" of your character..than to me it's sounds like you're not fully adjusted to battle witts yet..so i'd avise you to keep writing battle rhymes as well as keystyle battles online. pogo..you need to work on delivery and find a flow: your last battle sounded exactly like Royce 59s style, and then changed up here..you need to freestyle more and keep writing too; find some kinda delivery you like then stick with it. Next problem: you both over play the multi-game too much:

i GOT this one, one loss, not A win...myspace...eight friends
they're eight men that like gays and accepted deff when he ate them.
^the problem with that...is that when it's heard, it's OBVIOUS you were just rhyming words together...so your focus on an actual diss/target was lost. Rhyming word for word is great for freestyle but most of the time, has less depth and "holds no content"; that's why alotta people with Jumpoff tv battles lose so much cuz you need both.

i'll bury this mark...body his kids....then i just shot his neighbors
You're Nobody's bitch...but i wrote this shit on your adoption papers.
^this was your cleanest hit pogo. Alotta of the other stuff doesn't connect well or they were old n' played out. if you have a battle for 5 bars? don't play that "jumpoff tv/smack battle" constant rhyming multi shit..cuz your times shorter here, and that takes you longer to get to a direct punch. you need to hit with a punch the end of each bar or every line as much as possible to get in and get out.


my verses are designed to leave fakers in hearses, cos i wont take no "schtiK" like "Mel Brooks" in "Life Stinks"
with flow so breezy i make walking on water look easy, your as scared as your name, jumping to avoid the "rap-game"


This kids pathetic, dead-set-his rhymes are so painful Im gonna need anaesthetic, now wouldnt that be poetic-
justice, to define HIM in one word would be just-this: fake, i mean for gods sake he couldnt find a beat like "Bing Crosby" in "The Island" ..prophetic defeat
^iight, these lines were ok..far as they're delivery/similies/punches..it just shows your thinking, they're not incredibly dope but they're punches. But your still kinda basing your thoughts around throwing out multis and make them match up again (This kids pathetic....dead-set-his....so painful Im gonna need anaesthetic....now wouldnt that be poetic-) you both need to break outta that shit cuz it's nursery.


i think deff won this, he made more sense..tried harder at he meta/similies..and actually executed more punches so it's an easy vote. The Bing Crosby thing was mildly funny...and the Mel Brooks thing was probably your best becuz i'm an 80's fan and i saw that movie. Next time, balance better..see what works for you: if you find it harder to think of punches, make your first line lead and set a pace..if you don't, make sure the strongest part of your punch is at the end of the bar where most people are listening to.

Vote=deff.

alright man thanks for the feedback i think i need to take a little more time to write mine cos I usually do it within about 30 minutes *rep*
2-0 uppn

oh, so practice not thinking much..blindly keystyle when you're not battling anybody.

?? Dont understand what you mean

I really wasn't feeling either of 'em, but I guess I gotta give it to Deff on account of he seemed to pay more attention to some kind of multi system, and had maybe...one funny line.

Honestly though, keep practicing. The lack of funny/hard hitting punches made this a blah battle.

yeah i've got that impression haha I gotta spend more time on these, thanks for the vote

Deff:3
-
Pogo Schtick: 0

Close this someone :)

close this :)

Gen can you close this?