10 bars(wow)

10 bars due in 24 hours house rules


check.

checking in

Homie time is pleasure''and your time is never''
your book full of blank pages ''castaway rhymes balled up like a crack shelter'
It don't get better''this your first and last battle like a aid's pantice
light the candles for this spy''
cause your rhyme book in the sky''and your voice cord piledrive''
24 hours to long for ten bars I cruise with my shortie''while you use the bus card''
get it right you fragile'' so funny how you brake and scandle
like a glass ball with butter fingers that can't handle''
wecome to this site dow''you ass nigga with a name like that you make yourself look funny
Mr.?..who...stop it you ain't spit a line yet but if I lose any more interest in you I'll owe money..
enterainer,feony,now we got a rapper,that stay strap for a fag hacker
brake your insides with punchlines.when you look in the mirror it's a mad rapper''
almost done dude if you answer back only dickriders can make me lose...Chump..

Homie time is pleasure''and your time is never''
your book full of blank pages ''castaway rhymes balled up like a crack shelter'
It don't get better''this your first and last battle like a aid's pantice
light the candles for this spy''
cause your rhyme book in the sky''and your voice cord piledrive''
24 hours to long for ten bars I cruise with my shortie''while you use the bus card''
get it right you fragile'' so funny how you brake and scandle
like a glass ball with butter fingers that can't handle''
welcome to this site dow''you ass nigga with a name like that you make yourself look funny
Mr.?..who...stop it you ain't spit a line yet but if I lose any more interest in you I'll owe money..
enterainer,feony,now we got a rapper,that stay strap for a fag hacker
brake your insides with punchlines.when you look in the mirror it's a mad rapper''
almost done dude if you answer back only dickriders can make me lose...Chump..
Holla at me

10 bars = 20 lines



Homie I live the life of pacifist
never acted pissed, but If haveta snap a fist
it'll melt face like some acid hit
fuck ya placid spits, and ya bag of writs
I'll tag ya tits, and cut ya in half like a magic trick
my bag of tricks, could jack and twist ya to ya casket bitch
somebody give this fag a dress , I'll attack ya chest
with the math I flex, checkin more numbers than a mac address
supree you a fag at best,
like the pledge of allegiance I make ya grab ya chest
breath slow or get ya package red, I'll attack his head
then fill my pockets up like I cashed a check
and you don pass tha test, your an embarrisment to the game
you wouldnt bomb tracks if you where a terrorist on a train
but bitch, im sick as shit, I'll kiss ya lips, make ya slit cha wrists
then laugh about it as I twist my tits
but I want a pile a trees, so I can smile at ease
smoke a pound a weed, and replant the mowy wowy seeds
so coward please, I'll put this shell on you, like a lobsters ananamy
this bitch is about as real as a foster family

http://rapworlds.com/forums/showthread.php?t=110547
http://rapworlds.com/forums/showthread.php?t=108669

supree need links

Supree

Homie time is pleasure''and your time is never''
your book full of blank pages ''castaway rhymes balled up like a crack shelter'
nah
It don't get better''this your first and last battle like a aid's pantice
light the candles for this spy''
cause your rhyme book in the sky''and your voice cord piledrive''
wtf does that mean
24 hours to long for ten bars I cruise with my shortie''while you use the bus card''
get it right you fragile'' so funny how you brake and scandle
like a glass ball with butter fingers that can't handle''
nahh
wecome to this site dow''you ass nigga with a name like that you make yourself look funny
Mr.?..who...stop it you ain't spit a line yet but if I lose any more interest in you I'll owe money..
i get what ur trying but itdidnt work..bad setup
enterainer,feony,now we got a rapper,that stay strap for a fag hacker
brake your insides with punchlines.when you look in the mirror it's a mad rapper''
nahh
almost done dude if you answer back only dickriders can make me lose...Chump..

every attemp at a punch had a bad setup...it looks like ur making up words to help ur punches...but their not really punches at all
u had sumtin with that interest line but it was worded badly
and ended up not making sense at all


Mr Brock


Homie I live the life of pacifist
never acted pissed, but If haveta snap a fist
ok
it'll melt face like some acid hit
fuck ya placid spits, and ya bag of writs
I'll tag ya tits, and cut ya in half like a magic trick
my bag of tricks, could jack and twist ya to ya casket bitch
nice metis
somebody give this fag a dress , I'll attack ya chest
with the math I flex, checkin more numbers than a mac address
nice
supree you a fag at best,
like the pledge of allegiance I make ya grab ya chest
ight
breath slow or get ya package red, I'll attack his head
then fill my pockets up like I cashed a check
ok
and you don pass tha test, your an embarrisment to the game
you wouldnt bomb tracks if you where a terrorist on a train
nice
but bitch, im sick as shit, I'll kiss ya lips, make ya slit cha wrists
then laugh about it as I twist my tits
lol some crazy shit
but I want a pile a trees, so I can smile at ease
smoke a pound a weed, and replant the mowy wowy seeds
filller
so coward please, I'll put this shell on you, like a lobsters ananamy
this bitch is about as real as a foster family
lol nice

laid back verse...i like the style...but an obvious win
i dont what supree was trying..it didnt work out
Mr Brock easily dominated and gets my vote

Vote Mr Brock

Punches- Mr. Brock
Multies- Mr. Brock
Metaphors- Mr. Brock
Personals- none
Wordplay- Mr. Brock
Complexity- Mr. Brock
Creativity- Mr. Brock


Overall - Mr. Brock

Vote - Mr. Brock

Supree, maybe I am a fucking idiot, but I honestly didn't understand any of your punches.

^^ I just realized I wrote "Mr. Brock" instead of Mr. Book. I was reading the title and it fucked me up.

Homie time is pleasure''and your time is never''
your book full of blank pages ''castaway rhymes balled up like a crack shelter'
You were setting yourself up nicely, but killed it with the second line.
It don't get better''this your first and last battle like a aid's pantice
light the candles for this spy''
cause your rhyme book in the sky''and your voice cord piledrive''
24 hours to long for ten bars I cruise with my shortie''while you use the bus card''
:confused: Work on your execution. Whatever you were trying to say, it could've been alot better and clearer if executed right.
get it right you fragile'' so funny how you brake and scandle
like a glass ball with butter fingers that can't handle''
Nope
wecome to this site dow''you ass nigga with a name like that you make yourself look funny
Mr.?..who...stop it you ain't spit a line yet but if I lose any more interest in you I'll owe money..
Almost there with that second line
enterainer,feony,now we got a rapper,that stay strap for a fag hacker
brake your insides with punchlines.when you look in the mirror it's a mad rapper''
almost done dude if you answer back only dickriders can make me lose...Chump..
Guess I'm a dickrider...


Overall, you were off in every department. Punctuation and flow all over the place, plus the spelling and grammar mistakes made it incoherent. There is potential however, you just gotta think alot harder on how to lay your verse out. Good shit and better luck next time.


Homie I live the life of pacifist
never acted pissed, but If haveta snap a fist
Flow is slightly off; could've started better
it'll melt face like some acid hit
fuck ya placid spits, and ya bag of writs
Not bad, you're gaining momentum
I'll tag ya tits, and cut ya in half like a magic trick
my bag of tricks, could jack and twist ya to ya casket bitch
Again, not bad. Flow is picking up nicely
somebody give this fag a dress , I'll attack ya chest
with the math I flex, checkin more numbers than a mac address
supree you a fag at best,
like the pledge of allegiance I make ya grab ya chest
Getting better, nice to see an attempt at multi's
breath slow or get ya package red, I'll attack his head
then fill my pockets up like I cashed a check
Head and check don't rhyme, seems like an attempted half-rhyme
and you don pass tha test, your an embarrisment to the game
you wouldnt bomb tracks if you where a terrorist on a train
Weak bar, sorry
but bitch, im sick as shit, I'll kiss ya lips, make ya slit cha wrists
then laugh about it as I twist my tits
You dissed yourself more than you did him...
but I want a pile a trees, so I can smile at ease
smoke a pound a weed, and replant the mowy wowy seeds
Nah, no punch here
so coward please, I'll put this shell on you, like a lobsters ananamy
this bitch is about as real as a foster family
Okay ender

Overall, your lines seemed too similar; too much imagery of attacking his body parts (hit your head, your chest, slit your wrists etc). Punches were weak, nothing hit hard. Flow was okay, just needs more work.

My Vote= Mr. Book

Outclassed Supree in every category, though Supree attempted more creativity. Nice battle, hope you guys do better in the future. Peace.

Punches: Mr Book
Personals: Mr Book
Wordplay: Book
Metaphors:
Multies:
Flow: Book
Overall vote: Mr Book

Book i think took this one, a little one sided in my opinion, he gets my vote.

Flow/Structure- MB
Punches-tie...nuffin really great from either
Personals-Supree...jus for makin attempts
Multis-MB
Metas-MB
Vocab/W.P.-tie
Creativity- None...this really lacked from both
Enjoy- MB...(Easier Read)
----
Vote- MB

this wasnt that great...MB had alot of metas but really no punches...u need to work on ur wording..cause u can deliver a meta as a punch...u jus need 2 set it up right n land it effective...And Supree was aight...but the flow n structure kinda threw me off...n the punch "attempts" were forced n generic..Respect to both...Keep Elevating
so my vote is for Mr. Book

EDIT: Readin this battle again...it was pretty poor, dude said he'd kiss ur lips...and im still not changin my vote...so wuts that say about the other guy?...No hate, but yall need 2 keep battling...read up on some others work n keep elevating....cause this wasnt very good