I'll match your bars...

For sure. Checking in.

I have never battled before, so go easy on me.

Here are my links:
http://www.rapworlds.com/forums/showthread.php?t=111086
http://www.rapworlds.com/forums/showthread.php?t=110994This dude should just quit, I connect with writs and disrupt consciousness, like injecting acid hits.
Mind-melting violent shit, this verse murders like PCP overdose patients engaged in perpetual stabbing fits.

Dude's not down with this, I disprove his God and Nothing theory, like I was a physicist.
DivineTragedy doesn't exist, except as a prototypical concept in the mind of his arch nemesis.

Like blunts and joints, im constantly rollin' this herb.
If I wrote my lines on the sidewalk, this dude would bite the curb.

Divine's got a tragic complex, like child molesting priests engaged in a mass Catholic exodus.
Shit's ridiculous, dude thinks he comes sick, just because he's a mother fucker like Oedipus!

Shit man I had the verse complete but my Sidekick fell and turned off...

Anyway check...

It's all good. Take your time. I'd rather have a fair battle, then a DQ.

sdddddddd

Aiight an Abstract Script..

I'll put the shotty to your body and leave it leaking worse than the Iraqi Navy
cause your punches are hard to see like fights at night during blackouts in Haiti
I didnt make the deadline so you can say your the last I've BEATEN LATELY
Abstract react combat with no aim like murderers who dont use their Right Hand he'll
get LEFT SLAIN
kids lacking game so I'm at my Playstation wit your EXbox bout to put on a HALO(condom)
after I put the metal to your face something like Kano(Mortal Combat)
the closest you get to having your own tracks is playing Monopoly and buying READING RAILROAD...



Mods give me a minute for links please...

votes plz

This dude should just quit, I connect with writs and disrupt consciousness, like injecting acid hits.
Mind-melting violent shit, this verse murders like PCP overdose patients engaged in perpetual stabbing fits.
Nice meta's and wordplay in the opener

Dude's not down with this, I disprove his God and Nothing theory, like I was a physicist.
DivineTragedy doesn't exist, except as a prototypical concept in the mind of his arch nemesis.
Average (not saying its bad)

Like blunts and joints, im constantly rollin' this herb.
If I wrote my lines on the sidewalk, this dude would bite the curb.
Like the "bite the curb" took the battle towards you

Divine's got a tragic complex, like child molesting priests engaged in a mass Catholic exodus.
Shit's ridiculous, dude thinks he comes sick, just because he's a mother fucker like Oedipus!
Good punch/kinda personal

I'll put the shotty to your body and leave it leaking worse than the Iraqi Navy
cause your punches are hard to see like fights at night during blackouts in Haiti
Good opener

I didnt make the deadline so you can say your the last I've BEATEN LATELY
Abstract react combat with no aim like murderers who dont use their Right Hand he'll
get LEFT SLAIN
This bar kinda let you down, judging by the first i think you could've come stronger

kids lacking game so I'm at my Playstation wit your EXbox bout to put on a HALO(condom)
after I put the metal to your face something like Kano(Mortal Combat)
the closest you get to having your own tracks is playing Monopoly and buying READING RAILROAD...
Average (not saying its bad)


Punches = Neither
W/P = Abstrakt barely
Flow = Abstrakt
Personal's = Didnt see any that stood out
Meta's = DT
O/A = Close but Abstrakt took this for me, good battle tho

Peace...

huh...lol
aiight


0-1 Abstract

This dude should just quit, I connect with writs and disrupt consciousness, like injecting acid hits.
Mind-melting violent shit, this verse murders like PCP overdose patients engaged in perpetual stabbing fits.
GOOD MULTIS, good metas, weak punch


Dude's not down with this, I disprove his God and Nothing theory, like I was a physicist.
DivineTragedy doesn't exist, except as a prototypical concept in the mind of his arch nemesis.
liked it

Like blunts and joints, im constantly rollin' this herb.
If I wrote my lines on the sidewalk, this dude would bite the curb.
sick meta

Divine's got a tragic complex, like child molesting priests engaged in a mass Catholic exodus.
Shit's ridiculous, dude thinks he comes sick, just because he's a mother fucker like Oedipus!
decent

I'll put the shotty to your body and leave it leaking worse than the Iraqi Navy
cause your punches are hard to see like fights at night during blackouts in Haiti
ehh decent

I didnt make the deadline so you can say your the last I've BEATEN LATELY
Abstract react combat with no aim like murderers who dont use their Right Hand he'll
get LEFT SLAIN
weak man

kids lacking game so I'm at my Playstation wit your EXbox bout to put on a HALO(condom)
after I put the metal to your face something like Kano(Mortal Combat)
the closest you get to having your own tracks is playing Monopoly and buying READING RAILROAD...
last line was nice, but the videogame metas and shit were forced.


--------

punches-tied
personals-tied
metas-ab
wordplay-ab
nameplay-neither
flow-ab

vote-abstract

----------------

Abstract came with a solid verse, the multis/vocab/metaphors were fire, but he did lack punches in few of his bars. Keep your 'abstract' style, but start aiming up with some personals and direct punches as well and you'll be really good.

DT- I felt your verse was weak. Recently i've been reading/voting on a lot of your battles and ive noticed a huge flaw in your rhyme scheme, you will rhyme a bar than throw in 1 extra line to fit in with the structure, this throws me off big time, end your bars where they should end, dont drag them on.


I'll put the shotty to your body and leave it leaking worse than the Iraqi Navy
cause your punches are hard to see like fights at night during blackouts in Haiti
I didnt make the deadline so you can say your the last I've BEATEN LATELY
Abstract react combat with no aim like murderers who dont use their Right Hand he'll
get LEFT SLAIN


i bolded what should have been the end of the bar, but than you added the extra line, which didn't rhyme with it's following line. haiti/lately rhymes, but lately doesn't rhyme with left slain, it gets confusing, you have like 3 lines per a bar rather than two, fix your structure and you' be a lot better. also every battle i read you have one stand out line that impresses me, but the rest of the verse lacks that fire, take your time to brush up your strucuture and come consistant man.

i spent a lot of time with this vote/feedback so hopefully you just dont brush it off and you take it to mind fam.

pz

lol yall niccahs silly...

whatever homie

Flow-DT...had a poetry thing 2 it...structure wasnt great but a couple reads n it works...while abs was good...since u went so complicated it made his basic
Punches-DT
Personals-neither
Multis-Ab
Metas-DT
Vocab/W.P- tie
Creativity- tie...
Enjoy- DT
-----
Vote-DT

yall both kinda had like verses for a topical or something...but DT worked a few punches in...structure wasnt great...but it did have punches...Ab made attempts but they were like forced...And i aint d/r either if u want bar for bar ill do that 2

@ DT


And that's why you'll keep losing because you wont take constructive criticism (http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&rlz=1T4ADBF_enUS242US242&sa=X&oi=spell&resnum=0&ct=result&cd=1&q=criticism&spell=1) .

whatever that's your decision for whatever reason you feel your to good to listen to what others have to say when they try to help you, i can see what piph was talking about now.

2-1 abs favor

pz

Favorite line from Abstract-

--Like blunts and joints, im constantly rollin' this herb.
If I wrote my lines on the sidewalk, this dude would bite the curb.

Favorite lines from DT-

--Abstract react combat with no aim like murderers who dont use their Right Hand he'll
get LEFT SLAIN
--after I put the metal to your face something like Kano(Mortal Combat)

I'm not much sure about DT's rep for being a poor sport and his inability to take criticism so I'm not judging my vote off that as no one should. I mean, if you're good, you're good, despite personality flaws. Personally, I felt DT's punches were more complex. Abstract was good, but I didn't feel he really had punches. IMO, he came with metas and wordplay strickly and I felt only his last line actually was a punch. A punch to me is something that hits hard, makes you sit back and say damn, that was hot and I didn't really say that with Abstract. It was more, aight, I'm feeling this, it's rhyming, the structure is there, and the wordplay is working.

With DT, I felt he came swinging with jabs. Did his rhyme and flow with metas like Abstract's? No, but I felt his complexity with the left slain, leaking worse than iraqi navy, and especially felt that metal to ya face like kano. That was sick. I have noticed something with DT though as in, I feel he's almost under-appreciated? I see his battles, and he always comes correct, but it seems people almost automatically vote against him when I believe he was clearly the winner. Like I said though, I dunno much about his attitude towards losing or if he rubbed anyone the wrong way because I'm just a newbie, but yea, DT took this one with all respect to Abstract's credible verse.

vote- DT

This dude should just quit, I connect with writs and disrupt consciousness, like injecting acid hits.
Mind-melting violent shit, this verse murders like PCP overdose patients engaged in perpetual stabbing fits.
^either your punches are way overdone...

Dude's not down with this, I disprove his God and Nothing theory, like I was a physicist.
DivineTragedy doesn't exist, except as a prototypical concept in the mind of his arch nemesis.
^...or you're complicating the thoughts too much = WACK.

Divine's got a tragic complex, like child molesting priests engaged in a mass Catholic exodus.
Shit's ridiculous, dude thinks he comes sick, just because he's a mother fucker like Oedipus!
^and to me none of these really connect. btw Oedipus complex is a theory, not a person(noun)...way you say sounds stupid. comes/cuums sick is a very weak set up.

V.S.

I'll put the shotty to your body and leave it leaking worse than the Iraqi Navy
cause your punches are hard to see like fights at night during blackouts in Haiti
^..pretty good, I wonder where this came from..

I didnt make the deadline so you can say your the last I've BEATEN LATELY
Abstract react combat with no aim like murderers who dont use their Right Hand he'll
get LEFT SLAIN
^...lefty lines are a little old, but i like the delivery on the whole bit.

kids lacking game so I'm at my Playstation wit your EXbox bout to put on a HALO(condom)
^i mean i'm a little sour on this...i've kinda used similar ones already, so has people like DigitILL, Kataracks, eventhough their old school RW now.

after I put the metal to your face something like Kano(Mortal Combat)
the closest you get to having your own tracks is playing Monopoly and buying READING RAILROAD...
^..i remember those. ok finish.

I see tragedy stepping up his metaphor game a bit here and there so that's good. Try not to think tho', just keystyle or freestyle it out until you get refreshed with something new...metaphors don't come from thinking about 'em, they come from subconsious shit you know or experienced.

I'm going with Divine on this one.

^and to me none of these really connect. btw Oedipus complex is a theory, not a person(noun)...way you say sounds stupid. comes/cuums sick is a very weak set up.


Oedipus was a mythical dude. He killed his father, so he could marry his mother. That is where Freud derived the theory of the Oedipus Complex from.

For sure, though, I appreciate everyone's criticism, I will try to develop some better punches. This was the first battle I've ever done.

3-2 DivineTragedy.

^^^waaaay better that my first battle

*props*

punches=ab
wordplay=ss
personals-= n/a
flow: ss
overall-SS edged it imo.

4-2 ss

this battle aint done yet?
first to 5?

To Hans Solo:
Just giving some insight, Oedipus was a person in Greek mythoogy. The Oedipus complex, is named after him. The story happens so that he does not know it is mother who he has fallen in love with and when he does he pokes out his eyes.

Divine Tragedy:
I'll put the shotty to your body and leave it leaking worse than the Iraqi Navy
cause your punches are hard to see like fights at night during blackouts in Haiti

-Alright metas, flow could be better.

I didnt make the deadline so you can say your the last I've BEATEN LATELY
Abstract react combat with no aim like murderers who dont use their Right Hand he'll
get LEFT SLAIN

-Nice wordplay, but the flow is off

kids lacking game so I'm at my Playstation wit your EXbox bout to put on a HALO(condom)
after I put the metal to your face something like Kano(Mortal Combat)

-Once again alright worldplay, not that great.

the closest you get to having your own tracks is playing Monopoly and buying READING RAILROAD...

-Not a full bar, it was alright

Abstract:
This dude should just quit, I connect with writs and disrupt consciousness, like injecting acid hits.
Mind-melting violent shit, this verse murders like PCP overdose patients engaged in perpetual stabbing fits.


-Nice metas, really like the wordplay

Dude's not down with this, I disprove his God and Nothing theory, like I was a physicist.
DivineTragedy doesn't exist, except as a prototypical concept in the mind of his arch nemesis.


-Alright, not that hard hitting

Like blunts and joints, im constantly rollin' this herb.
If I wrote my lines on the sidewalk, this dude would bite the curb.

-Good flow, solid bar

Divine's got a tragic complex, like child molesting priests engaged in a mass Catholic exodus.
Shit's ridiculous, dude thinks he comes sick, just because he's a mother fucker like Oedipus!

-I thought this was the best bar of the battle. Really nice metas, complexity was there and the whole bar really worked together.

The battle was pretty even, but the flow of DT seemed a little off, and the wordplay and complexity of Abstract decided it for me.

Vote- Abstract

DT I think got this, more consistant with his verse, better punches and nicer personals.

Both did a good job but my vote goes to ShatterStars (DT)

4-3 SS

ice's dont count, not broken down

^^^Hmmm...
but I never asked for house rules Mr.Griffin

Abstract:
This dude should just quit, I connect with writs and disrupt consciousness, like injecting acid hits.
Mind-melting violent shit, this verse murders like PCP overdose patients engaged in perpetual stabbing fits.
Quite decent and hard hitting. I like the punch and flowed well.

Dude's not down with this, I disprove his God and Nothing theory, like I was a physicist.
DivineTragedy doesn't exist, except as a prototypical concept in the mind of his arch nemesis.
Nah, didn't work IMO, weak bar.

Like blunts and joints, im constantly rollin' this herb.
If I wrote my lines on the sidewalk, this dude would bite the curb.
Meh weak again.

Divine's got a tragic complex, like child molesting priests engaged in a mass Catholic exodus.
Shit's ridiculous, dude thinks he comes sick, just because he's a mother fucker like Oedipus!
This was better but still meh, your flow was good but no clear punch or anything.

ShatterStarz:
I'll put the shotty to your body and leave it leaking worse than the Iraqi Navy
cause your punches are hard to see like fights at night during blackouts in Haiti
I didnt make the deadline so you can say your the last I've BEATEN LATELY
That was nice, decent opener.

Abstract react combat with no aim like murderers who dont use their Right Hand he'll
get LEFT SLAIN
kids lacking game so I'm at my Playstation wit your EXbox bout to put on a HALO(condom)
after I put the metal to your face something like Kano(Mortal Combat)
the closest you get to having your own tracks is playing Monopoly and buying READING RAILROAD...
Meh abit stretch but the punches and personals were there, flow dropped off but decent non the less.

Like I explained before, ShatterStarz gets my vote.

^^^thanks Or The Breakdown...
Shit Almost Got Scary, Bout To Lose To A Battling Virgin Lol

Madd Potential Abstract Good Ish Fam..