Topical - 20 Lines
Topic..to be decided
Due Date...to be decided

thanks so much deff that was definately cool
this is my check

check.

Skream, I'm going to be hella busy the next few days...i'm just going to key something up real quick, cool?

The 12 hour lease on light diminishes and finishes its flight
Sinister fright begins with the livid pinnacle of the night
Cynical types come creeping, sleeping in a miasma of malevolence
Seeking the flesh of innocence, prowling to the malice of wickedness
Black surrounds the aura transformed by a blanket of darkness
Mistaken for a star’s death, shaken and forsaken by harm’s depth
The world naked at arms length, the vehemence of evil can be felt
Releasing the demons of stealth, misleading the belief of something else
Silent screams of help, violent dreams become a nightmare
Succumbing to the night’s air, breathing, wondering if lungs might tear
Sunshine fares in a distance not sharing the existence of gloom
The beginning of doom is permissive in a world full of submissive ghouls
Rules do not apply to shadows lying waiting for the next victim
Incarcerating witnesses, replacing images with a hexed vision
A scent drifts in, the smell of death makes for a imminent exit
Subliminal excellence is executed with criminals tested
Minimal electives to choose from as the night continues to cultivate
Refusing the skulking stakes, abusing the push and pull from saints
A dull break in the chair as despair dethrones the light
Forgoes the psych, only the prepared dare to declare they own the night.

What was the due date for this?

shit my bad the due date is friday but i really ain't even started thinkin about this yet. not up to it today but i'll definately get on it tomorrow should have more than a couple of minutes to spare. im not on your level.

shit my bad the due date is friday but i really ain't even started thinkin about this yet. not up to it today but i'll definately get on it tomorrow should have more than a couple of minutes to spare. im not on your level.

^No worries, drop when you can homie.

shit.... i got murked by that 20 limit its all good tho


oh yeah and the topic was 'we own the night'

We roam and wreck havoc cuz we own the night
longin for a delight of bringing buried bones to life
tonight’s victim is a toddler named Tony Wright
in a few seconds he’ll be all alone in fright
our job is to recreate different tones and sights
depicting horrid scenes like being stoned to life (afterlife)
but we’ll start off light in this new case with tony
yet still produce a scream and make his face turn rosy
now he sees a room wit a fireplace that’s cozy
and he stands there watching as the air gets toasty
when fierce flames start growing onto the walls
tony yells and bawls but no one answers his call
like dancers he falls to the ground, dazed by the smoke
he wakes up and chokes cuz toxins have grazed his throat
wit all his strength he finds and pulls open the wide door
only to find for him in store is more fiery galore
then he hears his mother’s voice, no more fire in sight
the fiery galore he saw was just a shiny light
yes he has escaped but only wit the aid of dawn
when night falls we shall return, invade, and haunt

http://www.rapworlds.com/forums/showthread.php?p=1441394#post1441394
http://www.rapworlds.com/forums/showthread.php?p=1441388#post1441388

Skream, get your linx up so we can get this going...

im dont going to break this dwn by bar bar ,.but i think that skream
got this because she hade more creative verse....

but both came vary srtong ...every one was on topic...

vary good battle but i got o give it to skream


vote..skrem

big ups to both

dope stuff peeps..

nice verse skream

i will not vote due to some other shit

http://www.rapworlds.com/forums/showthread.php?t=111277
http://www.rapworlds.com/forums/showthread.php?p=1441982#post1441982

my bad for being late i thought i posted these already

Let's get some votes. Please break down the voting so the writers can elevate. Thx.

uppin for votes

jae took the creativity, complexity, imagery cats
Skream has a smooth flow, but as far as story, depth, and detail go jaekae had him the whole way.

I'm not much of a topical vote, but i read both verses and that's how i felt.

vote up yo

None of the votes so far counted.
Read the guidelines I've edited in on the first page.

Jaekae - Great vocab, the piece was a little too abstract at times though, imagery wasn't that good, wording was nice though. Flow and multies were dope, they were off at times though. The limited line length hurt your verse here, as I felt it was missing something.

Skream - You told a better story, but, you did so in a simpler way. Your flow was simpler & your multies not a prevalent. Saying that, your imagery was much better than JaeKaes, I just felt like your drop was too simple at times, & it was a cliche type drop.

V/ Jae, for being more original, better usage of multies, better syntax, more interesting, more emotion. Good battle though guys, it was a close one.

Thx 4 the vote, 1-0

lets get some votes and close this...

JayKae - Liked the vocab on this, the flow was sick and so on and so on...but not sure what the topic was really, guessing something dark and evil tho... but the first bar was a good intro and stayed conistance
8/10

Skream - Stayed more with the topic although some parts did seem to drift of, low was good, vocab was simplistic but worked, liked the imagery behind the story created more of a scene
7.5/10

Vote JK, vocab and flow took it for me, although was close

lemme know if you need a more detailed description

Thx for the vote, 2-0

uppin...

guess ill keep uppin until we get votes

v-v-v-v-v-votes?

Jaekae and Skream both had damn good verses. So I'll say that before I do the breakdown...

cohesiveness - Skream
complexity - Jaekae
Multis - Jaekae
wordplay - Jaekae
imagery - Skream
Metas - Jaekae
vocab - Jaekae
enjoyment - Skream
overall - Jaekae


The reason why enjoyment goes to Skream is because his verse was more... tangible. Jae, yours was too abstract; I couldn't really get a feel for the subject matter. Whereas with Skream, it was pretty clear. Skream would've tooken it if he had better wordplay & metas, and the focusing on one person made it more relatable but it also made the drop have tighter constraints to start with. If you had made it just a bit more broad - a neighborhood ravaged by the darkness, for instance - you could've done more with it.

So overall, Jaekae, but Skream was no slouch either. Good battle, and rep to both of you.