anyone? just need 1 dude

Sympathetic Murder

i'm one head among many blending in the crowd/
i could swear my thoughts of ending and rending had slipped aloud/
tempting as i'm covering him in death's shroud/
slowly advancing and my chance will entice him as time's dancing/
why think twice when my legs beg to start prancing/
beginning to rain, the storm's smothering me like a mother's love/
grinning insane, as i'm so close to sending him above/
sinning's mundane because i'm pretending to be a peaceful dove/
something's gone wrong, i'm nervous and second guessing/
this is going on long enough, i've received my weapon's blessing/
the weapon i'm caressing will give the black sky a red dressing/
everything happening in a split moment/
he spits blood but my gun didnt own-it/
everyone's screaming and running/
cars passing, lights gleaming and gunning/
his swift death was so cunning/
imagining his hearst, throw up in my thirst/
a mysterious agent got to him first/
thinkin i'm delirious and ragin while i'm so immersed/

Shit...the black cars are coming back to eliminate witnesses.....

What happens next? No one knows..

basically it's a guy who wants revenge but can go through with it,
anyone wanna collab?
you'd have to basically explain what happened

i didnt even see this... i woulda responded sooner... i'll have something for you

yoooooooo.... after i put my verse up.. change some of ur bars to actually relate what i'm saying to the second verse... because i'm sparking it as a step-father that pretty much fucks up everything you love and this is why your ready to kill...

lol... i quit... it's hard to "tell a story" when your verse go so much internal conflicts in it and leaves the actual issue up in the air... this is what i had thus far:

This is my step-son whose heart I stepped on…
The loving of his mother was best but now gone//
I strung her out… the peril of sex, drugs and lies…
Incest infest our house… ya lil sister was best undressed….
She was left hung to dry//
Conquest, a young man… doesn’t quite understand… why…
Why what little nigga? Don’t question me and my iron hand//
I’m shielded from your feelings like armor on Ironman…
Show my son the .40 cal and keep heat like a fireman//
I’d say “see this young’n” *points* “you don’t mean nothing”…
I’d rape his mother and say “I’ll kill you say something”//
It’s around 8 something, and Con aint ate nothing… fuck em…

but like i said... i'm trying to tell a story of why you feel the way you do w/o any idea of the issue ur going through... it'll be an easier peice if i just complemented your feelings w/ mine of my own instead of trying to make a story out of it... let me know...

ight if you want to compliment your feelings with mine that's coo
whatever's easier man

fuck it, anyone can get in on this
do w/e you want on the collabo
i'll drop this on monday regardless if i get some1 or not
so anyone wanna collab?

i'll PM you my verse on monday... don't post until you get it... i gotta knock a few battles outta the way and actually do some work while i'm at work :(

ah ight it's cool man
good luck wid em bro

i've written the climax scene between the son and father. i'll pm it you tomorrow morning conquest. figured i'd help ya'll out.

D.C. when you have a problem figuring out tell a story, always forget about the rhymes and think of images, scenes, and pictures. just think how you want the story to be told..then write. try that.

sick man

i've written the climax scene between the son and father. i'll pm it you tomorrow morning conquest. figured i'd help ya'll out.

D.C. when you have a problem figuring out tell a story, always forget about the rhymes and think of images, scenes, and pictures. just think how you want the story to be told..then write. try that.

thnx man but my problem wasnt really the story telling... it was more trying to match up verses... i'ma just take it from another angle and send Con some bars this morning