Okay Okay I’ve always wanted to be a sports caster it’s my week long dream so this is the thread I will be giving updates on my 3 teams. The Dallas Cowboys, The Tampa Bay Buccannears, and The New York Giants. Mostly the cowboys and how we should improve and what not.

Week 1:We were robbed, that was fucked up. We busted Atlanta’s ass so damn bad, and we lose? Penalties…mistakes (they come), I mean lil shit to throw us out the game. I seriously think we were Jinxed. A few plays that messed up the game for us on offense. First one was our first drive on 3rd and Long to run it. WTF? Actually I think it was a short pass, but even so….WHY DIDN’T YOU GO FOR IT? Also, both times Quincy Carter Stepped out the pocket he turned the ball over. First an interception, then a fumble recovery by the Mike Vickless Falcons. That sucked. The last play that fucked us out the game was at the end but I forget what it was it was like the second to last play in the game. Bottom line, we shoulda had that. Now tonight we play New York which I cant wait to see, we all know who’s gonna win that one. So let’s cut to the chase

TV Man: So Jeremy Shockey, how do you feel defeating the Dallas Cowboys 328 to 1?

J.S.: Fuck Parcells he’s a dick smoker!

TV Man: Back to you Connie

Lol ok maybe not quite like that but somewhat. Anyway, wooo (claps) how bout New York against them Rams in week one huh? Man Mr. Warner got a concussion early in the game which no one knew of, I guess they really wanted him until the brutal end huh? Well New York is good, so who’s to say who woulda won if Hurt Warner wasn’t in the game.

Damn damn damn…(claps) Tampa just keeps amazing me, a shutout against the Eagles. The same team who they defeated at last years NFC Championship game in Philly, which in my mind was a better game than the Superbowl. And the Philly fans are so supportive…OF A WINNING TEAM. And very cruel…to a losing team.

One last note…I hate the fucking Redskins, so whoever they play I hope the other team wins, even if it’s the Houston Texans. So you could prolly imagine how pissed I was when the Deadskins beat the Falcons by 2 points, the same team who Beat my Dallas Cowboys, the same team who was 10-0 against the Deadskins until the last game of last season when Dave Campo let us lose. Doug Johnson is a great quarterback, but it’s obvious after watching the Deadskins game he folds under pressure. The first half was a great offensive battle, the 3rd quarter was a great defensive battle and the 4th quarter was a great comeback attempt for Atlanta. I cant even lie, Washington may have won but this was a good game.

Anyways…if u got questions please feel free to ask. I doubt very seriously I will do this every week as I am not good with commitment.

what? was that you talking all of the time? if so, lmfao...

lol yea it was why? you think I dunno football nuggah? O I C...you sayin i dunno nuttin but smokin weed and bitches, CUZ IM BLACK? O SO WHAT U TRYIN 2 SAY IM BLACK OR SUTTIN?

u are black nukka..lol....and the fuckin cowboys and giants suck, and the bucs got beat by carolina..lmao

^^^^FUCK U...U GO 2 HELL....U GO 2 HELL N U DIE!!!!!

Cowboys=Best team in the NFL, America's Team, we just goin thru a bad decade right now but we'll be back.

Giants=Vicious...Collins + Strahan + Barber + Shockey=Excellence

Buccanears=Johnson + Johnson + Barber + Kelly + Brooks + Sapp + Alstott + Jeureveceuos (lol i dunno how to spell his fuckkin name)=Vicousness

SCREWWWWWW U GUYS....IM GOIN HOME!

they was only americas team when they was all coke heads, now they suck...no qb...no rb...wr's suck..and the defense sucks....cowboys suck period!!

4 people for the giants....thats hardly worth anything...giants are maybe better than the cowboys and thats bein generous

jurabitches is hurt, johnson sucks as a qb, the other cant make big plays and bitches too much, alstott becomin washed up, barber jus livin off his shitty brother, sapp is good, brooks is good...thats it....that team is about as good as gramatticas extra point in the 4th quarter.,....it's.....NO GOOD!!!
nukka....lol

not really^ ..Cowboys gotta a pretty good rookie QB(Quincy Carter) ..n Joey Galloway pretty dope as a WR also n roy Hambrick or w/e as their RB lol

Vokals…eat your words dickface lol…oh yea thanx for reminding me about Grammatica.

My Cowboys actually beat the New York Giants? WTF? Has hell frozen over? A team like the Giants...lost to the Dallas Cowboys! I must be dreaming, it’s a dry dream! Look man, Quincy Carter really had to prove himself and tonight he did that throwing about 300 yards (hey I’m no sportscaster so numbers mos def will not be accurate) To ppl like Terry Glenn, who caught 12 for 105 yards, and Antonio Bryant, and even Joseph Gallop away.

The first half was all cowboys, and early 7-0 lead by the Giants which came about when Carter threw an interception, had my head hanging down in shame much like BK Brawla, but then we came back and made it 23-7. So the Giants scored and made it 23-14, then 26-14 Dallas, then 29-14 Dallas, and then the Giants tied it up 29-29. At this point I was like “oh great…just the story!” A few things about this game that shocked me was Mr. Shockey dropping passes? WTF? Both with and without gloves. Man, you just don’t see that. Mike Strahan didn’t really do shit tonight, Kerry Colins as usual looks like he has aids, Tiki Barber not with many yards I mean NY really didn’t look like themselves in that first half, or much of the second. They did return from a 16 point deficit however, but the game gave us a chance on one play. Not an offensive or defensive play…a special teams play.

The score was 29-32 NY with 11 seconds left in the 4th quarter, it looked to be over for us, but NY kicked the ball…CONVIENTLY…so that it went out of bounds…AT THE 1 YARD LINE!!!! Jesus thank you! This set us up at the 40, which is where Carter threw the ball to Bryant, who got hurt, but made the catch at the twenty-eleventy yard line or suttin. Billy Cundiff kicks a 52 yard field goal (he missed a 53, that was his only miss), GAME TIED 32-32. Overtime:

We win the toss, first drive after a few 1st downs it’s 3 and out. Now to NY, who also goes 3 and out. They got a penalty on 2nd and 10 which made it 2nd and 15. We got the ball back, oh yea there were at their 20 just about so the punter was at the 1 and we got the ball at our 40. A few quick passes upfield, set us up for field goal position. Billy Cundiff field goal, game won 35-32. Congrats to Billy Cundiff for tieing the record number of field goals made in one game…7. Wow, that’s not a lot, hey fuck u buddy. My Dallas Cowboys just won a great game. This is big for us, but we gotta stay focused. So we made Jeremy Shockey eat his words, hey that’s mah mans and them but he shoulda watched his mouth. And LT agrees, he was on the sideline watchin the game, that man looks like he’s about 62 years old. Bill Parcells is 60 suttin, so is Jerry Jones. Isn’t it funny when old white men dye their hair blonde? Lol like Ric Flair…the shit looks fake, like Lemon Kool Aid or suttin. Anyways we gotta BYE then back to the medowlands to play the Jets…if we beat them, I think we got somethin to look forawrd to this year. If not…we still got this win tonight to hold on to. New York…should really feel bad, they lost to us! Lmao, hey, we suck as a team, but we did suttin!

Cowboys lucked out ..smh

yea...it was a cool game...i watched it and by the end, i was stunned...i wasn't sayin you wuz black, i wuz sayin that the commentary was funny. I just never knew when it was you speaking.

^^I was j/f wit u on the whole black thing

how am i eatin my words..lol..they both suck and some 1 had to win..lol

*crying* omg...i cant believe we did it again.

Early victories are always good, but it seems that early season undefeated streaks is bad luck...at least they were last season. but we aint undefeated...wait yes we is...by 2 games lmao.

wow...good job by Dallas defense. And Jets dont suck neither...Herman Edwards is awsome. But Quincy Carter just keeps impressing me...they won again w/o utilizing Terry Glenn who I think would be a great asset to the team. Quincy just needs to work on his consistency a little better.

His main prollem right now is it's taking him too long to get his mojo working. You wanna get in the groove in like the first few drives not the first few quarters lol

he also needs to work on improving his clutch performances. sunday they didnt really face that problem seeing as how NY never had the lead in the game that ended 17-6...but when the heat is on...Quincy folds...but just a lil bit.

I think they're finally starting to trust Bill...and so am I. Right now its looking good and I hope they can keep it up. Now getting ready to face Arizona...home of the forever cowboy Emmit Smith...I think we have a chance in this one. They may be able to utizile Emmit but we do have a good run stopping defense.

Also we need to make sure we utilize our 3 WR set...it really works, but not too much as teams get hip to it. But it also works for running plays.

Shoutouts to Green Bay for a great win tonight. This is how you end a game: 2 Min left...A 2 possession game...and the QB throws a pick. It dont get no betta...Man Chi got owned tonight wooooooooo....and WWE was there too, THEY were at the right arena lmao. Bret Farve has some time left...so dont hate.

THATS ALL FOR NOW

The CowGirls Suck Da Big Phat Salty One...
Fuck the CowBoys...
But *propz* for Beating the SORRY ASS JETS :P
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