iunno if we've done this thread before but if we havent you should all hang your heads in shame.....now get quotin'

Homer: This perpetual motion machine Lisa made is a joke! it just keeps going faster and faster...LISA! get in here! in this house we obey the laws of THERMODYNAMICS!

.........blah........

Bart: "There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the boogeyman or Michael Jackson."

Homer:Be quiet, Brain, or I'll stab you with a Q-tip

Lisa: Relax? I can't relax! Nor can I yield, relent, or... Only two synonyms? Oh my God, I'm losing my perspicacity! Aaaaa!

Marge(homer wife)- hmMmmHMmmhMMM....

Homer- D'oh!

Marge- Homey baby (i think)

Bart- Eat my shorts

Lisa- mom! bart keeps calling me names

Maggie- suck- suck (on her dummy)

Homer:
"Dear Lord: The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here's the deal:

You freeze everything the way it is, and I won't ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal. In gratitude, I present you this offering of cookies and milk. If you want me to eat them for you, give me no sign. Thy will be done."

"It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day."

"The lesson is: Our God is vengeful! O spiteful one, show
me who to smite and they shall be smoten!!!"



Family Guy is still funnier..

Peter: H-Hold on a sec. I think I read a book about this once..
Brian:Y-Your sure it was a book? You sure it wasn't.....nothing?
Peter: Yea..yea, that was it.

lmmfao...yeah family guy is the shit......



u know wassup....


lol


-Z-

Oh, yea trying to hit them family guy quotes ...

Quagmire: oh, Lois i'd do everthing to you
Lois- What?
Quagmire- i'd do anything for you

Black Knight: you see kids your father is nothing but a fizzle
Peter: Nobody calls me a fizzle and gets away with it. Well,actually,that guy who got away with it was the only one who ever called me a fizzle. After today....only half of the people who ever called me a fizzle will have gotten away with it

Peter: Lois, I'm gonna grow a beard.
Lois: Peter, you know I hate beards ...
Peter: No no Lois, it's time I joined the ranks of great men with beards. Why do you think Jesus Christ was so popular? Cause ... cause of all the magic tricks?

Peter: HOLY CRAP! I'm communticating with nature! Uh, tree, if one of you falls and no one is around to hear you, do you make a noise?
Tree: Oh yeah, Scott fell over last week and hasn't shut up about it since.
Scott the Tree: Oh yeah, go ahead and bitch, but you don't see anyone trying to HELP ME!

Tom Tucker: Well, I believe I speak for everyone when I say all the New Yorkers can go fornicate themselves with a steel rod.

Quagmire: Hey there Gorgeous, how old are you?
Connie: 16.
Quagmire: 18?
Connie: Mom!
Quagmire: I Like where this is goin'!

Dennis Miller: I don't wanna go on a RANT here but America's foreign policy makes about as much sense as Beowolf having sex with Robert Fulton at the first Battle of Antetum. I mean when a neo-conservative defenstrates it's like Raskalnakov filibuster dioxymonohydrostinate.
Peter: What the hell does RANT mean?

Gun advocate: Guns don't kill people, dangerous minorities do.

Peter (to Meg): Remember that pony you wanted when you were 6? Well I've been waitin for a time like this.
(opens closet door and a skeleton of a pony is there)
Peter: Oh, oh god. That's right ponies...ponies like food.

One of my favorites..

Quagmire (runs outside in a robe): Hey guys, what's going on? I was just jerki ... ed out of a deep sleep.

Fuck that shit back to the yellow people

Lisa (reading an invitation to a BBQ homer typed up): 'Come to Homer's BBBQ. The extra B is for BYOBB.' (to homer) What's that extra B for?

Homer: It was a typo

^^LMAO

Moe: *sighs* you know...you go through life...you try to be nice to people...you resist the urge to smack em in the face, and for what? so some pimply little puke can treat you like dirt!? well im better than dirt......well, most kinds of dirt....i mean not that fancy store bought dirt....I...I cat compete with that stuff

Homer: "Jesus, Allah, Buddha, Save ME!"

^^That's the only one I got for right now, off the top of my head....

^ Oh i remember that, lmao.

Homer: Where's the ANY key?

^ Oh i remember that, lmao.

Homer: Where's the ANY key?

LMAO!!

I still laugh at that one....Brings back memories of watching The Smipsons every day...

^^ all this work is making me thirsty....i think i'll order a tab...


Beekeeper 1: it's very quiet today
Beekeeper 2: Yeeeesss....a little TOO quiet...if you know what i mean
Beekeeper 1: no, im afraid i dont..
Beekeeper 2: Well you see...bees usually make noise....NO NOISE...suggests no bees
Beekeeper 1: There goes one now
Beekeeper 2: TO THE BEEMOBILE!
Beekeeper 1: You mean your chevy?
Beekeeper 2: *hangs head* yes

Noah's ark --

God (to moses): you will take two of evey animal...
Moses (taking notes): two animals...
God: Two of EVERY animal!
Moses: even stink beatles?!
God: Especially stink beatles

Homer- I didn't know imflammable meant flammable

Moe-"Is there Amanda Hugginkiss in here?"

To Ruthless:

That was Dr. Nick Rivera that said that actually lol. But that was funny.

oh lemme think.......I suppose your right cause actually I can't remember where I heard that I swore it was homer lmao

That was the episode (and its sad I remember this lol) when they did it like Pulp Fiction they showed everybody's day individually. And I forgot why or how they ended up at some hospital wit Dr. Nick lol and suttin blew up and he said that lmao. When Lisa had the grammer bot lmao. And homer's thumb got cut off. lmao

u guys got issues.lol j/k wit ya.ya i like those shows...they mad funni

Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman! -Homer

Simpsons is funny shit but family guys just better

lmao when the guy complimented homer on his new name Max Power...

Homer - I got that name from a hair dryer

^^LOL i remember that...

Milhouse: we started out like romeo and juliet, but it ended in tragedy

Wow, this is just like Speed 2 except with a bus instead of a boat!

Homer - Now what do we say when we get to the ticket booth?
Bart and Lisa - We're under 6:)
Homer - And IIMM a college student




Homer - Ok brain, I dont liek you, and you dont like me, so lets just do this and then I'll get back to killing you with beer

^^ Lmao.. classic..

lmao just heard this one on the show...

Homer - theres a crayon in my brain?? **points to stomache**