NightMare
08-23-2004, 10:01 PM
Born into a happy childhood till the age of three. Thats when everything started to take turn for the worst. My grandpa whom everyone loved became very ill. Within weeks he had fallen asleep only to never awake. My mom took the news very hard and went into a state of isolation cutting everyone off. Shortly after that my parents got a divorce right before my 4th birthday. Moved out mom got full custody of me with visitation rights to my dad. Everything was ok till the age of 11 when i first got arrested. Charged with shop lifting. My mom thought it would be wise for me to move in wit my dad. A guy i barely knew, but i had no other option what could i do if my mom didnt want me. Moved in it was cool my dad was cool once i got to know him. After awhile i found out i could get away with anything cause he really didnt punish me. Ever since i was 12 i would hang out with the older kids who were gangbangers. When i turned 13 they thought that i was ready to be one of them so i turned out and took the violation and was blessed in. Now i was a G-D all high and mighty thinking i was the shit and i ruled everything. For 2 years straight i was strictly on that gangbanging/ selling drugs shit. When i turned 15 i graduated from being a G to actually being able to run a set wen the Boss wasnt around. To get to this spot i had to do crazy shit. At 14 i had physically hurt someone so bad that they ended up in the hospital and it wasnt from fist fighting.After that i was stabbed for the first time in an alley fight. From then on i was fighting on a regular bases. Once i became a person of higher rank i was looked at differently. I seen so much jealously in people's eyes. One thing i thank god i was smart enough to do was save the money i made. once i was 15 i couldnt walk outside without having some kind of weapon on me. I got my first gun on my 15th birthday from my boss telling me im in for life meaning this is my life. When i first got it i was like fuck this im not carrying this around. Couple weeks later i got shot in the left shoulder. So after that i had to carry it for my safety. December 22nd of that year was the greatest day ever. Thats when i meant my girlfriend. If i knew what was going to happen to her believe me i would have never talked to her. Things remained quiet for awhile besides me getting arrested all the time. Jail is no joke i hate it and will not go back. Even though i was constently getting arrested being threaten and in and out of jail she stayed by my side. Everyday she told me " lets just move away we can make it on our own i have faith in us and know we can do it." Every time i told her no just let me make more money. Greed brings out the evil inside all of us and can hurt us all in some way. Before you know it im 16 makeing money like i have a full time job and expecting a baby. Once i heard the news about the baby i slowed down with everything started talkin to family again and avoiding the gang shit. 2 monthes into the pregnancy my girl loses the baby. Hard point in my life but kind of relieving because we both knew we werent ready for a kid. My friend who was my boi for all my life came to me. He kind of pulled me back to the gang life and im not going to deny it i missed it. War was brought to the streets between us(g-ds) and the kings and the sur 13's. Thats when shit started getting bad. People were being shot stabbed beat up even killed. A couple guys went from our set on a unauthorized mission and stabbed someone. They were punish we tried to make peace saying they went on their own will. Shit didn't work out since they did that it got worse to the point we couldnt even stand on the block for longer than 30 mins. So march comes around im 17 now my boi was on his way to my house. Some one thinks that he was the one that stabbed the guy earlier that week, but was mistaken and they gun him down a block away from my house. i heard screams thought nothing of it till Jose my other friend came to my house and told me that my boi got shot. so i run down there but its to late. That night i was so pissed i went through everything flipping everything. My girl tried to calm me down but couldn't she tried to get me to stay home saying nothing good is going to come from this. I should've listened to her. I went with my guys to get revenge and revenge is what we got. Later on i went to go pick up my girl i remember it like it was yesterday it was dark out and all i saw was her coming down the stairs in tight jeans and an all blue shirt. I always told her not to wear that color but she said " your favorite color baby is my favorite color." She wanted to walk to the park to just spend time together. So we were walking and not paying attention to people ahead of me. The rival gangbanger's brother with friends is standing on the corner. 4 shots were fired total 2 missed and 2 struck my girl in the chest. I remember her fallin on the side of me and me going down to catch her.She laid still in my arms and all i was thinking was that those assholes missed and didnt kill me and that they couldnt stay to kill me too. I broke down after that night nothing was the same i blame me for her death and her family does too. Her family never liked me and now they hate me. I cant blame them i would too. Since then i cant really love any other girl fully because i still think of her. I went with my bois a day later and did what i had to do. And now whats the result of that. People constently looking for me i cant go outside without a gun or looking at every car wondering if people are going to pop out and kill me. Im not going to lie for the first week i was hoping someone would come to kill me i would stand out on my porch just hoping. Now i've given up knowing i've fucked up my life and everyone else's around me. So now im living everyday like the last when truth is i hope it is. This aint a way to live but its the way i live. I've turned my back on gangs but find myself going back somtimes. Thats my life up to this point im just waiting to see how it will turn out.