RULES:
8BARS 2 BAR HOOK 8BARS
NO EDITING POSTS *ANY MAJOR PROBLEMS COMTACT ME*
NO FREE POSTING
NO SWAYING VOTES
SHIT TALKING GOES IN DESIGNATED THREAD

CHECK IN TUES BY MIDNIGHT GMT
VERSES DUE SAT BY MIDNIGHT GMT
*NO EXCUSES WILL BE TOLERATED UNLESS OK'D BY OPPONENT*
*EXTENSION 24 HOURS MAX*

FIRST TO 5 WINS 3-0 KO 4-1 TKO

VOTES BASED ON:
ON TOPIC
FLOW
MULTIS
VOCAB
ORIGINALITY
IMAGERY
DEPTH
WORDPLAY
METAPHORS
HOOK ORIGINALITY

PARTICIPATING MEMBERS IN TOURNEY CAN VOTE & VETS CAN VOTE
EACH PARTICIPATING MEMBER MUST VOTE ON 1 BATTLE AND PROVIDE LINK

TOPIC:
Your involved in another Columbine situation. State the atmosphere, type of school and your role. ie, Gunman, student or teacher. Explain what you think the motives behind it are and if your the gunman explain your motives.

ROFL.

in...

1

In ....................

....Post, Stop BSing and Freeposting....

Gave tw!sted a 24 hr extension....I'll also be spittin tommorrow or maybe later tonight...

My mind brooded times when I was socially excluded/
All the feuds I had were near to being concluded/
Weapons secluded, I walked calmly towards my destiny/
I never embraced Satan but now he was possessing me/
The killing spree to be obsessing me, controlling my mind/
I breathed deeply, and made sure my plans were refined/
Designed to perfection, release of the aggression I let roam/
I thought back to all the insults and all the punches thrown/
Now stressing alone, my time of reckoning could be heard /
Undeterred, targeting all the kids that ever called me a nerd/
I entered my classroom, as my thought turned to darkness/
My evilness shined through after I caused my first carcass/
I embarked on a collision course, deranged by hate/
Heaven was no longer viable; I had now changed my fate/
I started to contemplate, those who thought me inferior /
Unloaded my semi automatic as I entered the cafeteria/

All the times I received verbal abuse, Never again
All the times I was treated like refuse, Never Again
All the times I went home with a black eye, Never again
All the times, that I really wanted to die, Never again

I continually shot, painting the school walls red/
Body parts flew, bullets sprayed leaving pupils dead/
Widespread fear, felt tension as my ending neared/
The blood smeared all the kids that had called me weird/
The hall cleared, so I moved continually from room to room/
I resumed shooting, as I turned this school into a tomb/
A victim I shoot in the chest had a look of complete doom/
As he exhumed blood spurted, and squirted over my eyes/
He was a kid that I despised, which caused his demise/
The police had arrived, so I continued further inside/
Everyone who I saw died, and I still felt no remorse /
Contorted grin on my face creating my own holocaust/
Walked through a flood of corpses, the rush had gone/
Now I was scared about the transformation I had undergone/
Felt withdrawn again, just like before, and I felt cold/
Shot myself in the temple, as I knew that I tainted my soul/

Ready to jump into-the-abyss , all my life I've been facin-the-dark...
Always fuedin-wit'-fists , this moment's been my place-from-the-start
Bullies always racin'-my-heart...but I'm a good kid why these cats always disgracin'-my-smarts?
Kennedy high...I'm makin'-it-stark...cause even the teachers here be usin' racial-remarks
And it hurt inside , murked my eyes , I could tell I was the reason my parents were always frayed-in-looks
Left me dismayed-and-shook , It's hard bein the only white kid in a black-neighborhood
Usually made-to-book when the last bell shook , blasted down the block without one look...
Until one day I ran straight from school to the pork shop cause mom was making-pig-meat
Turned a corner and stared into the eyes of an ancient-gypsie
Told me she knew how I felt and how she knows and how my life is just a big pile of throw-up
Bitch told me she knew a way I could get the whole school to blow-up
So we went down an alleyway , she encanted some sort of mideviel-spell
Pushed all the good out my soul , replaced it with and feeling of evil-hell
Then into my brain rushed a speed-of-wealth , a grim need-for-stealth
Pretty soon my broken down public school was gonna need-some-help...

Hook: We all have a place on this Earth , sometimes you hate-your-role
Everyone has a dark angel guiding them , trying to break-their-soul
Trying to make you lose faith , break your life , and make-you-cold
But when the Devil appears camoflagued , your will just ain't-controlled...

I leave early without a sound , don't even kiss my mother goodbye or shake the hand-of-my-pops
Invision my humble abode in Hell , Concede my life to the Devil and hand-him-the-lock
A car slams-n-it-stops , but I just move on and reach in my pocket , feel the glistenin'-nylon
Stop at a lot , ask my master exactly where I'll position-the-time-bombs
In 30 minutes my time's-gone , so my master leads to to a room where I discern-my-desk
He says put the shit in your drawer cause it'll lead 600 kids to their eternal-rest
So I cackle with glee and try to envision the textures of all the burning-flesh
I churn-my-desk , rap my fists , impatient to see all the wreckage
Blindly following my dark leader , always believein his message , believin' my rights
My thoughts are swirilin' my brain fightin' agains my mind's heathens and dikes
So I think back to that girl I had a crush on and all the teachers I liked
THEY DON'T DESERVE TO DIE!!! Shit...I gotta book it to the river-and-quick
Gotta save some lives before evil and time delivers-its-hit
Heart poundin' , 7 blocks and 5 minutes left , the bomb is shiverin'-quick!!!
10 seconds left , I'm at the bank of the river , the bomb is wild-with-the-pace
Ran to the edge of the dock with the shit , and I jumped in quick ... my soul was saved , and I died with a smile-on-my-face...

yeah good luck

1

ON TOPIC--Twisted (seemed more related to columbine..u know...guns going off, students and teachers ACTUALLY dieing)
FLOW- Twisted (consistent..NYC fell off in some places)
MULTIS- NYC (obviously)
VOCAB- tie
ORIGINALITY- neither (both did exactly what I expected them to do...take the role of the killer)
IMAGERY- tie
DEPTH- tie
WORDPLAY- what wordplay?
METAPHORS- tie
HOOK ORIGINALITY- blah..usual shit

Vote- Twisted

thanks for the vote 0-1 uppin

1

Up for votes...

*Will vote in about 2 hours when I have time*

1-0 uppin this....
Here is link too http://www.rapworlds.com/forums/showthread.php?t=33522

another nice read...


twis...

I never embraced Satan but now he was possessing me/
The killing spree to be obsessing me, controlling my mind/
I breathed deeply, and made sure my plans were refined/
Designed to perfection, release of the aggression I let roam/
I thought back to all the insults and all the punches thrown/
Now stressing alone, my time of reckoning could be heard /
Undeterred, targeting all the kids that ever called me a nerd/
^fav sec of first verse

flow was on and set the topic up nicely...had a nice dark feel about it..

All the times I received verbal abuse, Never again
All the times I was treated like refuse, Never Again
All the times I went home with a black eye, Never again
All the times, that I really wanted to die, Never again
^diggin the hook...repetition works well here...simple yet very effective which is the mark of a good hook...could see yourself chantin it..

Everyone who I saw died, and I still felt no remorse /
Contorted grin on my face creating my own holocaust/
Walked through a flood of corpses, the rush had gone/
Now I was scared about the transformation I had undergone/
Felt withdrawn again, just like before, and I felt cold/
Shot myself in the temple, as I knew that I tainted my soul/
^lovin this...good close out...

ON TOPIC - 9
FLOW - 8.5
MULTIS - 7
VOCAB - 7.5
ORIGINALITY - 7
IMAGERY - 8
DEPTH - 8
WORDPLAY - 7
METAPHORS - 7
HOOK ORIGINALITY - 8.5
total= 77.5

nyc -

Ready to jump into-the-abyss , all my life I've been facin-the-dark...
Always fuedin-wit'-fists , this moment's been my place-from-the-start
^nice opening...

So we went down an alleyway , she encanted some sort of mideviel-spell
Pushed all the good out my soul , replaced it with and feeling of evil-hell
Then into my brain rushed a speed-of-wealth , a grim need-for-stealth
Pretty soon my broken down public school was gonna need-some-help...
^fav sec of first verse...

Hook: We all have a place on this Earth , sometimes you hate-your-role
Everyone has a dark angel guiding them , trying to break-their-soul
Trying to make you lose faith , break your life , and make-you-cold
But when the Devil appears camoflagued , your will just ain't-controlled...
^felt like a sec of your verse...reasonably effective without being outstanding...

He says put the shit in your drawer cause it'll lead 600 kids to their eternal-rest
So I cackle with glee and try to envision the textures of all the burning-flesh
^fav sec of verse 2

second verse felt a bit rushed...spesh the "switch up"...

ON TOPIC - 8.5
FLOW - 8
MULTIS - 8
VOCAB - 7.5
ORIGINALITY - 7
IMAGERY - 7
DEPTH - 7
WORDPLAY - 7
METAPHORS - 7
HOOK ORIGINALITY - 7
total= 74

vote =twis...took this with better depth & imagery...diggin his hook more too...good read guys...up

ON TOPIC: Tw!sted. I couldn't really get a sense if NYC SPITZ was the attacker or the victim.
FLOW: Tw!sted. Each bar had near consistency with syllables, making real easy to read.
MULTIS: NYC SPITZ.
VOCABULARY: Nothing outstanding so tie.
ORIGINALITY: Nothing outstanding so tie.
IMAGERY: Tw!sted. I just wasn't feeling a gypsy making NYC SPITZ do the thinds he did. (What exactly did he do?)
DEPTH: Tw!sted. His detail of the slain bodies and his thoughts while killing people get him this vote.
WORDPLAY: NA
METAPHORS: NA
HOOK ORIGINALITY: Tw!sted. I was just feeling his more.

FINAL VOTE: Even though NYC SPITZ chose to tell the story from the killer's POV, he didn't really capitalize on the topic. It was like he was scared to write about killing people. And having a spell cast upon you, making you do evil things just didn't do it for me. Tw!sted gets my vote.

Tw!sted Wins by KO 3-0 & advances to fave Vokals in the 2nd round.

Nice battle.