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VOTES BASED ON:
ON TOPIC
FLOW
MULTIS
VOCAB
ORIGINALITY
IMAGERY
DEPTH
WORDPLAY
METAPHORS
HOOK ORIGINALITY

PARTICIPATING MEMBERS IN TOURNEY CAN VOTE & VETS CAN VOTE
EACH PARTICIPATING MEMBER MUST VOTE ON 1 BATTLE AND PROVIDE LINK

TOPIC:
Pleading your case on a Murder Trial you are innocent of...# of victims evidense etc.

Good Luck

Check.....

interesting topic check

here we go
number of victims:2
Evidence: murder weapon .38 with my fingerprints

im being charged wit murdering two victims in cold blood
bobby and henry-leakin blood persistently-in this cold grey mud/1
the bodys was found behind the liquor store on 35 and Brown
layin flat on the ground-with bullet holes in they chest that was fat and round/2
no evidence at first glance-no clues, the cops were not aware
but they canvas the area and find a .38 in the bushes all they could see was the glare/3
then they dust the fucking gun for some finger prints-i swear to god im innocent
got to com up wit a defense-but damn look at the evidence that a nigga up against/4
next thing i know im in the precint in the motha fuckin interrogation quarters
they try to shake me-im nervous but I know not to say shit without my lawyers/5
im strugglin not to cry-the victims are two white guys-oh shit im bout to die
still tryin to get my thoughts clear cause i aint got a fucking alibie/6
im black so it wasnt even a god damn chance for my lawyers to post bail
the judge denied that shit so until my court date i got to sent in this jail/7
when asked what do i plea i gave them a not guilty reply
and this is why i sit here in this court today preparing to testify/8

Chorus
If i make out of this imma make it my aim (to top shootin)
find out the hard way that life is not a game (so stop shootin)
Why the fuck then I have to bring my gun that night
now that im facing these murder charges i might lose my life

now its my time to take the stand-walking i feel like a dead man
im just prayin if i do die that i at least make it to heaven/9
on the night of the murder i got an appalling call-from some white guys
telling me they wanna buy some dope-and told me to meet them at the bar/10
so i load the car up-load my gun up-then hop in the care zoomin like what
i get to the bar and these white guys is waitin for me by the truck/11
and its just my luck-i can say the straps on they waist
maybe this was a mistake-comin all the way down to this place/12
but imma hustlin so im just tryin to get this money anyway
this how i fucking learned that some white boys dont play/13
one of them takes his gun from his waist-and puts the nozzle to my face
my heart starts to race-im nervous wit sweat runnin down my face/14
thats when i duck and pulled out the strap-and let the barrel go clap
and i left them suckas paintin wit more red dots than muhfucking star maps/15
then i threw my gun in the bushes-and drove straight i dont know where i went
but members of the juror im tryin to convince you that it was self defense/16

there you have it

Alright, I just now started on mine, so I'll have it in by the end of the day.

ok good luck

Watching a witness lying-on-the-stand and I put my head down sighing-in-my-hand.
They’re implying-all-they-can and the judge continues on with denying-my-demands.
Dividing-all-the-strands, lighting the evidence, finding proof through luminescence.
And in-essence I fade into evanescence, through life remembering my adolescence.
Trying to get a confession in acquiescence, but they’ll never deny me my innocence.
In-a-wench, In-a-sense the proof is-immense and the prosecuting defense is-intense.
The fury-is-rising, the jury-is-buying into the bullshit pulled, the worry-I’m-hiding.
Their lies come quick in a blur,-surprising how my own teacher Mr. Murray-is-lying.
Character witness saying I’m senseless and the Judge listens. Damn, what’s with-this?
Testifying to my mental fitness. I think in reverse like Yoda? Well bullshit this shit-is.
Now they got an eyewitness, saying-that-he-saw-me, this swayings-past-appalling.
Their preying-has-me-falling, got me sitting, head down, praying-that-god’s-calling.
As the threat-expands continually I sweat-my-hands until I’m all wet-from-glands.
They wanna lie on me, looks like the case relies on me, bet they’ll regret-my-stand.
Time to put an end to all these lies, I’ve had about enough of this false-askew-affair .
Convinced of my innocence, no fear in my heart as the judge calls-me-to-the-chair.

I’m eyeing wide, hiding cries with a dieing pride.
These despising guys with some sensationalizing lies.
Inside-I’ve-died, do this by-the-wise, I’m biding-time
But now the timings-right for a surprising-rise

I yearn-for-a-nudge while my heart burns-with-a-grudge as I turn-to-the-judge.
As I start my defense I look into his cold glaring eyes, so stern-and-prejudged.
I begin and the prosecutor interrupts me with questions made in prerequisite.
Didn’t get to finish the-rest-of-it, but I’m given a chance and make the-best-of-it.
“Is it true at midnight on the nineteenth of May you were at the location-given?”
No-way-son-listen, I was with my girl. Why, is in no-way-ya-business.
He points to the table of evidence and asks me “Is it true that-hat-is-yours?”
Fear makes me choke on my answer as I reply with torn and battered-words.
“Yes, the hat-is-mine.” “Well is it not it true that that hat was found at-the-crime?”
I try to pause before I answer. Making every attempt to pass-the-time.
“That’s what I’m told, but that hat was stolen.” “Yeah right, your honor, nothing further.”
“Just because my clothing is found at the scene doesn’t mean I committed murder.”
My lawyer stands and begins with his questions and in truth I answer all-of-them.
Shows some phone records from the nineteenth and asks me who I was calling then.
He says “I was looking through your record and came across a case shifting-find.”
Son, is this your signature on a speeding ticket at eleven fifty-nine?

ON TOPIC: Sadistik-Youngin was on it too but i think you were "supposed" to be innocent..and he said he actually killed the dudes.But it was close..
FLOW: Was even if you compare the first verses..But sadistik edged it out by his whole structure and use of words..
MULTIS: Sadistik..Youngin used end of line rhymes scheme..tho not bad...dosent use many multis.
VOCAB: Sadistik..This is self explaintory.Sadistik had more big words in his first bar than youngin in his whole piece..
ORIGINALITY: I say youngin..I just enjoyed his shit more.It felt like sadistik just focused too much on tryna say he was innocent.Youngin gave me a whole story to think about..
IMAGERY: Deff Youngin on this..It was just easier to picture what he was sayin more.IT was hard to picture sadistiks shit at first cause im only 16 duke..them big words is years ahead of my time
DEPTH: Sadistik..His shit had waay more layers you could uncover and get..while youngins was straight forward.Which i prefere,but it anit deep.
WORDPLAY:None..
METAPHORS:None..
HOOK ORIGINALITY: Tie..Both hooks were filler in my opinion.

My vote-Sadistik..

Yougin..You seriously elevated Duke..
I remeber when you were wit KKR and Droppin WACK shit In Open Mic..Dont know how you progressed there,but this verse you did was nice.The 1st is Verse was very very good duke..These the lines that hit me..


Quote:
then they dust the fucking gun for some finger prints-i swear to god im innocent
got to com up wit a defense-but damn look at the evidence that a nigga up against/4
next thing i know im in the precint in the motha fuckin interrogation quarters
they try to shake me-im nervous but I know not to say shit without my lawyers/5
im strugglin not to cry-the victims are two white guys-oh shit im bout to die
still tryin to get my thoughts clear cause i aint got a fucking alibie/6
im black so it wasnt even a god damn chance for my lawyers to post bail
the judge denied that shit so until my court date i got to sent in this jail/7
when asked what do i plea i gave them a not guilty reply
and this is why i sit here in this court today preparing to testify



I was getting So hyped readen this..The rest after this was disappointing really.You should have took more time to read and edit because i noticed serveral mistakes.But overall it was better than i expected..2nd verse wasent that bad.Just seemed Forced and rushed..THe hook however was blaaah..


Sadistik-Showed ya experience on this..Vocab..Flow..structure was alll on point.I really enjoyed the beginning and the first verse.


Quote:
“Is it true at midnight on the nineteenth of May you were at the location-given?”
No-way-son-listen, I was with my girl. Why, is in no-way-ya-business.



I wasent liking the ending..was expecting more.I like how you put in characters and such and explained who they are..It flowed well though.Even tho the hook was blaaaaah...

appreciate the vote man uppin 0-1 good drop sad

ON TOPIC: Sad took this, youngin had a real nice topical, u surprised me u really did, ur ending threw me off though and left confusion in a way like a bad movie ending so thats why sad got this
FLOW: easily sad, his multis helped his flow out alot, youngin u need to work on your multis, that was one of ur biggest down fall in this along with some of ur lines seemed a bit stretched without having multis
MULTIS: same as above
VOCAB: Sad showed a nice variety of vocab which stuck out to me, youngin you had some basic words no real expansion of vocab
ORIGINALITY: I was feeling youngins def, had some nice twists to it and he coulda had alot better topical if i gave more freedom to write instead of stricter rules, very creative imagination
IMAGERY: the way youngin had his verse left good imagery while sad focused on flow more...
DEPTH: sad had a deeper meaning to it, made u think about it more while youngin was too foward didnt let u think about it b.c it happened right at the next line what u were trying to think about...
WORDPLAY: nothig stood out to me
METAPHORS: same as above
HOOK ORIGINALITY: no ones hook really stood out to me, pretty equal in this department



youngin u could have won if u focused on your flkow a little bit more adding multis, and ur ending left too much to the imagination of what happened...that was ur downfall to this topical
sad u underestimated him, u didnt come as strong as i thought but u still pulled it out, lakced in other areas u normally excell in, like imagery u lacked there a bit focused too much on flow


vote sad

very nice read

my link http://www.rapworlds.com/forums/showthread.php?t=33526

xX My Link Xx (http://www.rapworlds.com/forums/showpost.php?p=398106&postcount=7)

Up for votes...

....

ON TOPIC - Sadistyk was more on the actual topic of being inside the court room while everything is going down.......Youngn's had a good twist but i feel that he strayed from what he was actually supposed to do because he got too into trying to explain how he got to the court room...
FLOW - ehhhh......this one to me is sort of a tie....Youngns flowed well at times and at others to me it was off......as was sadistyks...some of the multis were hard to keep the flow with......and that bothered me.......
MULTIS -...this one is easy...Sadistyk...
VOCAB - Sadistyk again got this....but i do have to applaud Youngn for being able to paint the picture without the use of an extensive vocabulary.....
ORIGINALITY - Youngns was a bit more original but i felt that through trying to be too original he wasnt able to stay on the topic....
IMAGERY - both had the imagery going....but i felt that Sadistyk slightly edged it......only because of him being able to stay on topic.....if Youngn was able to stay on the topic i feel that i might have given this category to him......Youngn captured the emotions a lil better than i thought he would....
DEPTH - ehhh......depth and imagery go hand in hand......i'll leave it like that....
WORDPLAY - Sadistyk.....although niether of them actually showed many senses of wordplay....
METAPHORS - i hate it when peeps add this to voting criteria.....metaphors and wordplay go hand in hand....
HOOK ORIGINALITY - ehhh....Sadistyk....cuz Youngns was juss a lil bit tooooo unoriginal to me.......

all in all....i had to give this to Sadistyk.....it was a close match and i could tell where Sadistyk had semi stopped trying with this piece....it almost cost him....but with Youngns stray on the topic that was what enabled Sadistyk to get the win in my opinion....