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20 BARS 2 BAR HOOK
FIRST TO 5 (4-1 TKO...3-0 KO)
VOTE ON:
ON TOPIC
DEPTH
IMAGERY
ORIGINALITY
FLOW
MULTIS
VOCAB
HOOK

PARTICIPATING MEMBERS & MEMBERS WHO WERE INVOLVED CAN VOTE. ALSO VETS CAN VOTE. EACH MEMBER MUST VOTE ON ONE (1) BATTLE!!!

TOPIC: You are a Jew in a concentration camp, explain what goes on, your thoughts, how you feel. Add actions of the guards and other things that happen there.

GOOD LUCK

..Hi dude..

Sup........

Note: The "SS" are German soldiers

Mud splashes about ankles thrashing the laps naked gasping these unsacred actions/
In flagrant fashion they divide us in packs of healthy one’s and those slated for gassing//
Skulls hastily cracking by flashed shots capturing the passion of torn families grabbing/
A known tragedy gambling when necks next to you are catching 30 calibers strangling//
Wrangling happenings thinking this violence is because their mad at me? That’s damaging…/
Since submission is their plan for me but keeping that mentality is challenging//
Clowning me sparks violence in me, but piety is what father had bounding me/
So fallacies grounded me. Good! Cause Jews taking off where shot down in sprees//
Down on knees hoping Christianity would give a hand to me instead of damming me/
Blasphemy! Their sanctuary lacked sanctity cause priests were the ones who handed me//
Over, this winter couldn’t have been colder as rifle butts and weather stay hording us closer/
Our exposure is un-kosher we’re now filed in just hoping that all of it’s over//
New composure upholstered by a ceiling of shower heads seeing it itches our necks/
Changing our steps then some even bounce with pep unaware of what hour’s next//
Trying our best to maintain hope, water sprays so smiles seal that coward’s joke/
It’s like God’s power broke, or is his salvation all our souls escaping on a sour note?//

(hook 1x)
There’s some of me etched into the walls; the rest? Drifting through wafts of air passing/
You can nearly hear gasping and heaving and feel the chilling cries and the screaming//
Only to fall weakened by those blood shot eyes staring out fighting to stay breathing/
It’s the untold story leaking in cracks where bodies scratched as their souls were leaving//

Finger bones beating holes in concrete till both flesh and stone are receding/
But the walls aren’t folding as easy as me falling down now hopelessly beaten//
Letting the darkness defeat me begging that light sparkling to relieve me/
And repeating my life’s story before my eyes is indecent. So life, please release me!//
It’s now evening the gas is done seeping as fathers carry their sons out in sequence/
And stench reeking from burning bodies? Gave whispered gossip grave credence//
Flames whisked away my flaking pieces clogging the sky and bothering most eyes/
A second gassing blows by so dry that it both causes and absorbs up most cries//
Squinting blind or whishing they could catching horrid rays of piercing light/
Fearing sight, rows of people bearing the plight weighing down their hearts and eyes//
The oxygen’s vile with both scent and scene stretching for miles affecting the crowds/
Ears collecting the sounds of roaring flesh crackling through billowing shrouds//
Of smoke clouds and told doubts vanishing with bodies in pillowing plumes as it unfolds out/
Known now even the complacent mouse is not safer so what code do SS uphold now//
My ashes float down that night swaying rocking them tenderly to slumbering safely/
Still at the scene aging for someone to at least mark where I’m peacefully remaining//

(hook 2x)
(Please reread the hook at this point.)

....An Extension Has Been Given For This Round Until Tomorrow, Some Competitors Have Family Problems Going On At This Point, T1 Thanx For Posting I Apologize For Not Doing This Sooner, Vokalz And I Had To Discuss This

heres' fix's verse....he couldn't log on for some reason

My stomachs churning from this burning, a yurning and hunger for more
We just ate breakfast..a scoop of porage..my gut now wants to plung to the floor
This is just a dungeon of course, one that always is stained the blood remains
Where you cant be touched by anyone..because all of trust, is shame
So much to blame..for the deaths of my fam but I wont hold a grudge..
I was told with love..from my Father to move on..I`ll do so..but bold as fuck
His life I just hold above..as a pedalstool..standing proud; Im a jew you see
As a child I never learned or understood the process of hate but now it hits thru to me
Though I now stand with a bruised belief..I cant sit I want to move thoughts in action
Why do they attack us, because of beliefs or maybe our yamaca`s; dont mock the fashion
But maybe I`ll battle back..my fists, I`ll toss n flash em..start another drastic movement
I stand up and breathe now thinkin of ideas, I start thrashin through em
Hmm I could blast one to em..but where does this gun hide, in his holster, maybe
Wut would one derive from my actions..would I be known as bold or crazy
I see a poor girl hold her baby..she tears up as its basically lifeless
No food to feed it, the truth is bleedin..a guard stares but when does the strife set
Maybe he might get, angry that Im standing, tho I dont care I jus pace n`move
His face changes moods; eyeing me I see the burn in his pupils..hate n crude
..Im displacin fued..
Now Im sick of it, I state, at this gunning rate no longer will I run from hate
This is my hunting space..a shot to his ribs and I grab his gun from waist
I loved his face, the reaction he had his skin was lookin morbid
Looking more dead, I said if he screamed a bullet would b in his forehead
I had now bore death, thinking wisely who ever made this claim to follow
Fame so hollow; I put the gun in his mouth n like any good bitch..made him swallow.
I hate the sorrow, the blood..but I needed no words but more of a silent tip
My violent trips left the man dead; the gun was nice, one with a silenced tip
Id have to hide this gift, like a rocket I then placed the gun in my pocket
Bullshit; runnin to stop it, asked who`d join me I was the only 1 to mock em
I had Adolf on mind, the enemy, one sent to be this spawning evil
I was a pawn at steeple..but now my father would b proud like the 1 who dawned Canevel
These people looked at my bravery, I was no slave to be, or bitch to man
My fellow Jews watched, stayed in awe they all knew shit had hit the fan
I was risking plans; thinking out loud, couldnt think I had no map to draw
Facts were raw, Hitler removed and I had to save my people they looked past my flaws
There was no asking hard..they joined, I then stuck my head out the door
Was headed for more so I looked for other guards I need to leave dead on the floor
Ready to pour, I drain my heart..pump myself and then scream anger
Withdraw gun from waist, cover face as the fumes hit from the steam chambers
Run from danger, I let my gun spit, I loved it..amazing every shot hit
Never my loss drips..close to the devil..bullet pierces..my grudge never will I drop it



*Rolls over..looks around*..

*Sighs*

"Still 2004, Im still having these dreams..Im only 18...I wasnt there.."

HOOK..


..As I wake from this dream..I take in a fiend
Eliminate hate n anger for races now makin it clean
Breakin this team..elite..my father was killed bullets blasted..
And now from the face of evil, a jew will never fall in casket

..Thanks Josh..

Danmn on boths sides the fuck cats went off this topic is mad ill content held mad close cant draw the lien there imagry is the same I mean the fuck, really lookin

Nfurno your grabbed the first person to the fullest the actions through this garbage would of been the same as any then the original points made for a well read the end is a mutal feeling much love


Oracle yours covered the scence from an on look while being in first person details were slightly more extensive than furnos fire right no bust in your felt odd the frustration was just held understood just in the realest case the reaction was expected and unpredictable

I cant call it too ill man

thats it

Vote Both

Oracle:

In flagrant fashion they divide us in packs of healthy one’s and those slated for gassing//

A second gassing blows by so dry that it both causes and absorbs up most cries//

Fixion

Hmm I could blast one to em..but where does this gun hide, in his holster, maybe
Wut would one derive from my actions..would I be known as bold or crazy

put the gun in his mouth n like any good bitch..made him swallow.

These people looked at my bravery, I was no slave to be, or bitch to man
My fellow Jews watched, stayed in awe they all knew shit had hit the fan

The BreakDown

ON TOPIC- Undecided ( Both were on topic, hard to decide who more-so than the other)
DEPTH- Tie ( Depth Shallow on both ends)
IMAGERY- Oracle (used more descriptive language)
ORIGINALITY- Fixion
FLOW- Oracle (had internal same sounding words as well as multis)
MULTIS- Fixion (Both were Decent but in this area Fix was more consistent)
VOCAB- Oracle
HOOK- Oracle
STORY- Fixion
Vote- Fixion

Rationale: This was an Okay topical battle. I feel Fixion won due to the story line because it was more creative. His story had a direction whereas Oracle's story line was pretty much stagnant.

2-1 I suppose..

We`re gonna get votes no where else..

....

ehh....this one was not as exciting as i would've thought it to be......T1 surprisingly the underdawg coming into the tourney has shown great lyrical prowess....i have to admire that.....after looking through a couple of your wins I have seen that you truly are talented...this piece was a little different....as Aero pointed out there wasnt really a direct approach to the topic....which sort of made the piece bland and not as emotional as it could've been......the delivery for it and the descriptiveness also as Aero said....showed more depth and thought......you brought out a lot of details of what happened when being transported to the C-Camps to what actually goes on within them....and i feel that made you stay on topic very well....the multis and what not were off but the rhyme scheme helped me stay with a constant rhythm....which was also good.........


Fixion......Your piece was aight....I've seen better from you.....i guess that with the problems going on you werent able to fully concentrate on this piece.......The way you delivered the topic didn't really interest me.......partially because of the "improbable" direction that you took it........yes there were some uprisings in C-Camps....but a majority of the people taken.....were everyday civillians.....people with families....people scared out of their minds....and while yes people did try to revolt.......they were met with extreme prejudice.......the C-Camps were not as "underprotected" as you made them seem.....but the fact that you played out the scene was semi-appealing...I also feel that with topics like this....some historical facts have to be put within the piece to not take away from the historical importance of the topic....and that i feel was absent within the piece.....the multis were aight...nothing too special....I feel that this piece lacked the POV of what Jews endure within concentration camps and how guards treat the Jews and the actions that they take while residing at the concentration camps.......if that had been included i feel that you probably would've taken this....



ON TOPIC - T1
DEPTH - T1
IMAGERY - T1
ORIGINALITY - Fixion
FLOW - T1
MULTIS - Fixion
VOCAB - T1
HOOK - Fixion


Vote-T1.....


I think that if this was under different circumstances Fixion would've performed a lot better...not only that...but the categories are much closer than one would think....hopefully within the explanation preluding the actual categories will help people evaluate how i voted.....

Thanks X. Though Aero said DEPTH- Tie ( Depth Shallow on both ends) I don't get that kid. Anyway, uppin.

..Meaning, we both didnt go too much into it..

Shallow...Deep..

oracle-
Well i have to agree that Oracle came into this as the "underdawg" but has really proven his skill...Oracle....in this drop u did a really good job of painting the picture of what it was like to live life in the concentration camps to me....the way ur piece flowed was nice also... the only thing tha sort of i guess u can say killed it for me....was the fact that like aero and X stated..it doesnt feel like it has a direct approach to the topic which does sort of diminish the full effect this piece has the potential to have......but none the less...GREAT PIECE...

Fixion-
i have seen better from u also..but this wasnt that bad.. this was a good read...the only thing i did really "Get" into is the fact that u did downplay alot of the historically proven facts..if that makes sense? but i do understand that this is from ur point of view not neccessarily truth...i guess teh only thing that worked against u in this battle was teh fact that history and ur piece dont match up ...but the flow of u piece could use a little work .. i felt like it was off at times but in others it seems to flow smoothly... u took the multies on this one... great piece none the less...u have always shown that ur a talented writer....great work!


BREAKDOWN=

ON TOPIC-Oracle
DEPTH-Neither ( it could have been deeper)
IMAGERY-Oracle
ORIGINALITY-Fixion ( he took a different approach to this)
FLOW-Oracle
MULTIS-Fixion
VOCAB-Oracle
HOOK-Fixion

MY VOTE= ORACLE

Right..


3-2

ON TOPIC:TIE
DEPTH: NONE
IMAGERY: FIXION
ORIGINALITY: ORACLE
FLOW: FIXION
MULTIS:FIXION
VOCAB: FIXION
HOOK: ORACLE
ENJOYMENT: ORACLE

5-4

I liked both but Fixion created a nice image, he painted more of a picture, which I like. Oracle was creative with what happened in the end and the direction it flowed, which made me enjoy it more. But overall I Fixion had th more solid piece so:

\\//ote = Fixion

3-3..


Lets go..

VOCAB: FIXION
? ? ?

This shits fucked up, for how long, man end this shyt, and start the next, scared bitches, talk mad shit be prepared

......Im still waiting on one vote........that's all i need.....*sigh*....



a shame this went to shit.....

What do you need a vote on?

....this battle is tied.....needs a vote to end it....

[QUOTE=I,E]Danmn on boths sides the fuck cats went off this topic is mad ill content held mad close cant draw the lien there imagry is the same I mean the fuck, really lookin

Fixion your grabbed the first person to the fullest the actions through this garbage would of been the same as any then the original points made for a well read the end is a mutal feeling much love


Oracle yours covered the scence from an on look while being in first person details were slightly more extensive than furnos fire right no bust in your felt odd the frustration was just held understood just in the realest case the reaction was expected and unpredictable

I cant call it too ill man
thats it

Vote Both

just to clear this topical out the vote in this favor goes to Fixion, reason being from hsi first perspective the senory became content to his one feeling of emotion, flexing throughout the piece,

while oracles opened the content to a on look from the semi influential, meaing placing cause and effect in the third view to then come in, first th scene then the view point, a good piece when it came down to it, just Fixion seemed rawer

now lets move on, waiting for the next one to start already

Fixion Wins..:)..