Rules:
Everyone should know the basic rules. No bitching or fighting in the threads. Or shit talking. 1st offense results in 1 docked vote, 2nd offense results in dq. Everyone must vote on atleast 1 other topical or you will be docked a vote.
How to win:
If your opponent no shows, (IF YOU NO SHOW YOU WILL BANNED FROM ALL FUTURE TOPICAL EVENTS)
or 3-0 Ko or a 4-1 ko or a first to 5. If a vote is placed as a tie each will get 1 vote a piece. and if it goes to 5-5 i will be the deciding vote or xkwisite. If you have a problem with a vote pm me and i will discuss it with xkwisite.
Length: 30-50 lines

Have fun and enjoy.

Topic: you at a bank doing your daily buisness and someone comes in there trying to rob the bank with 2 other people. explain what you would do, comply, try to stop them or join their side.



Deadline: Check in by Saturday March 19 by 11:59 pm EST
Verses due Sunday March 20th by 11:59 pm EST
Only have 12 hours leway time (docked 1 vote) Anything over you lose a vote. (This only applies for when verses are due not check in.)

check.....

In ta take i,e's spot if he doesnt come

*Ambulance Sounds*

My eyes are closed, lights arose with rigamortis
the stench is horrid, cut, with my visions sense, distorted
its grim and morbid Im mauled, my seats under pressure
in the dimest torment I fall, asleep on the stretcher
my brothers sighin', and in the corner my mothers cryin'
my heart is gone and punctured, with a slug inside it
Im plugged with tyrant the number seven comes in sight
for the simple fact I tried ta save a pregnant womans life...

*Backtracks*

‘Get on the ground everybody down it’s a stick up’
Im stiff, stuck lookin’ at the dents in their pick up
‘bitch what, put ya hands up let me see em
its 4 pm they busted through the door, 3 men
‘Jesus’, a lady screamed, fallin on the floor quick
seein she was seated in the beam from the four fifth
‘don’t flinch or Im shootin his clip moved and
hit the wall ‘stay low’, his accent Cuban
guess he’s the leader, the other two already shanked a fella
took a 9 milla pulled a trigga on the bankin’ teller
he gave up cheddar, these niggas aint even spoke yet
the banker pushed the alarm, they banged it at his whole neck
two guards, came out and started blazin
one popped his waist in the other guard got a jaw and face lift
‘we’re not playin yall think it’s a fuckin game
pull out all ya fuckin change cause right now im fuckin sane
you don’t want me ta get crazy what!
Fuck this lady nuts you crazy slut
Shut that baby up for I spray the fuck’
‘And you, what the fuck you lookin at b’
My head popped up ta see that he was lookin at me
Soon the cops sirens went off they lined inta rows
These dudes went in panic poppin like five in a row
The chiefs screamin’, ‘come out with ya hands up’
I saw a guards’ guns while they were distracted I’d grab one
I heard sniffles, cries from a woman about 22
She said, ‘I’m pregnant and at home I got a son that’s only 2
And he’s at home alone, Im just tryin ta get my welfare
Im 4 months pregnant now and I don’t got no health care’
Damn I thought while the three were still confused
Black masks on their faces thinkin’ ‘fuck what will we do?’
I crept fast got the gun and cocked the tech back
Popped one straight in the head and saw his neck snap
Fuck it I aint goin out my rushes consumed
Plus I frontin cause I aint got nothing ta lose
I hit the other dude dead in his groin area, maybe nuts
He was hurt but the Cuban went and picked the pregnant lady up
You crazy fuck, I said to em’ you can spray me up
But please dawg the girl pregnant homie let the lady cut
‘Fuck That’, he said at once the he blazed me up
my last vision was him leavin the lady stuck and the baby bucked…………….
DOA(Dead or alive) at BOA (Bank of America) live in this I don’t see no way

*Go Back And Read The Top*

50 lines……….Blah Quick Key...Caught me off guard

^^ *rolls eyes* I told you not to use that excuse. That was the point of private msging you early... Anyway... I'll key mine up in a bit and have it in before the night's over, by my time at least. 7:43 central time at the time of this post.

*you generally cash checks every 2 weeks... I cash mine on thursday, so I treasure that day.

It was the flash before death, how can it be daily if I'm cashin' my check?
I only get it every two weeks, I couldn't be askin' for less, so I’m passin’ the rest,
52 weeks in a year, every two weeks, Thursday, I hold dear,*
So if you think about it, there's 26 chances to get robbed clear, ‘n shot here
Imagine today, of all days, Sunday, the Sabbath, walled against death, faced against mavericks,
They’re average addicts, I guess life is like Christ: I just can't have it.

Uh huh, it was like, three guys, three stooges, and three guns total,
Some were hopeful, til "Move it! Don't run, and throw away your mobiles!"
yells the big one, 'black, and bulky' like oversized 'blackberries',
We're trapped, women sulking, kids hide, behind the purses their 'rents carry,
And the bank accountants freak, as they cower behind the counter,
The second robber, sleek, still towers, his eyes narrow, his only power,
And I walk to the third, obviously the leader, say "You ain't gangsta, bitch"
He looks at my features, points a gun to groin, says "Take ya pick",
While I don't run, I mutter, "'k, you gangsta, but I ain't rich."
But it's too late, he just pulls the click, but not at my dick,
I stagger back, knee blown, now I'm the example they shown,
People drop their phones, and if ya listen closely, you can hear the empty
tones,
Simply known, that means, this bank for the next 10 minutes is here alone,
So, I drown the sound out, feel my glistening sweat, and listen to my restless breath,
No constant speed, in my head, I just sketch the rest, I smell people's piss, like reckless death,
Just check this mess, there ain't bliss, I never had my 18th X-mas, never got to pain my.

Finally, they make the predictable move through the unlivable mood, old men puke up their food,
"Open your safe!", the leader dared to intrude,
So scared, the prude, she ignored the fact he was rude,
She went back to the room, got the keys and took gangsta number 2,
To safe on the left, did the combination, to find contemporary treasure
chests,
Checked my watch, getting' late, I confess, the situation a mess,
And I'm losin' faith in the authorities, and I know label myself as a coward,
What the hell can I do? Like broken 'dinner tables', my 'leg's' shot for the
hour,
I 'clock the seconds, the minutes', but I can't stand to 'watch',
As another man stands to be shot, women hand over their rocks
On their fingers, their wrists, the chest connected to their necks,
'cause the only thing of value now, is life and the next
thing I see is effects as a kid cries 'Mommy!",
and the big one says "Mommy's not worth living",
It's kinda ironic, they're stealin money, so how can their words be fitting?

Suddenly, I realize, this could be my last moment of touchin’ a buck, suckin’ it up,
Thinkin I’m still virgin! So much for a fuck, so much for my luck,
Dear God, c’mon, listen up, ignore my nervous stutter, say goodbye to my brother,
Answer my prayers, just try for my mother, I’ll never lie in a day, if I live for another,

Now… it’s the moment of reckoning, so much for a lecturing,
I just get the fuck up, throw a punch in their meddling,
The blood drips down my leg, and in the pain of my agony,
One ‘drops’ like ‘rain’, while the other starts rattling,
Bullets of a chain, as feel my entire body shattering,
Everything stops, except the things that are mattering,
Through the battling, life slips, slowly, impassively,
And… that’s the end… murdered, robbed, life taken savagely.

..*shut up*..

decent battle, both heads had good/strong verses in different ways but my vote goes to


Calamity


the rhyme scheme was a lot better, it was easier to read and a lot more fluid, the story moved along swiftly and was on point, the multis was great, the structure was a lot better then Icons........I also liked the whole flashback thing, that was bonus points

lines that stood out

My eyes are closed, lights arose with rigamortis
the stench is horrid, cut, with my visions sense, distorted
its grim and morbid Im mauled, my seats under pressure
in the dimest torment I fall, asleep on the stretcher
my brothers sighin', and in the corner my mothers cryin'
my heart is gone and punctured, with a slug inside it
Im plugged with tyrant the number seven comes in sight
for the simple fact I tried ta save a pregnant womans life...

that was like perfect, poetic like, set the stage for a dope piece

Jesus’, a lady screamed, fallin on the floor quick
seein she was seated in the beam from the four fifth
‘don’t flinch or Im shootin his clip moved and
hit the wall ‘stay low’, his accent Cuban

^^flowed proper and I liked the switch of perspective, you presented the story very well from a variety of different point of views, real dope


Icon............you had a strong verse too, your structure wasn't as good and your story wasnt as fluid as Calamity's..........still strong but not as...........your rhyme scheme was on and off........it was strong for the most part, you was kickign some good schemes but it wasnt consistent all the way through in style, it jumped around a bit, however where you lacked on the finer touch ups on your verse, you had a lot of dope concepts and attempts at wordplay



Imagine today, of all days, Sunday, the Sabbath

you slipped up here..........the Sabbath is Saturday. now you'll know though


People drop their phones, and if ya listen closely, you can hear the empty
tones,

dope, suspensful.......the line stood out

Dear God, c’mon, listen up, ignore my nervous stutter, say goodbye to my brother,
Answer my prayers, just try for my mother, I’ll never lie in a day, if I live for another,

also like that part



~~~~

good battle y'all

Thanks... Prof, can you edit my post and center the verse? I think it may the structure may be easier to read if it is... pz

Great battle by both of you. I was really getting into it, both had brilliant multis in all your drop. Great flow/structure, kept to the target. Really nice battle, but there's always a winner and I have to vote for Icon in this. I was feeling it a lot more, much more creativity than just just saying "fuck" all the time (nothing against Calamity's verse, because his was real nice as well). I prefered Icon's multis and his flow you can easily get into it.

Vote: Icon

Fav lines:
I stagger back, knee blown, now I'm the example they shown,
People drop their phones, and if ya listen closely, you can hear the empty
tones,
I 'clock the seconds, the minutes', but I can't stand to 'watch',
As another man stands to be shot, women hand over their rocks
Through the battling, life slips, slowly, impassively,
And… that’s the end… murdered, robbed, life taken savagely.

But a real good battle by the both of you. Big ups.

thanx fa the vote....1-1 uppin
and when i was sayin fuckin so much in the verse it was to show the cuban guy in my verses aggression....but i like that yall explain votes thoroughly....peesh

uppin this

Interesting and great battle both opponents did extremely well.

Calamity: What I liked about your verse was the frequent use of multis and you added depth with the vocab use. You stayed on topic and really told a story with your verse good shit.

Icon: Your verse was outstanding as well good use of multis and vocab just as I said with calamity.

Final thoughts My vote goes to Calamity I dunno I just enjoyed his a little bit better that Icons. Tough Decision though.

Fav bars

guess he’s the leader, the other two already shanked a fella
took a 9 milla pulled a trigga on the bankin’ teller

And I walk to the third, obviously the leader, say "You ain't gangsta, bitch"
He looks at my features, points a gun to groin, says "Take ya pick",

Depth: Tie
Originality: Calam
Flow: Calam
Multies: Tie
Story Progression: Calam
Imagery: Calam
Enjoyment: Tie
VOTE: Calamity

another hot one...

flow: cal
multis: cal
wordplay: tie
creativety: real close...but calamity with the flash back. i liked that
topic: tie...both right on point here.

flow and multis did it for me...

vote: calamity
pz

That's a KO. Good job, Cal... keep it real y'all. I'll try to drop some votes even though I'm out to make things go smoother.

yo, good battle...*tips hat to icon*

what i liked is that we both didnt really have much time but we still both came and did our thing and had a close battle....much props...

thanx fa votin....peesh