Rules:
Everyone should know the basic rules. No bitching or fighting in the threads. Or shit talking. 1st offense results in 1 docked vote, 2nd offense results in dq. Everyone must vote on atleast 2 other topicals or you will be docked a vote.
How to win:
If your opponent no shows, or 3-0 Ko or a 4-1 ko or a first to 5. If a vote is placed as a tie each will get 1 vote a piece. And if it goes to 5-5 I will be the deciding vote or xkwisite. If you have a problem with a vote pm me and I will discuss it with xkwisite.
Length: 30-50 lines

Have fun and enjoy.

Topic: Your in a car w/ a group of friends leaving a party and on the way home you are in a very serious car accident. And in the car you and your friends lay lifeless as your soul rises out of your body (out of body experience) from the wreckage. As you look over everyones dead bodies explain your thoughts and emotions. Explain whether you were revived or not too and the out come.

**Note you can add a hook if you want and dialogue, this will not count against your line limit**


Deadline: Check in by Saturday May 7th 11:59pm EST
Verses due Sunday Sunday May 8th 11:59pm EST
Only have 12 hours leway time (docked 1 vote) Anything over you lose. (This only applies for when verses are due not check in.)
Will be strictly enforced this time.

Rules observed ... hope this doesn't come down to me havin to challenge XKW for his position with my opponent (LOL).

CHECKED IN ... THE TRUTH

since Z cant handle it and lacks any creative ability she dropped out..TRUTH ur going to get a replacement person to go against...

sorry for the inconvienance....leave it to a woman

That's fine, but I wont be submitting until I know who it is I'm writing against, and therefore I won't be posting tomorrow. You can set the replacement and I another time some time after tomorrow to submit by. I'm sure that'll be fine with you.

Z should have stayed in.

Get back to me on this: TRUTH

I'm in now, and I've had experience writing on the subject of outer body experience, so be prepared to be eliminated.

In

PS. It's not like it's a regular batle tourney, where your opponent affects your verse. It's a topical tourney. If you don't post tomorrow, I'll just post some bullshit and win by default. And I don't like that.

it's still due at the same time...Illar knew that if he was a fill in he's have a last minute verse to write, TRUTH u've still had nearly a week, still due sunday 11:59 pm EST...a verse shouldn't be written to measure the weight of your opponent, you should always write your best regardless in my mind...hopefully this isnt a problem..

As a matter of fact, I'm opposed to such. D-Illar-1 should have no say in regard when the verses are due. If you tell me at a late stage that there will be a change in who I'm against, there should be a delay in when the verses are due. I propose a 24 hour extension.

And it would be foolish for a person to write, non-cognizant of his opponent.

I seek a review of the time limits to reflect a 24-hour extension. There should be no winning for a reserve 'by default'.

TRUTH

^Once again...

It's not like it's a regular battle tourney, where your opponent affects your verse. It's a topical tourney. If you don't post tomorrow, I'll just post some bullshit and win by default. And I don't like that.

Furthermore, you should've had your drop already written in the first place. So, no matter if you were facing EazyB or Nas, you should've had some base(at least) of a verse. If you have a base, rewrite certain parts that make it stand out.

PS. Please drop tomorrow, as I would like to see(as you stated in the past) you prove you are a better writer than me.

...Hugs and Kisses, Niggerrette...

Vocabulous also points out that tomorrow is Mother's Day; and now it makes sense, that not just for you and I but the whole group of competitors, there should be an extension. I haven't written anything. People have lives.

But if I have to drop by tomorrow, then I'll do so.

WUNZUNO
THE TRUTH

Vocabulous also points out that tomorrow is Mother's Day; and now it makes sense, that not just for you and I but the whole group of competitors, there should be an extension. I haven't written anything. People have lives.

But if I have to drop by tomorrow, then I'll do so.

WUNZUNO
THE TRUTH

Damn, word. I forgot. I got my present like 2 months ago. So, yeah, I'll post reallll late Tonight or I'll drop Monday.

Da-Illar-1 said he would be able to write anything and beat me since he has experience with outta-body rhymes. I decided, in light of that, to take the topic from a different perpective. Still on topic, but requires some thought on the part of the readers.

Without further, my submission:




Author: THE TRUTH
Date: 9 May 2005
TOPICAL BATTLE: D-ILLAR-1 v THE TRUTH (First Round)
Title: MY SOUL IS THE MARKSMAN


Its been awhile since I wrote anything on this fuckin site
And I bet you won’t understand half of what I got for you
But let’s see if you can feel THE TRUTH

Uh Uh Uh Uh

I fear: life, death, everything in between
(Try to take my heart then, my soul is the marksman)
Lies in rap, many dreams that we sing
(Try to take my heart then, my soul is the marksman)

Life, death, everything in between
(Try to take my heart than, my soul is the marksman)
Lies in rap, many dreams that we sing
(Try to take my heart then, my soul is the marksman)

[Verse 1]
Kings and Royalty followed me, collab’n wit the Av
Think they knew Truth, understandin’ less than half
Turned down Writers-Block doin’ bout a buck-sixty
The tightest tops cover titties of who wanna fuck wit me
On the corner is the Powder Pimps
But they’re a bunch of goners, do the wildest shit
Truth don’t want no part of it in this doomed metropolis
I left this World some while back, now return wit a tool on my hip
I heard the backstreets of AP run by dudes a little crazy
“On the Real, what’s the fuckin’ deal? Niggaz think they made me?”
Those the words I tell on my cellie
when she appeared in my windshield grabbin her belly
Do I go right or left, no stopping
To the right a mob of youngins “Look out, Kelly!” they shoutin’
I coulda been about a thousand other places
But I’m here, a second from killin’ a queen who’s pregnant, I fear:

[Chorus]
Life, death, everything in between
(Try to take my heart than, my soul is the marksman)
Lies in rap, many dreams that we sing
(Try to take my heart then, my soul is the marksman)

Life, death, everything in between
(Try to take my heart than, my soul is the marksman)
Lies in rap, many dreams that we sing
(Try to take my heart then, my soul is the marksman)

[Verse 2]
Many yall wonder why, Truth used so many lines
on rhymes off the topic, but nah that’s introduction
Avoided, the seed in her belly, my eyes Katarack seein’ poison
Hit a Chevy black, in the back is where my boys been
They screamin’ loud but the screech of tires now heard above they noises
Too many flips to count, Nfurno joins in
Though the flames find the chassis, fingers of my souls claws in
My shit don’t wanna find no coffin, I’m livin
Its rather mystical, my mind’s on the vehicle wit niggaz stuck within it
And what’s stranger, I feel no danger
Worse, the three bodies I see in the ash the same (huh?)
And the faces very like my own only younger
I realize these my states of mind after hos and ganja
Now I recognize things are slow filled wit hunger
This accident was for dolo
I think I left some party but I don’t know so, I fear:

[Chorus]
Life, death, everything in between
(Try to take my heart than, my soul is the marksman)
Lies in rap, many dreams that we sing
(Try to take my heart then, my soul is the marksman)

Life, death, everything in between
(Try to take my heart than, my soul is the marksman)
Lies in rap, many dreams that we sing
(Try to take my heart then, my soul is the marksman)

[Verse 3]
It’s hard to think when every thought’s hallucination
No outta body experience, say so you a fuckin’ faker
Mirages of cars hit, blood, burns and charred bits
I guess this part is explanation of how my soul’s a marksman
Have you ever looked in your own eyes when there was no mirror?
In one glance a playah, next glance a cold killer?
I pray for, the other third, in his eyes are my words
But as I whisper out my left in my right I heard
the same shit, said in different ways, I reach out
touch my dome, close his eyes and tell him to peace out
No bullets are involved in this assassination
Took a mental accident to take my thirds and erase ‘em, so:

Try to take my heart then, my soul is the marksman
Try to take my heart then, my soul is the marksman

THE END


Length = 44 lines

I was typing my verse and Microsoft Works reported an error....

Closed out my verse....And I can't remember any of it. If I can get an extension tomorrow and you can take a docked vote, I'd appreciate it. Otherwise, you can take the win.

.......You have until Noon Your Time....



I Think You're In Richmond Right....?






*shrugs*




Noon EST.....lol......

I'm a high school student. I don't have time like that on the weekdays.

I'll drop by 3:30. I do remember a little...

I wonder do you all know who I am??

“_________ was driving a rented Mitsubishi Montero SUV and traveling from La Ceiba to San Pedro Sula. According to her spokesperson, a three-person group called Egypt, her brother, sister and two producers were in the vehicle with her. The spokesperson said the SUV tipped over and ___________ died after sustaining a blow to the head.”

It was a normal Hump Day in Jutiapa, in the truck we hurried none…
Riding the sandy roads illuminated by the sherbet sun…
She’s been quietly lately, our mentally severed angel…
Who would wrap her hair up as if it were the devil’s halo…
We exchange smiles, I reflect on the daughter-brother brawls…
My mother would break up, while we recitied Waterfalls…
Her favorite song ever , all of a sudden something I felt…
Then I saw a light similar to the cliché tunnel of death…

*all of a sudden, it is realized that the light is a car heading in the same direction. _____ then tries to swerve*

“Bang, crash!”, it came fast, but we plunged in so slow…
We’re overflipped, for hours we sit under the road…
I knew death was near, but it wasn’t coming slow…
The truck crashed, reminiscent of New York 6 months ago…
The ambience before was screaming, cursing, and boisterous..
Once we were reversed from the roads, I hadn’t heard any noises…
Suddenly I saw 8 peeps escape, and that is my word…
They all crawled and exited like the maggots in birds…
Maybe I was dreaming, I couldn’t believe what I saw…
I saw myself crawling out, head bleeding and all….
Then it came to me, after I saw me, my first true thought…
Was that I experienced what _______ did while in Usha…
An outer-body view of the world, I knew from this reason, you know…
And my skin was plaer than whitewash jeans on a ghost…
I was always in fear of dying, I escaped it barely, so often…
And we fought again, I quite appeared as if I layed in a coffin…
I was so nervous, my thoughts were fried; In a fret…
And my nerves didn’t attack, I was outside of the flesh…
I floated over to __________, she appeared to be dead…
I tried to check her pulse, but I had no feelings myself…
I was mournful, I tried to let myself die to retire…
Not Elian touching land, but I saw a spirit rise from the tires…
And I realized it was __________, an untimely death, I was right…
She said, “You know I struggled to give in for the desperate fight…
But it’s my time to go, and I believe it, understandably…
I hope I didn’t dissappoint you, _____, ______, or anyone in the family…”
She ascended to the sky, it started darkening, scary…
Almost as if Gabriel departed from Mary…
I floated back to my body, I know I barely survived…
I felt paralyzed then I saw the flare in the sky…
I could only remember during the crash, so dreadful, gory…
‘Til I saw the newspaper and I read the story….

“…Everyone was taken to the Vicente D'Antoni hospital in La Ceiba and, according to that medical facility, there were eight other passengers in the vehicle. Four were released, and the remaining four remain hospitalized in stable condition.”

Hmmm...

THE TRUTH: Hmm....Decent Text, Didn't Really Get The Jist Of It, Though It Seems As If This Were Audio, You Would've Had A Much Better Shot. You Can't Really Post Something Like That And Expect Others To Feel It...It's Like...I Don't Know I Can't Find The Word I'm Looking For, But It's One Of Those Things That Don't Look Right When You Read It, But It Sounds Off The Hook When You Hear It, Namean...Didn't Really Feel The Hook Or The 1st Verse, Even Though You Say It Was Just An Introduction...The Introduction Is What Is Supposed To Captivate The Reader Into Reading Further Into Your Verse...It Didn't Do That For Me. Only Reason I Kept Reading After The 1st Verse Was Because I Had To Give A Fair Vote...Sorry. Really, It Didn't Pick Up Until The Third Verse, Which Could've Been The Introduction. You Could've Even Been More Creative And Made The 3rd Verse The 1st, And Start From The Ending...Just A Pointer...Overall If I Had To Scale It, Id Put It As:
Text: 6.5/7 - 10
Audio: Probably Would've Been A 7.5 Or An 8...I Was Feeling The Flow, It Seems As If This Verse Was Made For Audio And Not Text, So I'm Judging This Also As An Audio Piece...

D-Illar-1: Nice. That's All I Can Say...Wasn't Really Feeling The Blanks, B/C They Throw The Reader Off, Then He Remembers He's Supposed To Make Up A Name For That Blank...If You Would've Supplied Names, Before The Verse, And Explained If They Were Male Or Female, Etc...Went Into A Bit More Depth Of The People In The Accident...This Verse Would've Been Damn Near Perfect Because Personalization Is What Causes A Reader To Be Able To Relate And Sympathize With A Character In The Story/Verse. Nice Flow, Nice Multi's, Nice Everything...Last 6 Lines Put The Icing On The Cake. As Far As Both Of You...Creative-Wise, I Was Feeling THE TRUTH More, As D-Illar-1's Verse Is More Like The Generic, Standard Verse You Would Expect, But That Doesn't Change My Vote...
Text: Straight Up 8.5/9
Audio: This Would've Probably Been A 9 Had This Been An Audio Battle...I Suggest Recording This...


My Vote: D-Illar-1

Best Read So Far In The Tourney...IMO

Ok I'm just gonna get down to the critique part. :)

THE TRUTH: I do agree with NaCirema_NY that your introduction is supposed to captivate the reader so they will continue to be interested in your drop. And I felt that your introduction was lacking. Your first verse seemed like too much filler IMO. There was nuthin that grabbed my attention. The chorus was ok but nuthin spectacular (no offense). I wasnt really feelin the second verse either, once again there was nuthin there pullin me into the read. I also felt that your third verse was your strongest. Also I felt that some multis coulda helped out the flow a lil more. If you coulda made the other two as potent as the third this coulda gone your way.


D-Illar-1: Great way to pull the reader into the drop. You gave off some really nice imagery, which gave me a great mental picture. I dont think that the blanks were a "downfall" to your drop, but do agree with NaCirema_NY that it woulda added to your drop knowing whether they were male or female. But also when reading a topical I feel that one needs to be creative and have a good imagination. Flow and mulits were mos def on point! I felt that the creativity was also there. The ending was a great way to bring everything to a close.

Vote: D-Illar-1

Because this Topical seems destined to be won by D-Illar-1, I will concede the remaining vote needed and grant him the victory and advancement to the next round.

I submit my vote for D-Illar-1

But I do believe I want to explain some of my drop to the people who didn't get the first nor second verses. I guess I can understand why they wouldn't understand -- because they are new to RW or not informed enough to see it.

The references to "Kings" in the first line is THE SUPREME KINGS, when I used to be a member (around the time that BRAWLA, LAMAR, etc were in it) and the reference to "ROYALTY" is concerned with the female Ny, who came on RW posing as AZERDAE initially. The "Av" is AVENUE or, as he was before, VICEMOB.

If you did a search on RW you will see that I've written many drops spanning far back. Then I stopped writing, motivated by bullshit from others and "WRITERS BLOCK". There were also many women who considered it appropriate to consider me wrong for simply talking to them, etc, hence the line: "The tightest tops cover titties of who wanna fuck wit me".

Throughout the submission you see references to NFURNO, and KATARACK, as well as other portions of my history on RW. The drop, to me, represented a re-birth almost. The accident (and you will see this if you read close) was when I left RW after pressure from many, including QUIZ from the POWDER PIMPS.

So though I said the first verse was merely introduction, that did not mean it wasn't relevant. No lines in this drop are wasted. You just have to think about what I'm actually saying first.

You will also notice references to AP and REAL (both crews on RW) and if you read close you'll see clearly what I think of them. The third verse was a tie-up of my thoughts, but it's actually the weakest.

This drop tells of my beefs on this site, my good moments, my return and my perceptions of self. I think it may have been read too lightly thus far -- but that is to be expected.

I do respect the votes given against me; because I too enjoyed D-Illar-1's written. More power to y'all. Good luck for the remainder of the Tourney.

WUNZUNO
THE TRUTH

Just to make it official, I'll go ahead and give my vote to D... and explain it as I was going to anyway. (Sorry, would've voted last night but I fell asleep at the computer hence why it still showed me online all night).

Truth, your concept was pretty original. I felt a lot of your stuff was unneeded, and at times, your flow was offish. Your hook was tight. Intro seemed irrelevant. And though you clarified, I think it's important to understand your target audience. You've been here.... since before me and most of the others in this topical tourney. So understand in a tourney, you're still here to win votes, not to impress vets, because there's hardly in oldtime vets here who are going to catch your drift. As an actual text drop, not for a topical tourney, this would have been better. I feel what you were saying about your references to certain historical aspects of RW. That's what I think made it more original. I think you should have gone more into that though in some way or another and referred to more of the contemporary crews if you're going to refer to the older ones too.

D, your drop was pretty straight to the point, and there wasn't anything abstract about it. I think that's what won you this match, 'cause as for as flow, structure, etc, you two are pretty much even, and I think in some aspects, it's not fair that two of the top prospects for this tourney were set against each other in the first round, but that's the way the cookie crumbles. My favorite bar was:
She’s been quietly lately, our mentally severed angel…
Who would wrap her hair up as if it were the devil’s halo…

Overall, they were both great drops. I think Truth had a great concept in mind, but D held it down in the end. Good use of imagery, flow was excellent on both sides.... But my vote is for Illar.

Good battle. Actually, being one of the oldheads of RW, I felt your drop TRUTH. You should re-post that in Drop Rhymes or something. It was pretty hot.

Thanks for all the votes.

Also, I didn't want anyone to know that this drop was about this death (http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1453611/20020426/tlc.jhtml) until the battle was done, as to not give me a disadvantage.