Rules:
Everyone should know the basic rules. No bitching or fighting in the threads. Or shit talking. 1st offense results in 1 docked vote, 2nd offense results in dq. Everyone must vote on atleast 2 other topicals or you will be docked a vote.
How to win:
If your opponent no shows, or 3-0 Ko or a 4-1 ko or a first to 5. If a vote is placed as a tie each will get 1 vote a piece. And if it goes to 5-5 I will be the deciding vote or xkwisite. If you have a problem with a vote pm me and I will discuss it with xkwisite.
Length: 30-50 lines

Have fun and enjoy.

Topic: You are part of a drug bust (either the good cop or the crooked cop). Explain what happenes at the bust and how you try to cover yourself up and what actions you try to do to cover yourself up. Or if your the good cop what do you do realizing its your partner who's the crooked cop and that you are out numbered with out full back up arising yet.

**Note you can add a hook if you want and dialogue, this will not count against your line limit**


Deadline: Check in by Saturday May 7th 11:59pm EST
Verses due Sunday Sunday May 8th 11:59pm EST
Only have 12 hours leway time (docked 1 vote) Anything over you lose. (This only applies for when verses are due not check in.)
Will be strictly enforced this time.

Checkin In...Links Later.

Check One, Check One Two

Alex
Tony

Alex: So man, where ya wanna eat?
Tony: I feel like a bit of BK
Alex: Aight
*Both Alex and Tony jump into the patrol car as Alex starts the engine and drives outta tha station*
Alex: So ya first month here, what you think of the place?
Tony: Yea, i'm really getting on, place is much better than the shithole of Detroit's department, i can
really see myself in promotion if i keep my head down and focus like you said.
Alex: And the people?
Tony: Damn, ya'll family already, it seems like i known em all forever, apart from Scott.....
Alex: ...I wouldn't worry about him, his on his way out soon, Chief's getting real pissed with his attitude.
But enough of that, we got a drug bust going on, and straight after lunch we're coming back here to
brush the paperwork up.
Tony: Sure thing boss.
*Radio sounds*
Operator: We have a disturbance at the Northlands estate.......
Alex: ......Thats only round the corner, we can get there before anyone else.
*Switches on siren and accelerates the car*

Alex:
Groping the peddle, Hoping to meddle the near future time with ease,
A fine disease incorperates my mind blowing across winds from seas,
The fiends desease that before a second conscience would power along,
And shower a strong force, Lights now flashing pushing the hour on,
Not a sour thought from this head, All positions poised and prepared,
I hoist my free hand to the gear stick, Shove to fifth as the noise is flared,
The boy is bred by my guard, Fed with the hard style of the streets,
So for a while my feet were cold with unleashing this pile of heat,
The bile will beat him mentally, Could he face it physically?
Or race hysterically with shock? Or raise out miraclously?

Tony:
Viciously eating the tarmac, Vigorously breathing on track,
Teething a black hole in our presence, Wind attempts theiving it back,
Leaving intact, My head set to bust criminals to prison cells,
My vision smells the cocaine from two blocks in my precision cells,
The air's collision spells the direction, Sells forth information,
Heading North in formation with each others acceleration,
Like a brother in a ration halved but doubled with simularities,
Troubled in the reality, Thoughts clear, bubbled in all clarity,
Accuratly approaching, The walls decorated with sprayed textures,
Displayed ventures portrayed before me in a braid of mixtures.

*Car pulls up on the gravel*
Tony: Damn this place is run down
Alex: Yea what do you expect.......Ok stay in the car whilst I go and take a look around.
Tony: Aight, but if you need me?
Alex: I'll call for backup on the radio
Tony: Aight g'luck man

Alex:
Stepping from the footwell and to the silence in sheer domination,
I hear temptation to bring Tony but i throttle the anticipation,
Bottle my anticipation, I reach the building and enter the depths,
Mentor my breaths steadily, I'm readily in the center of sets,
Cigerettes in the moment, Tingling my tongue with the taste,
Mingling along in all haste i hear voices sprung, Heart embraced,
Start to pace faster, Race faster to the target in the dim gloom,
The grim room as bright as the tires outside in the ghetto's fumes,
Fierce hello's bloom my silenced ears as i land hard on the torn seat,
In the corner, Fallen asleep awakes the boss, Eyes straight to gazes meet.

Dealer 1: You alone?
Alex: Na i got a collegue in the car
Dealer 2: You said you was coming alone
Alex: Chill, he ain't gon be coming here. So when am I gon get my cut?
Dealer 1: Tomorrow...
Alex: ..What! I came up here to get my cut so we can finish it all off.
Dealer 2: The transaction cocked up yesterday, we gotta take another shot later tonight.
Alex: Fuck that, you know the only reason your running this shit is cus i aint snitched on you.....

Tony:
My gun in hand, Circles running round in my head as he departed,
My heart restarted, Skipping beats, Tripping beats, Gripping I darted,
Faint hearted, Anxiously I followed his steps to a dismal building,
My brains call weilding nervousness in an abysmal healing,
A baptismal ceiling fallen through, Shattered glass shards scattered,
Sharades mattered; cus i couldn't put a word to this world battered,
It whirled as i rattled in the hushness, Light in my eyes,
Despite all the 'whys?', Gultiness didn't once drop to the height of my eyes,
My ears vitalised with decieved lies, Every word made an impact,
Fading to facts faced, The facts placed, Shocked, Spider senses laid intact.

Alex: I want my cut of the 200K! Why the fu....
*A crash is made outside*
Dealer 2: ....What the hell was that?

My foot misplaced, Slipped, Cracked my knee on the stone concrete wall....

Almost had the complete call to tha money, What distracted these fools?

Alex: Stop trying to change the subject
Dealer 1: You sure ya boy's in the car?
Alex: Yea.....
Dealer 2: You want me to check boss?
Dealer 1: Yea, bring whoever it is in here, no shootin aight?
Dealer 2: Aight

*The dealer walks out the room as Tony is struggling to get his foot free*
Dealer 2: Ah, what do we have here?!?
*Grabs Tony and pulls him into the room*

Alex: Tony! I told you to stay in the car...
Tony: Yea well i wanted some action, i guess I wern't supposed to come
Dealer 2: What we gonna do with him?

Alex:
Damn, Jammed in a dillema, Fingers tremored in the presence,
Centered in the essence he stood, I dropped, Entered my minds cresents,
I had to escape, Fire home with my firearm to try and escape,
They facked the con? I ached in long intervals to fire and take,
Take the briefcase on the table, Theif untraced and ably get out,
So I let out a breathe, Set out the theft without having to bet a doubt,
Arouse my hand, Gun cocked, Unlocked, Two shots, Threw the locks,
Aimed to dock Tony unless he moved, Ran hard and blew more shots,
The doors opened, Case in arms, Tripping and falling, Kicking up dust

Tony:
Keepin hushed i sprinted after him, Light sprung as i struggled to adjust,
Puddled in rust from the metal girders crumbling, Headstrong to catch up,
I bled from attached luck on my back of being so dead wrong to match up,
Snatched away my weapon, Aimed, To far off, Blamed my stupidness,

Strained through the mess, Reached the car on cue to the road to free this,
I load the pieces of my mind together, Jam the keys and turn the ignition,

Concern in vision, Struggling, Still, Scurrying, Steel stated, Stern incision,
I burn, Decision is swaped, The mission copped by the cop uncaught,

My foot lock wrought to the peddle, Accelerated, Destiny: The Airport.

I am posting this for NaCirema NY



Title: The Mirror

My Verse Is Broken Into Three Parts…The Intro…The Dialogue…And The Rap.



The Intro:



*Alarm Goes Off…*

I felt a bright light hit my face…what an ominous feeling..../

Eyes still half closed, saw the wall and the ceiling...//

“10-4, we’ve received an alleged call of a dealing…”/

“Roger that…” the money was scarce, but the job was appealing…//



The Dialogue - Non Rhyming



“They say that once a mirror’s broken…this karma catches up with you…

You cause a rift in the balance of nature…the way things were…the way things USED to be…

You see, a mirror represents a parallel balance between two separate entities.

Intertwined…they thrive off of one another…these things are not to be separated…

Lives can sometimes be mirrors…your mirror must not be broken...

For he who is responsible for this shall reap the shortcomings that are due to him…

We’ve all had friends, with lives that shared an unbearably remarkable resemblance to our own…

This is known as what I call “A Biological Mirror”…

Some of us keep the mirror intact…while others break it…

We’ve all had friends that took that ONE wrong turn in life…

The costly turn that shatters the mirror…see…he or she no longer shares that similarity after this incident…

Incarceration…Dropouts…Death…Drugs…These are the things that break our mirrors…

Once it is broken, it can never be the same…”



..Let Me Start From The Beginning…



The Rap



My main man Coral…since junior high, we wasdo or die…/

Two (of) a kind, I never thought I’d see you do a crime…//

I’ve remininced, the fluid times of how my mother would…/

Treat you as her own…what we had, was like a brotherhood…//

What brother could…turn his back just like it’s nothin’ good?.../

You left me blind. I never ever grasped my sight or understood…//

Similar lives, mirrored…paths thatne-ver would change…/

But in the end, everything must go their sep-a-rate ways./

We attended the same college…then of course, this kid…/

Started changing…evolved through metamorph-osis.//

------------------



I would work in the evenings, tryina supply my tuition…/

While he would party all night; soon we were rivals through distance…//

Never spoke through the years, and soon, I held a degree…/

Law enforcement. Had a feeling he was jealous of me…//

Cause I could tell from when I’d see him in class…he’d sneer dirty…/

On top of that, I got to graduate a year early…//

I left him back at campus, just to join the Academy…/

Couldn’t believe the irony, because he joined the year after me…//

Even more ironic, cuz we both became officers./

He excelled in that field, though I remained ah-mateur.//

Soon, he’d rank as a Lieutenant. While I’d strain, and pray…/

I watched my life unfold like a sequel to Train-ing Day.//

He walked around flashing his new badge…right in my face…/

Again, I had ominous feelings when the light hit my face…/

My eyes squinted. Was my life turning into a test, riddled?//

I ignored it. Went home, and woke up to adistress signal…//

“Roger that…” I suited up…and caught a gimpse of the mirror./

Hallucinations of a cracked face…my vision was clearer…//

Right then I got a phone call…from my “Lieu-tenant.”/

He said, “Let’s put the bullshit aside, and do-buisness…”//

Right then I had unbearable riddance…/

He said, narcs on “24th & Ridge.” I told him “I’ll be there In a minute…”//

Socks on my feet. Feet in the boots. Boots to the pedal…/

“He got a badge. This ‘mission’, I’m tryina shoot for a medal…”//

It wasn’t long before I met him at the des-tination…/

We shook hands…shit, it almost stopped my res-piration…//

“Glad to be on duty with-you, sir…long time…”/

“No time for that, officer.” He pulled out a long nine…//

He said, “It’s time to go-and-find-the-bounty…/

But I was so caught in the moment, I ain’t even no-tice-my-surroundings…//

I could tell that here was hood, from the chalk on the floor…/

I cocked my four and held it steady as we walked in the door.//

Emp-ty house……Shit, I was bout ta emp-ty out…/

A full clip, nervous…No, this was simp-ly doubt…//

Tension building…we split up. I had the heat by my side…/

Little did I know, I was about tomeet my demise…/

I walked in the master room, with chills, all in my back up,//

To my neck…then I hear my partner callin’ for back-up.//

But before I could respond…and before I could turn around…/



*BANG*



…A gunshot forced my burner to the ground.//

I was idle…cringing in pain, my palm cracked, figured./

Looked up to see I’m surrounded by tall black figures…//

Lieutenant was behind them, gun…right in my face…/

He told me…”wish me good luck, if I have to end up fighting a case...”//

His black heat, made the brightness negate…/

I only recall saying “why,” as this ominous feeling of light hit my face……//




…end…

I feel both were hot drops here. I read both fully, twice actually. Anyway to judge on how both verses affected me, i would have to say that Krypton became more in depth than NaCirema, because with every line from Krypton i was introduced to the story much more quicker. I feel that the flow on the verse of Krypton he ripped it, it just all slid together perfectly nearly. I don't know who to blame for the broken up lines in NaCirema's drop but i found it harder to read and catch a flow on too. Structure for both seemed tight, so no problems to any there. For the length i feel Krypton's was a lil too long, it took me like 20 mins to read it only twice, but it was all relevant. NaCirema's drop length was probably just about right. I liked the introduction of the both of these, they're totally different but i still like both,and i can't choose between either way. For the final judgment of the pieces, i read both again,and i have base my vote upon...Krypton.

It was a fairly hard choice to make but i feel that all round he just produced a better drop, but no hatin to NaCirema, i liked his too.

Vote: Krypton

I'm Feeling Basically The Opposite of Ghost....
Krypton-I liked ya concept and the way you approaced it...Very good vocabulary and all...But to me it just seemed like you put words here and there that rhymed and really didn't make much sense..And i seen some words that shouldn't have even been there, like you could have left them out and the part would be fine without it..Other then that it was a decent piece..Length was good, i just dont like reading much of the random dialouge...rather just do the topic and go with it...But regardless you did ya thing and it was nice

NaCirema NY-Liked it right from the begining, i got into it quick and easy..Kept me on the edge of my seat waiting to hear more..Vocab and flow were on point..I dont see broken up lines, it looks fine to me...It was easier to read and grasp better then Krypton's..Your Approach to the topic was one that i wouldn't expect and enjoyed...The mirror concept was real dope and creative as well...

Vote - NaCirema NY

Good Battle Both Of You...

I don't like reading small text.
And I don't like reading double spaced text.

I think too much editing to the fonts is more of a distraction. If you're seperating hooks, dialogue, etc, then sure, that's understandable, but other than that, ehh. I think it's there for show.

So docking points of preference for both styles of posting their verse.

NY, I think the way you bolded the end of your lines ended up showcasing how simplistic your verse was overall.

I also admit, I'm bias towards the shorter lined bars. I think it makes it all flow together better. I think Krypton had better flow. Both had pretty decent content, but the mechanics of Krypton basically KO'd NY imo.

Vote: Krypt.

Ok first off Ive been undecided on this battle since both dropped their topics...I've read both about three or four times (NO BULLSHIT!) and I have to admit its hard to pick one. Both drops had me interested from the beginning. I feel that you both worked pretty hard to come up with a good verse for this topic, and to NaCirema NY I know that you were working on even less time considering the funerals you were destined to attend. I know that there were a lot of no shows, but I feel this was the best battle of round one. Now on to the critique part of the voting.

Krypton:
I really enjoyed the way that you approached the topic. I thought that the way you switched from both cops was your creative side. The vocab was straight and I felt it even brought out your drop more. I felt that you had a strong dialogue and stronger rhymes. Your multis were on point and you gave off some killer imagery. You did your thing and I felt you came good with it.

NaCirema NY
I really enjoyed your dialogue. That shit was deep and IMO really can make a person think. With that said I feel that you the both of you approached the topic in completely different ways. As I said your dialogue really got me into your drop, but I felt that your rhyme scheme coulda been stronger. I kinda felt that you were holding back. I felt some multis coulda helped out your drop but thats just me. Your structure was straight. But in the end I just felt that your verse was too simple. (No Hate)

Vote:
Krypton

Very good battle fellas...You both surpassed expectations...here's how I see it...

Krypton:
Good job on the storyline and dialogue outline and setup...I thought that was very well done...The number of multi attempts was excellent, but I felt there were many times where they weren't pulled off...you reached for or forced them...you gotta learn the balance between getting the depth and feeling of your story across as vividly as possible, & fulfilling the technical aspects of rhyming in a balance with that...I thought THAT could have been done better...Too many awkwardly phrased sentences for the sake of rhyme scheme...develop more natural wording to go along with your lyrical advancement...I am being very hard on this, because I thought it was well above average...but this is where your improvement needs to be made...

NaCirema_NY:
I see that you sacrificed a complex multi scheme with bridges for the sake of exceedingly natural wording...I feel you more than adequetly compensated for that deficiency with the caliber of multies that were used at the ends of lines...veerrryy smooth and conversational...and 5+ syllables...slick...You said a couple of really deep things, and overall this had a very authentic feel to it...I thought this was done excellently; and captured the essence of what a topical should be...the balance of technical lyricism with the poetic depth of message...and clarity of wording, natural prose-like execution...for that, you have won this...

Winner: NaCirema_NY

I've read both three times over the last couple days. I have further read the views of the persons above this vote, to determine if I concur or not in my opinion of who should be awarded my vote.

What I like so much is the ability of a person to write a rhyme which flows effortlessly, isn't stressful on the read or on the ears when expressed aloud. What I found, after reading the submissions over time, is that Krypton -- though developing his story well, and spending time on the "plot" so to speak -- did what essentially everybody does when they write rhymes: he tried to rhyme so many times from one line to the next. That in itself was monotonous to me. Similarly, monotony was found in NaCirema_NY's piece, but I have to commend the writing for it's sheer simplicity and ease of language.

The latter drop demonstrates a certain poise in the story-telling. Something relaxed and sublime but rhyming all the same. That can be appreciated in a place where so few write in that manner.

My vote stands in favor of NaCirema_NY.

Krypt, pretty nice drop. This is my first time reading your material, from what I know. Anyway, you did a good job with the vocab and the complexity. But one thing is, you overused the complexity, to the point, you had to take out some key words that would've been necessary to keep the line followable. The other thing is, the vocab single-handedly threw off the flow a little. Other than that, you dropped very nicely.

Nacirema, this is my first time reading your ish. Based on your freeposts, I thought you would be some wack fucker I could laugh at. But you're not supposed to judge books by their covers and I did. Your verse was very nice. You had the rhyme schemes and flow packed in there, and you had a very good amount of imagery. However, what kinda hurt you was the lack of complexity. If there was some kinda way of mixing the complexity and your style, without hindering anything, it would of been good to do it in this battle. Another thing is, fix your structure. It was very hard for me to flow along with it in the beginning. Other than that, good job. I expect and hope to see you drop more.


Originality: Tie
Complexity: Krypt
Vocab: Krypt
Flow: Nacirema
Multies: Nacirema, better usage.
Imagery: Tie
VOTE: Tie

The reason the vote was so, other than the breakdown, is because I just couldn't find a clear winner in the match. Excellent battle, you two.

myself or bernard will make the final vote....

............This battle was definitely good.......between two different styles of writing and two totally different concepts of delivering the topic.......Krypton.....Ya verse was good....some multis off at times.....and some useless lines that could've been used to really bring out more of the story and more of the emotion that the characters had......i say this mainly because after reading ya verse it seemed as if it was totally incomplete......to be more specific....you started writing the topic....and it was good.......there was depth you completed ideas........and you made events relevant with what was going on.......but towards the end.....it seemed rushed.....mainly because you had either reached the line limit or couldnt post more....and that's what hurt ya verse the most........if you had completed the idea of what was supposed to happen at the end it would've left the overall effect of ya verse a lot more appealing.....



Nac.....NICE concept....i'm impressed........you turned the topic into a more involving portion of the story.....you turned the topic and made a sub-topic of what was going on within ya story......the concept using the mirror and repeating the certain phrases within the piece made things connect and brought out the events within the story that were important........i enjoyed reading ya verse a lot more than i did Krypton's mainly because of the fluidness that you brought with the topic and how deep you made both topics come out......


Vote-Nac