Rules:
Everyone should know the basic rules. No bitching or fighting in the threads. Or shit talking. 1st offense results in 1 docked vote, 2nd offense results in dq. Everyone must vote on atleast 2 other topicals or you will be docked a vote.
How to win:
If your opponent no shows, or 3-0 Ko or a 4-1 ko or a first to 5. If a vote is placed as a tie each will get 1 vote a piece. And if it goes to 5-5 I will be the deciding vote or xkwisite. If you have a problem with a vote pm me and I will discuss it with xkwisite.
Length: 30-50 lines

Have fun and enjoy.

Topic: Your on stage rapping on a tour you and your crew is doing. During the concert a riot breaks out with multiple gun shots and fights breaking out. So you leave the stage area and get to your tour bus only to find 3 armed men in there holding you hostage now. Explain the series of events and the outcome.

**Note you can add a hook if you want and dialogue, this will not count against your line limit**


Deadline: Check in by Saturday May 7th 11:59pm EST
Verses due Sunday Sunday May 8th 11:59pm EST
Only have 12 hours leway time (docked 1 vote) Anything over you lose. (This only applies for when verses are due not check in.)
Will be strictly enforced this time.

In.......;)

check this in

Rappin in Mobile, Keepin it movin plus it's the actual city
A battle planned fa Alabama, enough spits to tragically catch beef
It hadda be set deep in the south, here racial tension predates the music
But it's all love with me & my crew, yet it might be too late to prove it
The battles was hot, we had a local clique smokin it against my manz
But we couldn'ta prevented plans cuz from jump these events was damned
A potential scam had come to light when I discovered some shady behavior
I sorta expected to see heads beam but I never thought it may be a lazer
Integrity's not a savior here and I seen the infrared that replayed my fear
This shit went from a lyrical war to actually havin danger near
So we ducked right quick, and dipped while the beat just dropped like a nightstick
Cops arrived but the fights been thick while shots rang out and cats start to die
Raps dispatched homicide, and it's sad the drama lies within context
Shit was taken out, I mean the content cuz what was meant wouldn't harm shit
It's all tripped, so fuck this concert we leavin out the back door
There's honeys to date & money to make, our voices great so fuck capped jaws
We can't be popped, I ain't 50 Cent besides I never liked Candy Shop
And I'm not a fan of Walkin Dogs but usually we Ran these Spots
It don't matter tho...

Unfinished, due to opponent no-show...this was done hours ago, and Professor is aware of this...

what no show?
deadline aint even up yet?


downtown atlanta rappin me n my crew
fulfillin my odyssey rappin where empty places are few
flowin n spittin fire like no other
our crunk song 'ATL 4 LIFE' thumps from da subs
niggas gettin crunk me im just ready for da hot tub???
nigs start pushin each other over like chess
countless fights start to break out like bitches with issues
riotin begins its gettin crazy im fearin for my safety
security tryin to stop da riot pussy niggas feelin shakey
in an instant three loud gun shots are echoed thru da arena
time seems to stop everyone seein if this is there conclusion
the arenas population start to scatter and scramble exitin at a high application

im told by my crew members head back to the tour bus
adrealalin rushin through my body rushin to my sanctuaury the tour bus
finally through the bus door headin straight for my chrome
grabbin my chrome clappin my chrome ready to aim at a mothefukers dome
im weary my crew aint arrived im sure they were headin to this position
headin off to take a leak suddenly my teeth chatter heat is on my dome with precision
"dont move mothafuker" is utterd to me i oblige raisin my hands in the air
gun pointed at me someone snatches my heater im told to turn around
three brothers all holdin guns pointed towards me what could they want from me
im barley survivin aint got no ice on me just my fake rolex only if they cant see me
ive been taken hostage on my own tour bus can this day get any worse
"mothafuker im a stone cold killer see me i cant get no realer" is said by one of the men
strangely that quote is from my song 'KKK KILLA' have i been kidnapped by hardcore fans
"tonight is where u prove u are what u say u are" im told by the men
that song was just to stir up controversy and boost sales only if i had no pad and pen
"mac 10, start drivin the bus" is yelled to one of the hostage takers
"there is a KKK cell 10 miles from here u are gonna help us take em out, thats if u waint a faker"

what do i do im stuck between being real or what i dispise of bening a mothafuker fake
still scared for my life i say aggressively "Lets do this and show those crackers"
they start to unpack there bags heat like ive never seen before
im hypin myself gettin in that ryde of die mentality ready for war
i grab two pistols and a sniper rifle cant hold any more
we arrive at our destination we all head off da bus into da bushes
preparin our weapons and ammo a silence is upon us the final moments before our pride takes over
we separate with no real plan just "protect yo self and take as many as u can down"
i run towards the left side of the bus coverin behind a tree
lookin through the forest towards my target wishin im gonna flee
i look through the scope aim at someone draped in white and let like two go
their down for some reason im start to feel a sense of honour color of my skin has taken over me
wipe the sweat off my face and look through he scope again this time i take two out consectively
one of da brothers drops an ak behind me and says "its all or nothing now"
i pick up the assualt rifle and we begin to run towards the ranch
gun fire begins to ring out im just shootin at anything thats white
thinkin to myself this is not what i want but its they way life go's
after a couple of minutes which seemed like a few seconds from all da adrealalin
silence throught the forest lookin around seein bodies on da ground
i start runnin like never before the brothers had setup cars on da side road for escape
drop all my heat and ammo enter one of da cars and take off like im racin
i look towards da sky askin for forgiveness while im headin home
knowin tonight was da night i kept it real and this was done for all da fallen brothers

Weird….
Alright, as far as flow is concerned, I think Ayro won it because of simplicity more or less. But your structure was off. Orc, what threw me off the most was your first bar. Maybe when you say it, it rhymes better in your head, but from my perspective, I had to try very hard to make it rhyme. Ayro, your rhymes were…. Very elementary. In text, you can’t afford to come that weak. In audio, simplicity is alright. It’s something that’s even hard for me to adapt to, being used to audio. Orc, had better content but I think Ayro had better effort and tried with more creativity. However, I’ma have to go with Orc. He hit more the fundamentals and simply proved he’s more of the veteran.

Vote: Orc

.......now maybe its just me.....




but how did Orc prove that he's more of a Vet AND cover the fundamentals if he didnt cover the full topic.....???


if you can explain that a bit more than i'll let this vote slide......



:confused:

^Is it me or do you just not wanna see me in this tourney?

I key up a fuckin 10 minute verse, I display better use of everything as far as the techincal aspects of rhyming...it's basically quality over quantity B...Judging by your post I'm not even sure you bothered to read Ayro$'s verse...

Besides, if I had known Ayro$ was gonna show then I would have written a full verse...he submitted after the deadline, so he should be docked a vote...The verse I submitted was complete 9 hours b4 the deadline, Marc and Alex can vouch for that...

^Is it me or do you just not wanna see me in this tourney?

I key up a fuckin 10 minute verse, I display better use of everything as far as the techincal aspects of rhyming...it's basically quality over quantity B...Judging by your post I'm not even sure you bothered to read Ayro$'s verse...

Besides, if I had known Ayro$ was gonna show then I would have written a full verse...he submitted after the deadline, so he should be docked a vote...The verse I submitted was complete 9 hours b4 the deadline, Marc and Alex can vouch for that...



......How can there be quality if you didnt actually DO the topic.....i juss asked him to clarify his vote....because it didnt make sense to me.....

Don't cast assumptions about shit after some shit pops off that you don't like.....if you had an actual verse you should've juss POSTED it because the deadline was FAR from over......and if you want to get technical....YOU ALSO posted PAST the ACTUAL deadline.......don't start trying to bitch about shit now.....



PS....I did read Ayros's Drop.......He stayed and finished the topic..........:(

How he proved he's more of a vet:
He came maybe 20% of his effort, and outdid his opponent, going first, and not coming with a lot of lines.

How he showed he's more fundamental:
Ayro's first 4 lines, 2 bars. Fundamentally, they were not correct since the last line does not properly align with his third line.

Quote from Ayro:
nigs start pushin each other over like chess
countless fights start to break out like bitches with issues

"dont move mothafuker" is utterd to me i oblige raisin my hands in the air
gun pointed at me someone snatches my heater im told to turn around

Doesn't even rhyme.

Given, Orc doesn't have the best end rhymes at lines either, but he has a lot more and a lot of more internal rhymes, and a few multies.

Also, I don't know how to describe it, but Orc makes his look "easy". Like, when Vince Carter makes an under the leg'd dunk, he makes it look easy, whereas there are other guys who can do the same thing, but they still make it look difficult, even if it is.

I use these quotes to cite the inconsistency of Ayro.
Ayro’s word choice was utterly horrible. He shows his lack of experience – no offense, dude. There’s a lot of potential, don’t get me wrong.

I admit, the drawback of my vote is was that I didn’t address the actual topical as I should have. I addressed more of the mechanics, but I personally don’t think my voted should be excluded because of that. And anyone who views me and Orc’s posts around each other would probably realize we never post around each other to begin with. On the times that we have, it’s been constructive crit or simply talk-shit.

If you need to ask for further elaboration, feel free to. Assuming this isn’t beef between you two, I understand why you asked for further explanation.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, I must agree with the vote above me.

My vote is in favor of Orcusante.

My reasons are simple. Though he did not cover all of the subject-matter, I took that into account when judging him against Ayro$. I am of the opinion that more work needed to be done by Aryo$. I feel a degree of distress in making the decision because, I must say, Aryo$' submission had many comendable parts. Not enough commendable parts in my opinion to overide Orcusante.

I would've liked to see Jake post the entire submission though. And if he did post over the deadline, I wish not for my vote for him to stand. As that would be unfair on all members of the Tourny.

going out now,but when i get back, im voting in full

I thought that this was a decent battle. I could tell that Orc's was unfinished but it seemed alright to see as an unfinished project. He had some nice wordplay in there i feel, but i always like something which is longer. A lot of Orc's piece didn't seem to rhyme in a few parts,which i feel left the flow down really. His structure seemed to be alright though which saved it, it seemed. I could imagine being there at the concert lol.

Ayro$ i feel came more basic than Orc, and his vocabulary i feel weren't very stretched at all. Also some of his stuff didn't rhyme either, and his structure was screwed up, which fucked him up more. But what i liked about Ayro$ was second verse. I thought it didn't flow well but i was listening to it more than a story, and created a stronger image in my mind. If Orc would have finished his piece i probably would have voted for him but because Ayro$ had a full piece i feel i had to vote for him.

Vote: Ayro$

This isn't a hate vote,it's what i felt while reading, and i know it isn't Orc at his strongest point because he's a great lyricist but i wasn't reslly feelin him on this.

What The Fuck Is Going On Here?

Orc: Thought You Coulda Came A LOT Better, But It Was Decent, Considering That Your Verse Was Unfinished, And That This Battle Was Straight Up Head-Crack From The Get Go, Cuz Ayro$' Verse Was The Worst Thing I've Seen In The Tourney So Far...No Hate On Either Of You, But I Feel That Orc, You ALMOST Stooped Down To His Level...Didn't See Many Multi's, Which Is Unusual, Coming From You...Most Of Your Lines Were Too Long, And No Matter How You Try To Read It, It Doesn't Even Flow Together That Smoothly...I Know It's Not Audio, But The Whole Essence Of Hip-Hop Is To Have A Rythym...Something That You Never Established In Your Verse...A Couple Lines Could've Been Thrown Out, Though They Were Nice (i.e. The 'Candy Shop' Line And The One After It)...Overall...I've Seen Much Better From You, But You Said Yourself That This Was A 10-Minute Verse...I Guess You Lucked Out, Considering The Low Caliber Of Quality That Ayro$ Brings To The Table As Far As Topicals Are Concerned...

Ayro$: Where Do I Start...Wow...For One, Work On EVERYTHING. Like Mostly Everyone Else Said...More Than A Few Lines Didn't Rhyme, But Hey...Maybe You Did It Like That On Purpose, B/C I Know Of Some Rappers Who Rhyme Two Lines, Fall Back On The Third, And Tie The Fourth Line In To The First Two, Namean?...Save That For Audio, B/C When It Comes To Text, It Must Rhyme...Word Usage Was Pre-K...'Nuff Said...And Just Overall I Believe You Need To Elevate, No Hate But Uh...Yeah...Anyway, If Orc Woulda Fucked Up Just A Liiiiiiiiiiiiiil Bit More, You Might've Took This One, But My Vote Goes To:

Orcusante

lol...I'm going to try for the rest of this tournament...3-1...