Rules:
Everyone should know the basic rules. No bitching or fighting in the threads. Or shit talking. 1st offense results in 1 docked vote, 2nd offense results in dq. Everyone must vote on atleast 1 other topical or you will be docked a vote.
How to win:
If your opponent no shows, (IF YOU NO SHOW YOU WILL BANNED FROM ALL FUTURE TOPICAL EVENTS)
or 3-0 Ko or a 4-1 ko or a first to 5. If a vote is placed as a tie each will get 1 vote a piece. and if it goes to 5-5 i will be the deciding vote or xkwisite. If you have a problem with a vote pm me and i will discuss it with xkwisite.
Length: Up to 60 lines

Have fun and enjoy.

Topic: You found out you won a drawing to be on the next NASA shuttle to go on a voyage around MARS then back to EARTH. During the orbit you encounter some sort of complications. Explain what the complications are, what caused it and the outcome. You can use up to 20 lines of dialogue...no more. And feel free to expand a little more on the topic if you feel its necessary.


Deadline: Check in by Sunday May 29th by 11:59 pm EST
Verses due Monday May 30thth by 11:59 pm EST
Only have 12 hours leway time (docked 1 vote) Anything over you lose a vote. (This only applies for when verses are due not check in.)

If this intrudes w/ plans for the holiday weekend let me know in ?'s or concerns and we can talk about arangements...

Check one Check two....g'luck Ike

Check... yeh g'luck.

John: Deep Sky Blue
Alien: Dark Red
Me: Black

*Phone Rings*

Arminius: Hello...
Mary (From NASA): May I speak to Arminius?
Arminius: Speaking
Mary: Hello this is Mary from NASA and I was calling to inform you that you won the drawing for the NASA shuttle trip around Mars on June 1 of 2005. Congradulations!
Arminuis: Thanks but wasnt there sumpin on the news about the the voyage being cancelled....Something about problems with the shuttle???
Mary: Yes, the media ran a story about the shuttles rockets not workin properly, but we here at NASA have fixed the problem and are ready for a beautiful and enlighting trip around Mars. I'm sure you'll enjoy it. You know not too many astronauts get his opportunity let alone regular citizens...
Arminius: Yea your right...You know I've never won anything so this comes as a BIG surprise.
Mary: Well sir let me just say this. You will definitly enjoy the trip...It'll be the trip of a life time!
Arminius: Yea you gotta point....Well I'll be there on the first thanks for the callin and lettin me know....

Who woulda known, that when I left home Id enter a mental panic zone
I left alone, work I postponed, thinkin about space and its black ozone
Entered NASA, I looked around, so caught up my mind was confound
I let out a sigh dark & profound, I saw nuthin but shuttles that seemed to surround
Mary walked up and said hello, then my thoughts quickly began to grow
Suddenly my emotions began to show, it was a gift that had been bestowed
Introduced me to the crew, panicing, my thoughts I tried so hard to subdue
This was my official debut, I wish I woulda knew what I was gettin myself into
Prepared me with my suit, our mission was to go to Mars on a certain a pursuit
Strapped up my white and red boots, looked back at the flag gave a quick salute
Reporters outside snappin mad pics, my eyes displayed a certain transfix
Mind wonderin about conflicts, my soul predicts, like picasso my face depicts
God predicts my fate, so I await and try to relate so my soul will sedate
Keep my face straight, irregular heart rate, scarred state got me actin far from great
Entered the shuttle strapped myself in, fear begins, vision blurred, shuttle spins
Subtle thoughts bubblin within, mentally I hear the violin, time begins wearin thin
Shuttle begins to shake, was this a mistake, maybe its a dream and I'll awake
The scheme was to partake in a date with fate rumblin rockets begin to shake
Eye sockets barely holdin eyes, thinkin bout final goodbyes and a possible demise
Arise to the heavenly skies, quickly I began to despise, astronauts try to advise
Finally my emotions fell, the shuttle quickly began to impel and then excel
It was easy to tell, that I wouldnt continue to dwell, skin color normal no longer pastel
Feelin stronger starin into space, bad thoughts are erased then quickly replaced
No longer a bad taste this trip I embraced, body encased, my fears were displaced
Approched Mars orbital zone, "Enterin Mars" heard thru my NASA headphones
Looked out seen its hotzone, a lil fear was shown, dreams showed this was foreknown
Amazed with Mars mystique, this was a sneak peak, so intrigued I couldnt speak
Fatigued but bewildered it was so unique, felt weak but still intrigued by its physique
My visor reflectin the black space, a straight face, lil by lil my heart began to race
Like fine art, my soul felt grace, this trip I began to embrace and not feel like a disgrace

Mary: Voyager 6 please come in....
John: This is Voyager 6 continue Mary...
Mary: Is everything running smoothly?
John: So far so good....No problems yet...
Mary: Ok and how is Arminius doing?
John: Arminius is enjoying his trip and
*EXPLOSION*
Mary: Hello? John are you there? Can you hear me?
John: Mary we are starting to experience some problems...There was an explosion...We are gonna be forced to land on Mars and see what the problem is...
Mary: Ok well remember that we still do not know much about Mars...So try to figure out the problem and solve it as quickly as possible...Keep in contact every 15 mins...
John: Will do Mary.
*Intercom*
John: We are making an emergency stop on Mars to try and correct the problem...Everyone just sit tight....

Fears start rushin my mind, its like thoughts rewind, strapped in and confined
Trapped and entwined, a GIANT step for mankind, emotions faster than ever wind
Touchin down on Mars motherland, fates in the lords hand, I'm tryin to understand
Cryin on the inside, Johns tryin to command, was this planned? thoughts expand
He exits the ship, was this really worth the trip? I'm still tryin to obtain a grip
Explain deep down Im beginning to flip, "Arminius I need help" my suit I zip and equip
Shocked at the color of Mars, glanced at the stars, light headed like smoke from cigars
I choke, like victims sufferin from sars, music in my mind jammin I hear Hendrix guitars
John fixin the rockets Im shocked and amazed, confused, crazed and derranged
Dazed from the events, the moons were phased, walkin on air my feet were raised
Amazed at the beauty the planet displayed, quicker than a blade, on a crusade
Feelin betrayed, I prayed while I evade, I hear "The humans decided to finally invade"
Approachin John I see lasers shot, stomach tied in a knot, "Humans are officially caught"
Initially this wasnt our plot, its dark and hell is hot, "You Americans will officially rot!"
Scared and shakin, "Your souls are ours for the takin!" felt like my life I was forsakin
But I have a wife, deep down my emotions were achin and so quickly they were breakin
Sickely these aliens had a plan, tried to understand, face cold like it was blown from a fan
An Unknown slow death began, my mind they started to scan, "We're takin your entire life span"
Pleadin for my life and rest of the crew, this was brand new, "Humans is what we pursue"
"Your life is overdue!" emotions boucin like a kangaroo, all these events seemed too taboo
Crew rushed out tryin to figure out, everyone wonderin what the hell this was all about
Final farwell, as astronauts on our final route, Sarah begins to pout, we're dyin theres no doubt
Alien begins to kill every last one, terror begun, and we knew we we're officially outdone
"Earth will finally be done!" like a ton of boulders alien said "Your worlds done, and we won"
"Pluto hit the switch, I'll finish Arminius and throw him in the ditch" Wait! there was a glitch
Fate I'm askin for a wish, body muscles began to flinch, "Save yourself by being a snitch!"
"Why are you here answer that question" he asked with aggression, so I gave a confession
This was my dream a future profession, I guess you can call it an astornauts obsession
He stated I was in the wrong, sang a prayer in song and said "Earth is where you belong"
His friend came along, "Arminius your long gone, see you when I get there for now so long"

11:30 here.... yeah.


TOTAL RECALL


"NASA is happy to announce the first civilians ever to reach Mars to do research for potential living space."


A voyage, a journey, won by a cheap shot of fate,
Dropped weight in gravity, watch as the hunk of metal elevates,
Shots locked, no one talks in the midst of watchin' the tick tock,
4 of us, buckles popped *click* straps locked, set for launch off,

5...4...3...2...1

Take off.

Suddenly, breath leaves my chest, back pressed
Against the seat, nothin left to see, except
The blur of air in the window, crashing the stratosphere,
Passing through air, lashing past the atmosphere,
Visually, the blue skies blur with a whir of haze,
Turning black almost instant as we spur into space,
And then the speed flatlines, leveling off within the blackness,
Surrounded by stars, who'd ever think we'd get past it,
"We're going to Mars" someone shouts in excitement,
"Here's the coordinates", I get the honor of typin it.


Hook:
Pioneers in a pendulum surrounded by the galaxy
Every star holds a dream, shooting graciously or savagely,
Faithfully we revolutionize the so-called revolution,
Put it in perspective - the universe is the walls of the solution

...and you see, it was a beauty, a crimson orb in constant spin,
"Tell me when," Jeff says, motion sick, not meaning to offend,
Out the window - a gaze, most Americans never get to see up close,
'This is space... such a waste of dreams we let coast,'
As we approach, it's like a ghost, a gust grabs as by the head,
Sucked in, it's suddenly what we all dread...
In the muteness of the chaos, Victoria mutters... "We're all dead",
"Put your gear on!" I yell trying to ignore what Vic just said,
But I can't deny, it feels she might damn, that might truth,
As the rocket pushes down to Mars, bodies slam against the roof,
Due to velocity, the thrust of a chair was staked through Jeff,
The sight of floating blood, I swear, slow motion death,


"We're crashing!"

So we land, as dust explodes beneath the ship,
Get out, stand, gear equipped, and bodies ease at lift,
Then something over the radio in pockets I didn't know,
"Alright, Mitch. You're off the rocket, so here you go,"
I turn around, behind my mates, the door just locks,
"What the fuck?!" I shout, but in response: "You get 1 shot"
Everyone looks at their radios, speechless held in shock,
"Explanation? You're on Mars, now survive it or hell if you just rot,"
As it would turn out, the situation was a scandal, a fuckin scam,
So hard to handle, heavy breaths, while others cave in to bein damned,
I'm a man I know, but suddenly I have no faith for where we stand.
Into the sand, angered, vainly my fists slam,

"Mr. Mitchell. You and your crew mates were carefully selected to test a project. There is currently a… well, some sort of species. You were sent there to test their reaction before we send actual Nasa personel"


Now, it's war on a planet no one truthfully knows,
And as fate would have it, yeah, Mars really blows,
Rich's got gun, finger at the trigger, barrel at his head,
One second you know a brother, next you know he's dead,
The sound of the bang is lost in the dust pushed against the wind,
Trying to adjust with my friends, "It's gonna be tough, but Craig we gotta defend."
Hopeless, dwelling in our fears and the crunch of metal rattles in our ears,
Heads turn, as the shuttle sinks faster than our tears,
The sand forms chains around my ankles, pullin' at my feet,
Legs weak, Craig's hand almost within reach,
Victoria is lost, my fingers grasping for Craig's grip,
"If this is God's plan, Rapture best be rapin' Earth's shit!"
Out of the quicksand, tryin' get stable from the climb
"Yeah, when we get back, you're buyin me a beer this time."

Hook:
Pioneers in a pendulum surrounded by the galaxy
Every star holds a dream, shooting graciously or savagely,
Faithfully we revolutionize the so-called revolution,
Put it in perspective - the universe is the walls of the solution

A rumble shook our feet, forced to step back,
Then a swarm of God-knows-what, turned crimson skies to black,
Turn around to sprint, it's obvious it's just too late,
No sense in being vain, so together we turn around and wait for Fate,
Raised as soldiers, we hold our head up to the war,
Bugs attach to skin, I see Craig alive and dead into his core,
It's sick, I see his heart bare and still beating,
Sickest thing of all, my eyelids are gone, so I stare at the constant bleeding.

Radio: Our observance is done.

Don't everyone vote at once. :rollseyes:

i will edit this post with a vote either tonite or tomorrow afternoon when i have the time

Intro: Arminius, better set up i liked the dialogue to set it up so he didn't waste bars on it.

Line Length: Ike..much better this time around, easier to flow, Arm you did what Ike did last round.

Flow: Ike, b.c of reason stated above.

Multis: Arminius...both of you lacked greatly in this area to be, but i fealt Arms were better.

Vocab: Tie, both used alot of nice descriptive vocab which helped the imagery

Imagery: That goes to Ike, that last verse you had was great, the whole thing is quotable...

Depth: I like the depth of Arm, Ike was pretty nice, but it seemed like u were jumpy to me...Arm gave a nice set up through out the whole verse...

Ending: Ike..Arm..u gave me the ideal ending..'happy ending' fuck happy endings thats too predictable... Ike's was nice..i would expect ur ending too, but not how u ended it...so thats why it stuck out to me..

Originality: Ike...i didnt expect anyone to be a test in it...that was creative to meso in the next cata

Creativety: Ike u win this too...i liked your angle on this drop


My vote Ike...pretty nice battle from u 2..but arm u tried to say too much in ur lines..let em go long...and i fealt Ike's was a little more solid...

.....As prof said this battle was nice......Ike did better with his line length without losing depth and Arm didnt waste too much time getting into the main imaginary bulk of his verse...so it was semi-hard to decide on....mainly because both imo didnt really have "original" concepts....so it was difficult to be able to pick a concise winner based on that......delivery wise...Arm was good in deliverying the depth and creativity that i like......but so was Ike.........Multis i dont really count in topicals so i just ignored that.....what i was looking at here was story and deliverying the topic.......Imo......Ike barely edged it only because i felt that in Arm's he actually lived through all that he had been through.....but at the same time it was a bit "overly done" on an attempt at a topic that was un-creative in the first place.....Ike's was a bit more creative only with the way he had included some original parts.....(the test concept)....all in all though.....this was closer than i thought it would be........but on some parts....a bit disappointing.....


Vote-Ike....

Bernard and myself decided to have this go to Ike-One due to no one voting...congrats ike.