The Obscured
06-05-2005, 08:03 PM
The following is a letter from Mr Pee-pee;
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I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I don't get paid overtime.
I work in high temperatures.
I work in a damp environment.
I plunge head first into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
You sometimes leave your designated work before you have completed the assigned task.
You do not take initiative; you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags.
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I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I don't get paid overtime.
I work in high temperatures.
I work in a damp environment.
I plunge head first into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
You sometimes leave your designated work before you have completed the assigned task.
You do not take initiative; you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags.