This is an older piece I just found. Its incomplete, and I dont intend to finish it. I'm looking for feedback, most of all. I've been working on short stories and creative writing and I'd like to know what I'm doing good on, and the areas that I need to improve on. I'd really appreciate it. This is a Danijela exclusive..Enjoy.


It’s just me and him now. We’ve been there for each other for longer then I imagined possible.. He’s been right beside me right when I needed him. Those kind of things come priceless. I feel his pain as his heart shatters. I can’t say much that will change his situation but I can give him hope for the future. . .

The room is dim. Shadows of the night surround the two bodies. But even then he can see my eyes glow as I look up at him, so innocently. The expression on his face touched my heart. Such strong temptation towards him but I find myself in confusion. Maybe what I’m thinking is wrong. Maybe he doesn’t feel it too. Maybe I should step away. Maybe not...

I step closer towards him now. I lift my hand up to his chin and lift his face to meet mine, and there was a sudden smile on both of our faces. He’s always been one to tell me to smile, no matter what. For a second I forgot about the world, about the circumstance we find ourselves in and I press my lips against his.

I don’t want to explain tonight all the things I’ve tried to hide. He made me feel like I didn’t have to. It’s said best when it’s left unsaid. His lips felt warm against mine. They sent a strong beat to my heart and I felt good. I got shivers down my back as I felt his fingertips slide down to the curves of my body. I was going weak.

He brought me closer to him and our bodies met. I put my arms around him and he lifted me up as I wrapped my legs around his waist. We were only a couple steps away from the bed that was about to be blessed with our passion.

In the heat of the night we become one. Two souls craving eachother. I hope this night never ends.

*Incomplete*

Hmmm... Doesn't seem as deep as the rest of your writing, but it's still a good one... Kind of in a cute sense... I thought I may have known who you were speaking of, but I didn't want to make any wrong assumptions... I don't really like the format of it, maybe that's why it seems so different....


Did you finish writing that thing we were supposed to collab on..

And we learn to never make assumptions..

Anyway,

Funny you ask about that written. I was just working on it. Its SO CUTE. I havent read it since I wrote it and I went back and I was like AW. I'll have it done soon and I'll give it to you. I see you have other collabs and battles to do, so theres no rush on it.

Mwa

It's actually quite well written. The mechanics of the writing are good. I say this notwithstanding the ocassional moment when the tense changes mid-sentence. It has all the elements of a full-story even though it is "incomplete".

After writing myself for a little bit of time, I realise you do it so much better than I could.

Keep writing forever. Talk to you later.

Thank you very much Eugene.