Rules:
3-0 KO, 4-1 TKO, 1st to 5 Or Whoever Has The Most Votes By End Of Voting Period. Mods Will Discuss Tie Breaker.
NO Hate Votes, DR/CR Votes, Swaying, Feeding, Biting, Recycling Like Vex, No Beef Or Freeposting In Threads.
Vote On A MINIMUM Of 3 Battles.
40 Lines Max, Hook & Dialogue Not Included Against Line Max.

Deadlines Are Midnight EST, 0-2 Hours Over = Free Bee. 2-12 Hours Over = 1 Docked Vote. 12-24 Hours = 2 Docked Votes. Anything Over 24 Hours Is DQ. Some Don' Like This Rule. Well Tough Shit, Don't Procrastinate & If You Show Up On Time Then You Won't Lose Votes.
Extensions Will Be Granted Under Extreme Circumstances As Long As You Let Us Know In Time. The Day Before & Day Of Won't Cut It.

Voting Will Be As Followed: EXPLAINED
On Topic:
Depth:
Imagery:
Originality:
Flow:
Multis:
Enjoyment:
Vocab:

Overall:


Topic:
The Accident... this is your topic, write it as you will.

Checkin in.

G'luck Bus...

checkin in

good luck bro...

Anything with this -> ** means it's backwards

Turning the Hands of Time...
Me: Wheat
Other: White

Exitin the car door, slowly walkin back up to the front door
Down on my knees when the pistol comes back to me off the floor
Guns go back in holsters while cops rewind the corner to the station
See the cops we're rewinding back to their original location
Meanwhile the guns jammed up with the barrel between my jaw
Quickly but surely the handgun is being removed and withdrawn
The tear moves from my cheek straight back up to my eye
Points the piece at the one on the right screamin "begone and die" **
Takes a step to the left while the anger turns to grief
Bullet exits her stomach returns to the barrel I'm in disbelief
She stutters her words all I could hear was "wait dont please" **
Right before that ony thing rushin my mind is death comes in threes
The male moves quickly from the window pane back to the couch
My eyes decieving me I cant believe another mans in my house
Girl rewinds back to where she was sittin rubbin her pregnant pouch
The smoke from his cigar rolls back as he moves it from his mouth
Anger goes back to frustration while the gun moves back to my coat
Saliva rushes back up to my mouth while I'm left with a dry throat
Step backwards thru the door it closes and my key leaves the lock
Rewind past a couple of blocks while the hands reverse on the clock
Mumblin thoughts as I'm backin my way back to the bus stop
Lookin past the window displayin her dream wedding ring in the shop
Hopped back on the bus drivin in reverse to the assembly plant
Replayin the earlier argument all I can hear is her neverending rant
Before this the fiance called work to let me know my brother transpired
Exit the bus returnin back to a heated debate ending with "ya fired"
Boss backtracks to the garage while the needle exits my vein
Stress reversin over the pregnancy its blowin up in my brain
Return to the assembly line while the cars travel in reverse
Put the timesheet back on the wall while I rewind and converse
Walkin backwards in the snow for 2.5 miles back to my place
Tryin to brace the wind but its blowin and frostin my face
Door slams open than shut fiance screamin my heart beatin
Retreat to the bedroom while thoughts rewind of her cheatin
Pistol removed from pants check clip thers just one shot
Phone to ear "Your brother might be alive" stomach loosens the knots
Phone back on reciever as I go back to get some sleep
Slowly the hands of the clock go back and begin to creep

So is Bus not showin?

arm, bus had some personal issues w. his girls father passing away, and kron didnt mention it to me, i just found out about it, bus is asking if he can still drop, he's gonna PM me the verse, but its ur call on what u want to do
and yes there will be 2 docked votes

I know what its like to have personal issues pop up like that. So its all good.:)

just keyed the other half thanks marc and arminus...

The Book of Life Chapter 4

Tom and Mary

Accidental Love

NOW

Come enter into the brilliance and vision of their yesterday
We’ve all seen the relevance and experienced better days
It was mid summer an intense day of heat, emotion, and pain
In this life most people won’t ever be able to stand the rain
A new edition into their book of life together for four years
The tribulations they faced in the war of love left more tears
Of pain and joy but their love could withstand the test of time
Living in a small town in Texas, man they let their love shine
Through and whenever they were together they lived every day
Like it was the last. He was surprised when he heard Mary say
I’ve really been wondering. What can you see in your future?
He hesitated for a few seconds and said what’s in your future?
She looked him right in the eyes and said I’m serious you first
He wasn’t answering she said my mother told me the truth hurts
He grabbed her and then said all I’ve ever been able to see is you
You’re my future, past, and present wait I think I can see a kid to
She quickly smiled a smile one like he had never ever seen before
Girl we’re always going to be together forever I promise. He swore
She gave him a kiss opened the car door and then she stepped out
He said Hey baby what you see in your future? It’s been left out
She said I love you smiled and then she turned and she went inside
I skip ahead a few months into a class room as Mary’s pen slides
She breaks down whenever she looks over and the desk is empty
She runs out the pain is unbearable and her inner sorrow is plenty
He’d predicted the future she was pregnant realize what he said
The future was foreseen and it is tragic because now he’s dead
He left her house a drunk driver crossed over they struck head on
They said it was an accident we’re sorry, but he’s dead and gone
He’s went home she said it’s not an accident I’d never told him
He was my future I took him for granted now I can’t hold him
Accidents happen well I need forgiveness regretfully she told
40 years later a young man plants flowers at the side of the road
Tears stream from an elderly lady’s as she sits in a wheelchair
Breaths can be heard it’s like there’s complete silence still air
A white dove flies over and lands on the cross man it’s real clear
Mary smiles “he didn’t break the promise grandson he’s still here”

Fades out

*subscribed* Can't dedicate enough of my concentration to this right now cuz I'm at work.... But I will vote on this as long as it still needs votes. (Probably late tonight)

On Topic: Both... when topics are vague like this, you can really go anywhere with it.
Depth: Bus... He brought his reader more into it, a little more emotion with this one.
Imagery: Arminius... I saw it all playing out vividly (in rewind-mode) Bus' was there, just not quite as strong.
Originality: Arminius. Never saw something like an "accident in reverse" comin.
Flow: This one was real close... Bus took it by a little bit tho.
Multis: Neither really had many that stood out to me as "wow"... Tie
Enjoyment: Arminius... Kept my attention and wanting to what was happening next.
Vocab: Tie. Both brought some good vocab to this. Reread over to see if either really stood out as better than the other, and couldn't decide.

Overall: Arminius.


I enjoyed both verses, honestly, however Arminius' was just more captivating. The rewind idea was really good. Bus, I like how you ended yours tho, "It wasn't a broken promise"... In yours it was more emotionally touching, also a good quality.


Nice Battle, you two...
Stay Forever Elevating...

Voting on this will end tonight, so please can we get some more votes to avoid somebody winning by only one vote

On Topic: tied... both went their way with it...
Depth: Busta... more emotion and power in his wording, i felt...
Imagery: tied... both had their ups and downs...
Originality: tied... basically, after reading the "wait don't please" line, it reminded me too much of Nas' Stillmatic story in reverse... that sentence triggered it for me and throughout this whole voting process, i kept thinking on that Nas song...
Flow: Busta... better flow overall, stood out more and really rolled off the tongue...
Multis: tied... nothing spectacular...
Enjoyment: tied... both had thier ups and downs...
Vocab: Arminius... superior word choice, in my opinion...

Overall: Busta... his depth and flow outweighed Arminius' vocab... ive read both pieces three times now and in my mind its really close... but i think Busta just brought more emotion and raw energy to his piece... perheps its just me, but the Nas song really brought down Arminius' piece even if there was no relation b/c is wasn't too original in my mind anymore...

good battle...

Ill get to this in a lil bit

On Topic: Even Steven
Depth: Bus
Imagery: At first i was gunna say bus, but readin again ima say Even
Originality: Even Steven
Flow: Bus.. flowed nice imo
Multis: Bus
Enjoyment: Even Steven
Vocab: Arminius

Vote: Busterhymen

Reason: Dont let the score card fool you, this was much closer then ppl realise...both had nice imagery, originality about there piece as well as depth...but i just felts bus's more..he's flow n imagery just edged it for him imo...good battle though lads...especially arminius, very nicely written piece mate..pz

On Topic: Arminius (very close)
Depth: BusterHymen (nice)
Imagery: Arminius
Originality: Tie
Flow: Arminius
Multis: None really, so even on that.
Enjoyment: Arminius
Vocab: Arminius

Overall: Arminius takes this for me because his verse stood out more for me and caught my eye better. BusterHymen, your drop was really good however but in my opinion yours was hard to follow and flow with. Your imagery wasn't great in my point of view. Slightly off topic at some point as well. Both had very good vocab though but I gave it to Arminius.

Good battle though, no hate either.

Arminius
Anger goes back to frustration while the gun moves back to my coat
Saliva rushes back up to my mouth while I'm left with a dry throat
Step backwards thru the door it closes and my key leaves the lock
Rewind past a couple of blocks while the hands reverse on the clock

^Those bars was decent.

Arminius advances to the next round

last word/

Kron let me have the last word...




wub u

Never!