Rules:
3-0 KO, 4-1 TKO, 1st to 5 Or Whoever Has The Most Votes By End Of Voting Period. Mods Will Discuss Tie Breaker.
NO Hate Votes, DR/CR Votes, Swaying, Feeding, Biting, Recycling Like Vex, No Beef Or Freeposting In Threads.
Vote On A MINIMUM Of 2 Battles.
40 Lines Max, Hook & Dialogue Not Included Against Line Limit

Deadlines Are Midnight EST, 0-2 Hours Over = Free Bee. 2-12 Hours Over = 1 Docked Vote. 12-24 Hours = 2 Docked Votes. Anything Over 24 Hours Is DQ. Some Don' Like This Rule. Well Tough Shit, Don't Procrastinate & If You Show Up On Time Then You Won't Lose Votes.
Extensions Will Be Granted Under Extreme Circumstances As Long As You Let Us Know In Time. The Day Before & Day Of Won't Cut It.

Voting Will Be As Follows: EXPLAINED
On Topic:
Depth:
Imagery:
Originality:
Flow:
Multis:
Enjoyment:
Vocab:

Overall:

Topic: You stay late at work one night with another co-worker, who you know had an affair with your wife, but you haven't had the guts to confront him yet. A fire suddenly breaks out, and all escape routes seem blocked
Do you get out? How? What happens to the other guy?

Check In By: Friday 10th March
Verses Due: Sunday 12th March

BOO YA!..

School strikes are great..:)..
I got all day to write mwahahah

Goodluck aaron mate,





and cheers to kron for making an ill topic!!

u can do any ammount u want

but anything over 40 results in docked votes

*Nick Darcy was a happily married man of 7 years. Never one to argue or put up a fuss was a local of the community that everybody loved. Just a humble factory worker. Lately he had been noticing a drift in his marrage at first he thought it was because of his increase hours at the factory, it turned out to be worse…*

They say for adultery, Infidelity, every person pays there price
But for me a marriage is sacred, never one to betray his wife
So when I discovered her deceit? My heart broke n fists clenched
Reading her text messages, it was Trent’s place that bitch went
Late nights at work? Nah that bitch was out fucking my boss
What do I say? A line was more then something he crossed
Thoughts jumping and lost, to a point where I just gave up
Married happily for 7 years… How could she betray love?

Having to catch up on some unfinished work, Nick stays back late completing the orders needed for the next day. He realized he was left alone with his boss Trent. Every second Nick was thinking about it. It was eating away at him. Memories, Vision’s, all captivating his mind as he stared at Trent moving large gas cylinders at the Front of the room. A deaf silence filled the large Office*

Our eyes drew paths and my mind shuffled with thoughts
My heart wanted his blood, my brain scuffled and fought
But to come up short, put my head back down an ignore
And pretended I knew nothing…until I sounded assured

*A large Explosion comes from the front of the room*

At that second time froze, ground shook, a scream heard
A wave of flames filled the aisle, instantly seemed burnt
Covering my face, I sprinted to the back were Trent laid
Lifeless with wrist maimed, with flames to prevent save
Trent on my shoulder, I searched for the closest refuge
Aisle to aisle, protecting lungs from smoke filled deluge
Finding a place, I hid Trent inside a large filing cabinet
With the fire spreading, the place for safe hiding, absent
Frantically I looked for an escape, searching for broke
I felt my back legs give way, n a hand firm on my throat
Breath shortened and choked, until I finally broke free
I turned to see Trent with a blunt pole standing ova me
At first I was shocked, now the puzzle finally made sense
He wanted my wife to himself, while timing my absence

The Fire had now created a smoke infested battlefield. Trent’s plan to murder Nick hadn’t panned out the way he thought it would. The explosion left large smoldering pieces of debris started falling from the roof and walls. Leaving the two men to fight to survive.

Trent swung recklessly, with each swing aimed to kill
With the stare of n animal, no cage to contain him still
I limped through the haze, picked up a piece of 2 by 4
Hid behind a shelf, swung at his head, body hit the floor
He took a shot at my legs; I swung straight at his head
The blow struck his chin, laid him flat like he was dead
I finally saw daylight; the fire had created a small door
I dragged Trent with me, across the heated floor boards
We reached the exit…I threw Trent over my shoulders
But right then, the devil put his hand ova my shoulders
Reminded me of Trent’s harm, and the pain he caused
With a last ounce of energy, threw his body back mauled
With the look on his eyes and the sound of his screams
Still to this day…haunting me throughout my dreams

* After the death of Trent Moore a private investigation was held into the incident. Some 8 months of court hearings Nick Darcy was finally charged with the murder of Trent Moore and was to serve a 10 year sentence. Shortly after the verdict his wife filed for divorce. No longer is Sin and Karma said with such profanity*

Im gonna have to take the two docked votes..:(

Due to getting retardedly drunk in the afternoon :(

Happy with life?..5 years Ive been workin the same desk job
Another late night that takes life until I sit and let my stress off
Ive been messed through the best..but tonights worse
I heard those words from my wife, burning my life; that knife burns..

*Remembers the night before in bed*..

"I cheated" she said..I couldnt stand the words
Told her this was till death that was the only plan to work
I pushed myself outta bed, started packing my shit
She said she loved this other man, n' was havin' his kid
I started laughin at the bitch she was a waste of my time
Caught up in feelin's I didnt want but I was pacin' in lies
What I hated was right..this broken heart I can mend
But heartless Ive spent, days with this haunted expense..
..I walked back up to the room, got the rest of my things
Thinkin suicidal thoughts, an inner sanctum that heaven could bring
Wreckless, Id drink..before I left I said who did you fuck?
She said Jeff from your work...with these words I could truely combust.

*Wakes up from day dream, noticing Jeff across the way in another desk*

I ruffle my papers, my eyes burn from tears I never shed
This confrontation is so odd I felt so weiry in that bed
..I stood up from my desk, walked toward Jeff, cause we needed to talk
I wasnt good with math but figured this could even my loss
Approached with my head high, he held lies but Ive been holdin em too
"Jeff we need to speak, I know you slept with Joyce n it poisoned me dude
But Ive been controllin' the truth, kept some lies from my past
A demon I never wanted, something Ive been hidin in the trash..
..when I was 18, in a one night fling I contracted a disease
Doc said Id be okay, but with HIV the havoc never seized
Even with passion I would grieve, but I found love in my Joyce
Never told her of my pains even if I felt that trust in her voice...
You've took that safety from me, but it fits so plainly and true
That I gave my disease to Joyce, now she gave it to you"..

*Fire blazes out wildly near my desk..I look at it and shrug it off, knowing
that I started it, the lighter in my back pocket is still warm. I continued talking to Jeff as he sat in his chair, thinking of what he could do..but he said nothing.*

"Ive got nothin to live for, my lifes broken in dirt..
I didnt mean you pain Jeff but inside I was hopin for hurt"
Hopeless we'd burn, and outside the sirens they rang
The flames were overwhelming and Jeff was hiding his pain
I sat back in a chair, havoc was passing through both of our minds
But I didnt care, my lifes been about all my hopes that would die
"Well..here we are on the sixth floor, and heavens soundin great
I can sit and burn slow, Id suggest you do the same"..

*The fire eventually burned the whole building down and both men were later
found in the morning..bodies burnt to a crisp..barely recognizable. The crime scene smelt of suicide, but no one understood, both men had nothing wrong with their lives..or so they thought *

On Topic: Tie, both of them did exactly what it said on the tin
Depth: Gunna have to say Fix, his peice just seemed darker, i learned more about Fix's main charcter than i did about E.Z's
Imagery: Tie, both came nice, i particularly liked Fix's with these words I could truely combust.
But both you were nice imagery wise
Originality: Fix, the AID's take was awesome, EZ just wrote exactly what the topic said without taking it in any unexpected direction
Flow: Tie, both of them flowed nice, EZ had better structure but if you read Fix's out then it flowed fine
Multis: Tie, both of them had nice multis, consistent good match up's
Enjoyment: Fix, based purely on his more exciting story
Vocab: Tie, both of you had pretty nice vocab, could be improved but not really much of an issue

Overall: Closer battle than the break down suggests but i vote Fix, purely because i felt he took the topic and made it really interesting, the AID's twist was a cool addition to the topic and just made me wanna read it more.

EZ: Really liked your peice. It flowed eddortlessly throughout and was well written. Also liked the bit where Trent was beating Nick, that was a nice little twist to it.

Fix: Nice verse... nice twist to it with the HIV thing.

On Topic: Tie... both came nice.
Depth: Fix, I think. Its like Imp said, you could just feel Fix's character a bit more, prolly because of the conversation between him and the wife and you could see how it affected him
Imagery: Tie..
Originality: Fix... AIDs thing was totally unexpected. Real nice..
Flow: EZ... just flowed better for me..
Multis: Tie.. both had multies throughout, carried them nicely and werent overly forced
Enjoyment: Fix..
Vocab: Tie

Overall: This was a really nice battle... I think it would have been dead even if Fix's verse didnt have that AIDS twist to it. Its what won it for him for me.. but dope battle and props to both..

On topic-Both
Imagery-Both... Not too much of a greatly developed imagery
Depth-Fix slightly... work on this a lil more guys.
Originality- Fix by a long shot, the aid's twist was nasty, E.Z's originality went just to the topic given with nothing else extraordinary
Vocab- EZ murdered vocab, Fix's was just more proper... EZ pulled this catergory with the big words and his multis.
Multis- Tie
Flow- Slightly EZ
Enjoyment-Slightly Fix...

Overall: Fix's aids twist and the idea that his was more tradition as oppose to keeping the vocab somewhat basic but proper. That did that battle... It was a good battle tho. Without the twist I wouldn't be able to consider a winner.

On Topic: Tie - Both did what was required
Depth: Fix - Felt both went into sufficient detail into how each was betrayed and by whom, but felt Fix took it a step further with the daydream/flashback and the conversational style
Imagery: Tie - Nothing really stood out for me as being really detailed. I knew what was happening in each story, but the detail wasn't really there
Originality: Fix - As mentioned before, the AIDS twist was really nice and unexpected. Nice out the box thinking
Flow: E.Z - Fix's strayed somewhat at times which put me off. Didn't have a problem with E.Z's, nice and consistent
Multis: Tie - I thought Fix would take this, but EZ incorporated some nice multis as well. Both used them when appropriate, nice job
Enjoyment: E.Z - Tough decision this one. Fix had the originality with the AIDS twist, but I felt E.Z's late twist with the devil influence swung it for me. Fix's twist was in the middle, and you could guess the ending, but E.Z's was heart warming until right near the end, which was a nice surprise
Vocab: Tie - Relevant use from both, nothing spectacular

Overall: The categories are tied for me, but a few other things caught my eye. Fix's verse was mad original with the AIDS twist. It was outside the box thinking and gave him an upper hand. The only thing I found wrong with this is the fact that it came mid verse. I feel that the most powerful/thought provoking event in your piece has to come right near the end, so the reader is still thinking about it when he/she has finished reading. E.Z did that with the last ditch decision to leave Trent to die. After Fix laid his bombshell, I found myself simply waiting for the story to end, which also seemed to happen a bit 'all of a sudden'. I know it may be a petty thing, but I don't want to vote tie, and that's the only thing I could really say seperated you two. So....

Vote = ..E.Z..

Great battle you two, really nice verses from both. One of the closest battles I've had to call in a long time

I'm gonna get on this when I get home from work.:)

On Topic: Tie, both were on point here
Depth: Fix...Both went into depth but I felt Fix had a grimey feel to his
Imagery: Tie
Originality: Fix, the HIV is what got Fix this one in my book
Flow: EZ, some of Fix's lines seemed a little long. Kinda put off the flow IMO
Multis: Tie, both of ya had 'em and I didn't see a flaw in either of 'em
Enjoyment: Fix, because I just felt his story was more captivating
Vocab: Tie

Overall: Fix
Mainly because of the HIV issue was more of a spontaneous direction on the story. Also I thought the way he ended it was nice...
"Well..here we are on the sixth floor, and heavens soundin great
I can sit and burn slow, Id suggest you do the same"..
I'm not taking anything away from EZ though. IMO the battle was closer than what the tallies are...Good battle to the both of ya guys...

Stay Healthy

Ooooo Nice topic.. props to whoever came up with this one... Anyway... to the votes...

On Topic: TiE. It was a great topic and both stuck to it well.

Depth: Fix took this with his flashback thing... and also made it a little bit more personal.

Imagery:EZ. The extent that you described what was happenin play-by-play really helped you out. It made your verse exciting, and brought it to life, nice job.

Originality:Fix... never saw that HIV thing coming... it was a nice twist.

Flow:EZ came consistant throughout. Never had to stop and start reading over again.

Multis:TiE. Both used em and used em well.

Enjoyment: I'll be honest... this is a tough call. I'm gonna hafta say TiE, and I'll explain that more later...

Vocab: Nothing "wow-ing" about either really. We'll call this a tie.

Overall: I said I'd get back to the enjoyment thing... After reading EZ's verse, I was like "OK, that was really good... I bet he got this... wonder what Fix got?"... and after reading 1/2 of Fix's verse, I was kinda let down... I was thinking it was gonna be one of those "yawn" kinda verses. But then the HIV twist came in... and changed my perspective. EZ's was solid, consistent and interesting throughout, but Fix's caught me off-guard with the twist he threw in, and made it a more enjoyable ending... So that's why I called that a tie. This was a really close one, but my votes gonna go to FIXION on this one.... Nice job, guys.

H.O.F???? thanks for voting

Word..EZ and I are ILL

On Topic: Tie, both were on point here
Depth: Fix...Both went into depth but I felt Fix had more emotion in his
Imagery: Tie
Originality: Fix, the HIV twist killed it for me
Flow: EZ, Fix had some stretched lines. But both do audio and I could imagine how they would flow to it. but e.z was more consistant
Multis: Tie, I didnt really think either took it over the other. both did well
Enjoyment: Fix, I was gettin into it. I could feel the pain, and the anger and the anticipation of talkin to his fellow employee.
Vocab: Tie

Overall: O.Sin

4-1..

Thats game.

Good bout EZ.