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Topic: Imprisoned On Foreign Soil

Check In By: Tuesday May 30th
Verses Due: Friday June 2nd

Check

check

check weres my partener???? ill just write on my own that ok???

check....sorry...i work 60 hrs a week now so i will do tha best i can with that in mind

Peace activist Josh is out in Iraq, campaigning for an end to the war.
He begins to set up a rally outside a US controlled camp.
Just as he begins to chant, a deafening crash is heard, and
blood rains down from all angles...

Dust and sand hitting the eyes, blind, trapped in the smog
Puddles of flesh and blood, entwined, death's breath creates fog
Screams amidst the confusion, I look around for the cause
And see nothing but open wounds, open questions, open jaws
Hopeless pause, as I straighten up and realise I'm unhurt
And look down at the locals, freshly painting scarlet dirt
As I bend down to help them up, I feel a cold object on my neck
And hear what sounds like Arabic, as I'm forced to hit the deck
My mind spins with confusion, think what's in store for me now?
No time to ponder, my head is pressed into the unclean ground
I hear them mutter, wish I knew what was in store for my fate
As I look up to the heavens, I pray that God will unlock the gate
"Stand up!", the broken English barely audible hits my ears
I turn to face the voice, the voice that now confirms my fears
A man in a mask, gun strapped round the shoulder, a bold sight
Thrown into a car at gunpoint, I prepare for a cold night
They tie my hands with rough rope, and blind my eyes with cloth
But now I can suddenly see, and I'm wondering why it's off
And a man takes a stern look at me, and I'm sure he winks at me
And says "Try any funny stuff eh, I'll make your life a misery"

The man puts the cloth around Josh's eyes once more, and slams the car door shut.
Josh hears the man take a seat in the front and bark "Soogh!", which he recognises
from his brief language lessons as being Arabic for "drive".

The rusty vehicle is movin, shakin from the torn up ground
Silence induced insanity, not a single word or sound
As he turns around, I feel his eyes pierce through the cloth
And feel the germs attack my body as he lets out a loose cough
"Don't worry" he spurts, "We almost there now, sosit still"
I think of those who been in my position.. hope for a quick kill
The thought makes me feel ill, my hands are starting to shake
Not helped by the drunk driver, who slams hard on the brakes
The door opens once again, and I can only hope for a rescue
But I realise I'm in forsaken land where nobody helps you
Forced out the car with a rifle pointed at my shaking head
Confused by the whole ordeal, my last resort is faking death
Every waking breath I've taken didn't prepare me for this
I'm being stripped from my bliss, forced to feel death's kiss
But I didn't fool the captor, as he grabs my arm and hoists
And pushes me into the broken building whose air is so moist
Enter a room with a foul smell, can hear the scurry of rats
Removed the blindfold from my eyes, vision was blurry and flat
Camcorder in the corner, Allahu Akbar flag paints the wall
1000s of soldiers kill innocence yet it's me who takes the fall

The captor grabs Josh and makes him kneel on the ground. He stands in front
of him and waits, keeping his gun pointed at his head.

Minutes pass, and the door opens. 4 more Iraqi infidels enter the room,
faces masked except for the eyes. They group together and begin discussing
their plan of action. Josh's captor emerges from the group, and stands opposite him

"Who you work for?" "No-one"
"Who are you?" "Nobody"
"What do you know?" "Nothing"

He remasks and strikes me hard, feel blood rush to my cheek
I'm going down swinging, "Wrong idea if you think I'm weak"
He smiles and cocks his gun, but fear has gone and left my system
"Go ahead and shoot, coward, just tell my kids that I'll miss em"
"Tell them for yourself", still smiling, he faces the others
And shouts "len ya'kool aya haja!"* and they're joined by another
He walks straight to the corner, and points the camera toward me
Flag draped behind, the others walk over, guns plain to see
Cameraman gives a hand signal, and the captor starts to speak
Reciting lines from the Qu'ran he'd written down on two sheets
Brief pause, before he puts down the paper and stands up straight
"Listen up Americans, release our people 'fore it's too late"
He removes the gagged cloth, and the lone camera wheels nearer
"Tell them who you are", the message could not have been clearer
"My name is Josh Hughes, a Peace Worker who today got captured
But what these morons don't know, is that it's me who's in rapture
Because stood outside right now is an elite American squadron
Who knew that this would happen and named it Operation God's Son"

The squadron swarms the house, taking down the captors at once.
They are barely kept alive, but are bound, and taken out of the house.
Josh is freed, and joins the squadron to return back to the base camp
A smirk emerges from his face...

Lives sacrificed for their capture, felons from previous times
Ask yourself...who in this war's done the most devious crime?


* Len ya'kool aya haja - wont tell us anything

The Story Goes....

Its a stormy day but the scheduled drop must go on as planned, the storm has affected all the electrical equipment. The plane is flying without sense of direction, no one knows where they are headed. Disaster is just ahead and every soul on the plane knows it. All of a sudden shots are fired and the plane is hit. Its going down, and quick, only one paratrooper manages to escape before the plane goes into a barrel roll. The only survivor and he has no idea whats in store for him when he touches down......

And So It Begins...

This is gonna be a rough landing, tha area is full of rocks...
But compared to its surroundings, its a perfect spot...
*Crash*...as I hit tha ground with tremendous force...
My leg jammed in a crevice, n aching pain, my ankle's sore...
Possibly a break, maybe a sprain...adrenaline kickin in eases the throbbin...
My parachute cords I cut so I can free myself, and start walkin...
With a limp in my step, I open my compass and head west...
Not knowin my desitination, I cant prepare for whats next...
I dont recognize the landscape, this must be a isolated country...
Next thing I know Im being shot at, as Im forced to start running...
Yelling behind me, in some foreign language "Stoppen Sie, Ihr an fremder Boden"...
Im not welcome here it seems, and a bullet to my thigh leaves me frozen...
I fall to the ground in extreme agony, I fear what lies ahead...
Im quickly surrounded, the enemy is near as I feel a rifle tip to my head...
"Stehen Sie Sie Dummkopf auf", was shouted at me as Im raised up...
Im being taken to a place thats strange, an reality hits me, Im Fucked...
Blindfolded so I cant see the building, I know what they want and Im not going to tell...
Cuz all these foreign militia are after one thing...that opposing forces intel...
I will be tortured and feel extremities of pain not mean for humans...
These sick fucks are possessed on inflicting me to death, they know what they're doing...
I got no choice but to be strong, because life and death hangs in tha balance...
Im put in a room that smells of flesh and blood, the smell is stagnant...
Voices speaking to me, I dont understand a word...
The largest man steps up to me and hits me first...
Tha sickening thud of fist to my face, my head spinnin in place...
Im hit again even harder, there's blood in my mouth, I can tell by the taste...
Its only begun, and Im already taking a beating...
3 hours later Im barely alive but having trouble breathing...
The next hit causes me to black out, My mind sees stars...
I wake up to bright lights and shitty curtains, must be a hospital ER...
I can see Im bleeding from more places then one, its hard to move...
Im a far ways away from home, I know I aint headed home anytime soon...
I dont think I will ever get to see my family and friends again...
Its a fear that hits my heart, unless a rescue team is lookin for me n any other men...
I know Im dead no matter what, I am not gonna leave this place alive...
I see that Ive left my mark on this earth, doing everything Just & Right...
At my funeral will be the people that I have loved...
All them will wish they had one more chance to give me a hug...
And then the doctor appears and injects something into my IV...
Something to ease the pain I hope, but its unlikely...
As I see a black tunnel with a light at the end of it...
I know it aint a good sign, but I try to remain awake, stay attentive...
It doesnt work as my heart beat slows as I know Im passing away...
My body will be dumped, no proper burial for this soldier today...
I leave a wife and 2 kids behind, they'll remember me in the back of their minds...
I can see the sad faces when their mother has to say "Daddy aint coming back this time"...

And thats the story of a trapped soldier on foreign soil...
Its not to the full extent but his story was told....


Exp-
Stoppen Sie, Ihr an fremder Boden<<<means STOP YOUR ON FOREIGN SOIL in German...
Stehen Sie Sie Dummkopf auf<<<means GET UP YOU FOOL in German...

Verses are in, vote please

Krono, I feel disgusted that you would participate in helping to narrate a negative portayal of your own people...

flow - Kron + verse
metas- Tie
depth- Gridlock+Shaun
creativty- Kron + verse

vote- kron + verse who had a better lyrical story...however it was close, the thing that gave it to them was that they had a better plot and slightly better flow...1st verse was the best (kron) and 2nd verse was the worst (cont)

....grid and shaun were solid throughout, just were too vague/predictable

1

verses are only mine and krons....shaun and verse pulled no shows on both sides....

On Topic:both
Depth:both
Imagery:Kron
Originality:Kron
Flow:Kron
Multis:both
Enjoyment:Kron
Vocab:both

Overall:Kron

both verses are nice , but kron's flow really took this and a great twist at the end, grid your structure was all over the place and it ruined the flow, it was hard to read it and it kinda ruined the enjoyment

Krono, I feel disgusted that you would participate in helping to narrate a negative portayal of your own people...


Kron, since when have you been an Iraqi muslim? And there i was thinking you were a Sikh of Indian heritage....


Anywho,

On Topic:both
Depth:both
Imagery:Kron
Originality:Kron
Flow:Kron
Multis:both
Enjoyment:Kron
Vocab:both

Overall:Kron. Was a lot easier to read and the flow was great throughout, good twist ending as well

KO for Kron & Verse......oh well next time maybe....