View Full Version : The Best One-Liners You've Heard


Noyze
05-11-2007, 02:22 AM
Mutilated but always fun to read. Tryin to see what type of shit people drop. Put em up:boxing: please.


"When they flooded the streets with crack cocaine, I was like Noah."
- KRS-One

"S&M rocks the spot? No question
you're so wack even your yes-man's got suggestions."
- Madchild of Swollen Members

"*****s like you tried to shoot me cause I'm two-faced
but you got bad Aim like you bought spoiled toothpaste."
- Jakki the Motamouth

GreyOfAA
05-11-2007, 02:40 AM
Two Fish Swim Into A Concrete Wall. One Says "Dam"

Alan Johnson
05-11-2007, 02:40 AM
"Conneticut veteren better then ever before // handprints embedded in metal of mics I tore "
- Apathy

"Personally I preach prophocy // These punks putting out poems about pimping pushing and property, pleaseee. // People aint prepared to be pursuaded by political paraphrases they threaten in the papers "
- Saigon

"If its logical, I'll bottle you, beat the shit outta you // Go to your Wake and beat shit outta whoever says "Bye" to you"
- Saigon

"Hardest african on the market, cause I got the smartest plan to market targets that no other artist can"
- Villainelle

A few recent ones I heard...

These aren't the best, but thier some of my fav's

KingMayne
05-11-2007, 02:46 AM
"I'm like Josh Howard, I need a timeout but it'll cost the game"

Joe Budden

Hayzoos
05-11-2007, 03:36 AM
"You're gay"

- Jack

Hayzoos
05-11-2007, 03:39 AM
"I forgive you for hurting me/ I'm sorry for flirting see"

- Elton Jr.

Noyze
05-11-2007, 03:45 AM
"Hardest african on the market, cause I got the smartest plan to market targets that no other artist can"
- Villainelle

I'm feelin that

"I'm like Josh Howard, I need a timeout but it'll cost the game"

Joe Budden
He makes great references to basketball.

"I live this, ya'll paint that pic
and like Magic I'm startin to believe ya'll dudes aint that sick"

"Snakes in the treaches, I peep those
end up like Grant Hill on the bench in your street clothes
talk about he real, how you quick with a glock
but like Kurt Thomas he aint good for shit on the block"
- Joe Budden

Very impressive.

Tommy Bunz
05-11-2007, 10:03 AM
"Conneticut veteren better then ever before // handprints embedded in metal of mics I tore "
- Apathy

"Personally I preach prophocy // These punks putting out poems about pimping pushing and property, pleaseee. // People aint prepared to be pursuaded by political paraphrases they threaten in the papers "
- Saigon

"If its logical, I'll bottle you, beat the shit outta you // Go to your Wake and beat shit outta whoever says "Bye" to you"
- Saigon

"Hardest african on the market, cause I got the smartest plan to market targets that no other artist can"
- Villainelle

A few recent ones I heard...

These aren't the best, but thier some of my fav's


These aren't really one-liners...

Don Vito
05-11-2007, 10:53 AM
"Yukmouth stay half baked just like the guy on the couch, billy bong thorten, pipe in my mouth!"



hahaha

Alan Johnson
05-11-2007, 12:21 PM
These aren't really one-liners...
Neither is what the thread poster started... So i guess we're doing bars

Tommy Bunz
05-11-2007, 01:41 PM
Neither is what the thread poster started... So i guess we're doing bars

Actually what swift posted I would def consider to be one-liners, as they actually had some punch/humor to them. The ones you posted are basically just good technical lines.


A One-liner has to have some sort of bite to qualify...
Such as when Chino XL says:

"I'll aim it at the Pope if he claimin he sellin the most dope

My Jersey blocks is locked tighter than prisoners hold soap"

or

"Shittin on MC's, wipin my ass on they notebooks

How the broke crooks in videos leave me stressed

I'll turn on channel 2 if I wanna CBS, bitch"

(both lines are from What You Got btw)

Alan Johnson
05-11-2007, 01:47 PM
" "Snakes in the treaches, I peep those
end up like Grant Hill on the bench in your street clothes
talk about he real, how you quick with a glock
but like Kurt Thomas he aint good for shit on the block"
- Joe Budden"^ thats not really a 1 liner


w/e lol didnt know they had to be funny punch's

Ohini_Jonez
05-11-2007, 01:57 PM
U a leader what? no one ever followed u//
U were never shit ya mother shoulda swallowed u//

Big L

Tommy Bunz
05-11-2007, 02:06 PM
U a leader what? no one ever followed u//
U were never shit ya mother shoulda swallowed u//

Big L


Ahh Big L was the punchline king...

My favorite of his was "Ask Beavis, I get nothing but head (Butthead)"


R.I.P.

.ScottishHead
05-11-2007, 02:07 PM
I'm just goin to do some of vast aire's.

Cholesterol

"I can't wait any longer
I'm ready to hold plates with Jehovah
Using Neptune's fork, telling Zeus to move over"

"Skinny MC's trying to start somethin'
Bulimic MC's trying to throw something up"

"If you can't have your cake and eat it, you never had it
Anyway, plus it ain't even your birthday"

Atom

"Watch Vast murder the track effortless
Like God's on my side and he answered my Christmas list"

"You wanna pop shit and get popped in the top lip?
I shoot the five and on a good day I bite bullets"

Iron Galaxy

"You were a still born baby
Mother didn't want you, but you were still born"

"I rest my head on 115
But miracles only happen on 34th, so I guess life is mean"

A B Boy's Alpha

"My mother said, "You sucked my pussy when you came out
Don't ever talk back
I handed ya life and I'll snatch it back""

Pigeon

"That's what we call inspired flight
By the pigeons that gotta eat pizza crust every night"

Brrrrruv
05-11-2007, 02:11 PM
Vast Aire has sick one liners.

"You were a still born baby, mother didn't want you but you were still born"

"My mother said 'You sucked my pussy on your way out"

"And if there's crack in the basement, crackheads stand adjacent"

"You wanna pop shit and get popped in the top lip?"

"I'll put a hole in your skull and extract your skeleton"

"I'll put a hole in your skull and extract your gelatin"

"she was in a love triangle but it wasn't like my feelings weren't there to make it a square"

"you think you can fit me in that anorexic space between love and hate?"

"Watch Vast murder the track effortless, Like God's on my side and he answered my Christmas list"

All sick as fuck one-liners from Vast Airs of Cannibal Ox.

All on the same album too, the cold vein, my favourite album ever.

Brrrrruv
05-11-2007, 02:11 PM
Scotty you fucker!

ChapterWon
05-11-2007, 02:14 PM
"Cus when your bussin raps you look more out of place than tiger woods at a rugby match"

Mystro.

Brrrrruv
05-11-2007, 02:16 PM
Jehst - "Yo I decapitate whack and fake rappers at a rapid rate"

Noyze
05-11-2007, 02:18 PM
^ thats not really a 1 liner

w/e lol didnt know they had to be funny punch's

I'm not nit picking, yet that was in response to the poster I directed it to. Should've said "One-Bar/Liners"

All good

.ScottishHead
05-11-2007, 02:18 PM
"Ive got the 6th sense,
I trap the future in in my voice box
and spit knowledge that doesn't exsist yet"

- Possessed

Brrrrruv
05-11-2007, 02:21 PM
Vast Aire - "I'll hit you with the ashy knuckles, first your brain will freeze then your legs will buckle"

Brrrrruv
05-11-2007, 02:22 PM
Vast Aire - "You a rookie, I'm a def Juxie. What is you son? A Muffin or a touch cookie?"

Lol, he's fucking sick

Noyze
05-11-2007, 02:29 PM
I'm just goin to do some of vast aire's.

Cholesterol

"I can't wait any longer
I'm ready to hold plates with Jehovah
Using Neptune's fork, telling Zeus to move over"

"Skinny MC's trying to start somethin'
Bulimic MC's trying to throw something up"

"If you can't have your cake and eat it, you never had it
Anyway, plus it ain't even your birthday"


Very impressive.



"Rap aint a cipher, stop frontin’
I wouldn’t see half ya’ll rhyme if I came back like I forgot somethin"
- Wordsworth

"I'll help the cops out and write my rhymes around you in chalk."
- Benefit

"Ya'll can't fuck wit me or my team
even in your best dream you still get Rodney King"
- Manifest of Greenhouse Effect

"My Baby's mama taught my daughter to ask for paper
I told her Disneyland blew up so I aint have to take her"
- Cage

slizz
05-11-2007, 02:42 PM
"We bringin drama, fuck u and your muthafuckin mama"
:D

johnnyfranchise
05-11-2007, 02:49 PM
my favorites:

jadakiss-im not cocky im confident/
so when you tell me im the best its a compliment/

jae millz- *****z mad cuz they raps is lame/
and them flashin chains gettin better yearly like madden games/

jae millz- im nyc at its best/
i grew up runnin my mouth for free and now i breathe for checks

nas- then if he feed ya family and he serve you shit/
then he should get the head you gettin...he deserve ya bitch/

big l- cuz ima money getter also a hunnie getter/
you think u nice as me..HAHA YOUSA FUNNY *****!!

my favorites...cant think of anymore right now

This Fuckin Guy
05-11-2007, 03:05 PM
"I'll have a ***** blisterin quicker than chicken pox
in a box in a river sittin stiffer than 6'o'clock"

-Royce 5'9


"Stick my dick in your ear and fuck what you heard"

-Rakim


"

overSkill
05-11-2007, 03:09 PM
so i switched my motto, instead of saying "fuck tomorrow"
that buck that bought a bottle could've struck the lotto
-Nas

I Never sleep, cuz sleep is the cousin of death
-Nas

our ignorance is in the same breath as our innocence
subconsciously, seeking to find an impressionable mind to convince
-Common

should of been a postal worker putting "P.O.'s" in boxes
-celph titled

got it coming together like siamese prostitutes
-Jhakki

with more rhymes in use than dr suess and motherfuckin' mother goose
-MF Doom

A tech nine is my utensil
Fillin' *****s with so much led they can use they dick for a pencil
-Big L


Just off the top of my head, ill post some nice ones after

Noyze
05-11-2007, 03:21 PM
"I'm startin’ problems, bringing drama regardless
we get our point across like a Trapeze artist without fallin"
- Canibus

"Election year, had the block hot
I scream "fuck the world", but having a baby girl sorta cock block."
- Common

"You can't rehearse fate, my birthdate was a prophecy
Maternity wards had to reserve space."
- Wordsworth

"For fake, if he was Anita Baker's man
He'd take her for her masters, hit it once an' shake her hand"
- MF Doom

johnnyfranchise
05-11-2007, 03:30 PM
more....

nas-i neva sleep cuz sleep is the cousin of death

tupac-dont one of u *****z got sickle cell....fuck around and get a seizure (haha)

tupac-remember when i use to let u sleep on the couch/
and beg the bitch to let you sleep in the house/

eminem- and whats all this you sayin bout us bein meant to be together/
thats the kinda shit thata make me not want us to meet eachother/

papoose- and how could i have a battle/
when im already winnin the war in the rotten apple/

j dilla- i need space for all of my womens...cuz these days the argue is limited/
i replace the broad if she trippin....its deep game and all in the pimpin/

nas- its a don you with...my nine's spit....*****s lose consciousness

busta rhymes- HEY JEFFREY!!! WHAT THE FUCK YOU COME AND BOTHER ME FOR!!!!!

busta rhymes- 106 & PARK FANS DONT EVEN FUCKIN RESPECT YOU!!!

tupac- in the land where the skinny *****s die

jay-z- i want money like cosby!! who wouldnt....with this kinda talk *****s probably think you aint got no puddin/

ludacris-GET OFF THE T.I.P. OF MY DICK

dr. dre-its like a jungle in this habitat...when all u savage cats no that i was strapped with gats while yall was cuddlin a cabage patch

shutup
05-11-2007, 04:20 PM
"Shouldn't of come here, you changed your fate Your brains'll make the debut on the table when I raise the stakes"
-Pun

"Go buy me and your mom some condoms"
-Tehgame's mom's boyfriend

"That made him smile, tho his eyes said pray for me- I'll do you one better and slay these *****s faithfully"
-JayZ

"These lyrical skills i'm droppin with ease/ I'll eat you like i did those 7 double whoppers with cheese/"
-Jack.

"You dont get paid if i dont pay taxes- i dont like you anyway, raised on NWA so hey, go blame Oshea Jackson"
-Crooked I

mageisgreat
05-11-2007, 04:28 PM
Its too late, once your hung from the drapes, its curtains-Eminem



(im not gonna bother qouting more eminem, seeing as SSLP and MMLP are basically all one-2 liner punches/qoutes.)

A thug changes, love changes, and best friends become strangers-Nas


Anybody gets it, somebody wetted JMJ
No respect for his craft, shot in his face, laughed and they ran away-Goretex

Hayzoos
05-11-2007, 04:30 PM
"These lyrical skills i'm droppin with ease/ I'll eat you like i did those 7 double whoppers with cheese/"
-Jack.





I told ya'll I was da illezt.

Alan Johnson
05-11-2007, 07:03 PM
This is a good thread... another nice one

Proof - "Just cause the reverend listens, doesnt mean he cares" - Not exactly a punch or funny or nothing.

Noyze
05-11-2007, 07:36 PM
"My quotes cock block throats
leave you unable to respond like i just told a homeless person a knock-knock joke."
- Vakill

"I really stay on top of my game when I mack
'Cause I'm fucking your wife missionary style on a Twister mat."
- Celph Titled

"Question..How do you call an MC nice via the phone line?
Pick up and at the sound of the tone, just dial 3 four times."
- Tonedeff

"What in the hell possessed you, don't you know I'm cannibal?
that means when rhymin I get down to the bone gristle."
- Vast Aire

Alan Johnson
05-11-2007, 08:10 PM
"My quotes cock block throats
leave you unable to respond like i just told a homeless person a knock-knock joke."
- Vakill

Thats nice!!!

PyroclasticFlow
05-11-2007, 08:59 PM
"life will send you right out to do some illegal shit tryna get legal tender"

dirty birdy

Don Vito
05-11-2007, 09:03 PM
When you was spinnin techniques learnin DJ shit
I was tryin to touch and hundred ki's like Freeway Rick


I "Ryde or Die" like "Swizz Beatz"
So miss with the bullshit, all these bullets gone turn yo ass to swiss cheese

You can ask Puff Lil Cease, Mary J. B. and Jodeci
About that ***** Yuk means the hardcore
got kicked off tour For piss marking on the hotel floor .........haha

if you tested the best like David Koresh
get ready to be
reincarnated in the motherfuckin flesh


I know that death is callin, I can hear it pagin me
chasin me
(ch-ch... haha)
like Jason be

Noyze
05-12-2007, 02:36 AM
I'm not R. Kelly but I'll piss on your 16.
- Sean Price

I don’t care, you ain’t shit, never gonna be shit
You couldn’t get the crowds hands up if you where throwing out some free shit.
- Jargon

If it wasn't for Microsoft, you faggots wouldn't have no fans
If you lived in the Middle East, you faggots wouldn't have no hands.
- Ill Bill

Fuck... the.. frail shit (Uh)
Cuz when my coke come in they gotta use the scales that they weigh the whales wit.
- Jadakiss

You either become a victim or spectate...
If you aint makin moves, checkmate.
- Y@k Ballz

Noyze
05-14-2007, 03:26 PM
Bumpin this

slizz
05-14-2007, 03:54 PM
Love this Redman one:
"You ship off keys and we ship Grand Pianos"

The God
09-20-2007, 03:43 AM
I stand out like a ***** on a hocky team\
I got goals and I can like a pop machine\ Common

I can remember times when for a 40 I had to beg for bucks\
Nobody really gave a... so I had to beg for fucks\ Common

Flawless victory you *****z can't do shit to me\
Physically lyrically hypothetically realistically\ Big Pun

Sometime rhymin I blow my own mind like Nirvana\ Big Pun

Drink Listerine, brush my teeth with amphetamine\
So I can sound fresh and say dope things in between\ Ras Kass

slizz
09-20-2007, 08:26 AM
I see no changes all I see is racist faces/
misplace hates makes disgrace to races

2Pac

P90zN5'7nz
09-20-2007, 09:55 AM
Ask bevis I get nothing BUTT HEAD

I got a sister who schooled me to shit you chickens do

The more you talk the more you urkin us the more u gon need memorial services

Tommy Bunz
09-20-2007, 01:33 PM
"Pussies love Nelly, he made it cool to wear band-aids" - Lloyd Banks

Bruh Man
09-20-2007, 05:53 PM
"you couch potatoes don't believe me call the cable crew--------------------everytime I bus kids think they on they way 2 school"-One.be.Lo

"one time ridin through the hood me and my mans saw some big feet hands and teeth yo that ain't grandma, big chains cars and clothes that ain't hip hop"-one.be.lo

"The media be feedin us napalm atomics while the school brainwashes the crayons are toxic" One.Be.Lo

"met her they said he was never the same,started seein them 2gether like umbrellas and rain you'd think that spaghetti put a spell on his brain"-One.Be.Lo

"snatch yo' flavor call you gatoraid"-One.be.lo

"I could had way more hose(hoes) than firefighters"-One.be.lo

"I got more game than espn walked up 2 house like little pig let me,
she opened up the door with a sexy grin and then thatz all I know alotta motion in the ocean throw me off the boat like jonah. I want you in a special way cuz you fly in an extraterriastrail way"

"we put our heads together like a mount rushmore"-One.be.lo

"draw crowds like a magic sword, excalibur"-One.be.lo

(The whole first verse of Evil Of Self by One.Be.Lo)

Cold Vein
09-20-2007, 07:09 PM
i've always liked this Big Pun line from Beware:

Flawless victory you *****z can't do shit to me
Physically lyrically hypothetically realistically

The God
09-20-2007, 07:38 PM
i've always liked this Big Pun line from Beware:

Flawless victory you *****z can't do shit to me
Physically lyrically hypothetically realistically

Pun goes hard.

...You changed your fate, your brains will make a debut on the table
When I raise the stakes, the pain is great...

Plug Zero
09-20-2007, 07:47 PM
"Fuck being hard, Posdnuos is complicated"

- Pos from De La Soul

Hellmouth
09-20-2007, 08:15 PM
Your just the type to run when the beef start,
your just a retard, claiming to be street smart

Hellmouth
09-20-2007, 08:18 PM
i spit sh!t - slick sh!it - so quick you miss sh!t - to be specific - i go ballistic - its heiroglyphic

Swagasaurus Rex
09-20-2007, 08:30 PM
Almost every line in Beware is a quotable

"Then we'll surround you, form desert storm and pound you
Look around you, Terror Squad everywhere like Soundview"

"I'm not the one you should be underestimatin'
Come test ya fate and I guarantee i'll be under investigation"

Plug Zero
09-20-2007, 08:35 PM
"told my mother I hustle and she said be careful"

-Cam'ron

it's an ill line because he makes it sound as if hustling is a rite of passage. If you're in the struggle, you hustle, and it's something his mother isn't exactly condoning, but at the same time she's accepting it as something inevitable.

It's always the simplest lines that have the deepest meaning.

doc.mentor
09-20-2007, 09:23 PM
" I had to connect to cross seals, to catch more mil's
Than ho-bitches got birth control pills"

gza

Shaun P.
09-20-2007, 09:51 PM
Cause I'll be on the grid from the pm to the am
Paint pictures with my rhymes, you can see 'em when I say 'em
My songs like movies you can see 'em when you play them
If a bitch want beef, when I see 'em I'ma spray 'em

cassidy : a.m. to p.m.

In my historical oracle
I blast metaphorical
editorials educated
in my territorial
get torn
heavily armed with seventy bombs
that'll blast divine like the heavenly song
Your men'll be gone

jedi mind tricks : i against i

Yo, I'll shove a gun in ya grill, greasy and heated
Smothered in hot mustard so when I feed it to you it's easy to eat it
You need to be immediately treated
While you breathin' you'll be leavin'
The receiving room this evening with Jesus

eminem : freestyle

We don't do drivebys, we park in front of houses and shoot
and when the police come we fuckin shoot it out with them too!
That's the mentality here (here) that's the reality here
Did I just hear somebody say they wanna challenge me here??
While I'm holdin a pistol with this many calibres here??
Got some registration and just made this shit valid this year?

eminem : amityville


not really one liners but some of my favorites tho

Cee Jay 2oo9
09-21-2007, 08:46 AM
i fire my gun like its unemployed

LEE_M_C
09-21-2007, 09:17 AM
Fuck a headache, gimmie a migraine,
Damnit I like pain,
And you should be anywhere that I might gain - Eminem

Born straight up out a pussy but a son of a gun - Kon Artis

So they pulled out and robbed him,
with the same gun they shot him with,
Put it to his head and said "You scared ain't ya?"
He said: "Hustler for death. No heaven for a gangsta." - Lupe Fiasco

This ain't no tall order, this is nothin to me
Difficult takes a day, impossible takes a week - Jay-Z

I'm not a businessman, I'm a business, man - Jay-Z

Ho! (But can i getta ride?!)
NO! (Cmon, ***** why?!)
Coz youza
Hooooooooo (Ho) - Ludacris

Papa was a motherfuckin, joke
Used to find dope in his coat
And nearly choked when he'd tell me not to smoke
Daaamn, don't get me started
My mama smoked so God damn much
when she was pregnant I'm surprised I ain't retarded - Pac

Shaun P.
09-21-2007, 10:27 AM
my gun got fired so much it need another job

papoose

Shaun P.
09-21-2007, 10:45 AM
ive got a sixth sense, i stack dead people/ im talkin grants and jacksons, swear it took a whole hour just to count the jacksons

Patrick McCourt
09-21-2007, 10:49 AM
"One day, she used my toothbrush to clean the toilet"

^^ marvel in thats greatness ^^

my gun got fired so much it need another job

papoose

Pap went from being nice lyrically to a corny punchline rapper

*predicts future Papoose puncline*

"I left Jive like the opposite of right"

Bigsmokes
09-21-2007, 10:52 AM
MAN... I HAVE THIS THREAD ON LOCK!!!!!!



"I make paper like trees" - Lil Wanye

"i melt in your mouth but not in your heand- 50 cent

"Like Nike i just do it" Young Jeezy

"My chain light up like a lamp"- Paul Wall

"I'm leaning like i'm limping"-Paul Wall

"Foxx flippin Webbie smokin and we chokin off a whole pound of purple famous like tha ninja turtles" Lil Boosie

"That rooti, tooti, fruity, Louie, what I usually do
This that jump, stop, breathe, whoody-who"-Camron



"This is just fate, how I would sit on a crate
Listen to tapes everyday a frisk was at stake
Chicks cuffs risk gettin raped my mission was straight
Thug visit them states near them great Michigan lakes
And fuck a bathroom, I pissed on the gate" - Cam'ron





I WIN!!!!

Tom.B
09-21-2007, 12:23 PM
"I'll give you a fresh slice, and I ain't talking bout no pizza thats hot" - Jojo Pellegrino

Nathan McIntosh
09-21-2007, 12:25 PM
That line was basic like virtual @ "Your just the type to run when the beef start,
your just a retard, claiming to be street smart"

Cogline
09-21-2007, 12:38 PM
"I'm the devil, if the ever was such a thing" /Eminem

Shaun P.
09-21-2007, 06:54 PM
I'm not a rapper, I'm a demon who speaks English
Freak genuis, too extreme for the weak and squeemish
Burn you alive till you screamin to be extinquished

eminem

Cold Vein
09-21-2007, 08:20 PM
"Verbally I catch bodies with cordless shotties
Intriguin emcees, I keep em trained like potties
I bomb facts, my sword is an axe
to split backs invisible, like dope fiend tracks"

- The Genius "Guillotine (Swords)"

Shaun P.
09-21-2007, 08:35 PM
At a thousand degree celsius i make mc's melt
Fuck my record label i appear courtesy of myself
Let me explain how i maintain thresholds to pain
I walk across the sun barefoot lookin for shade
I rearrange your rib cage like a twelve gauge at close range
And change the position of your brain
My hard raps penetrate through your hardhats and all that
*****, get ya wig peeled back
I scalp you like the indians on horseback
Running bull will hit you harder than runningback
Stunning man with brave and cunning rap
Swiftly running laps around 48 tracks
Like uncut crack you fiends keep coming back
Heads is flippin like acrobats on gym mats
From wax to analog tapes to digital dat's
It's critical black, that canibus is ill like that
In fact perhaps you should quit rap, instead of always
Tryin to diss back, cause *****z keep tellin you that your shit's wack
I rip raps, hardcore raps rushin you to the floor mat
Put you in the figure four, break your thorax
Jump off the top turnbuckle and land on your back
Til i hear it snap or crackle, the ref says chill black
You get clapped bringin the wrong raps to combat
Like bringin a paint gun to a shoot out with real gats
Y'all *****z is wack, rappin over microphone feedback
My intelligence begins where yours peaks at
From fox boogie in the see-through brasierre, to nasty nas here
My ***** nature'll explain it further if it's not clear

canibus

B-Raff
09-21-2007, 09:43 PM
Nothing mind blowing, but I've always loved this line:

"I'd rather die enormous than live dormant." - Jay-Z

KILO
09-21-2007, 10:30 PM
"act loud and bleed
i stopped *****s from wanting beef like the mad cow disease"-Papoose

Plug Zero
09-21-2007, 10:30 PM
I'm like a fly Malcolm X
Buy any jeans necessary
Detroit Red cleaned up

- Kanye West

so damn clever that line

*Sk0uNdRaL*
09-21-2007, 10:31 PM
"They got to the roof and then held her down on the ground
Screaming shut the fuck up and stop moving around
The shirt covered her face, but she screamed the clawed"

immortal technique

-= KuBa =-
09-22-2007, 01:58 AM
2pac:
My attitude was, "Fuck it," cause motherfuckers love it
(doesnt seem like a crazy line but his delivery of this line is what makes it)

Royce 5'9:
"You Dumb Fucks Know When I Roll Up The Truck Slow It Aint To Open Up The Door Duck Low Im Bout To Open Up The Four"
(once again delivery makes this line)

"Yeah, weeding out static, holding what I would rather have
And not need, then need and not have it"

"I feel like a poolstick in a room full of toothpicks"

D.Down
09-22-2007, 07:38 AM
I met this lady in Hollywood. She had green hair, but damn she looked good.
I took her to my house, cause she was fine, but she whipped out a dick that was bigger than mine - Lol Bloody Afroman.

Booker
09-22-2007, 08:32 AM
"I'm like Josh Howard, I need a timeout but it'll cost the game"

Joe Budden


thats horrible.

i really hope its you who is remembering the lyrics incorrectly and not joe budden making a fool of himself.

first of all it was chris webber who called the infamous timeout. second of all he's thinking of JUWAN howard because he was on that team too. Josh Howard plays for the mavericks and has nothing whatsoever to do with that debacle.

*Killuminati*
09-22-2007, 09:56 AM
Hey, it's me, Versace Whoops, somebody shot me!
And I was just checking the mail Get it? Checking the 'male'?

Eminem
Technically 2 lines but it's funny as fuck

De.Cor.Um
09-22-2007, 10:14 AM
"If The Game Needs A New Look, Im Between The Tummy Tuck & The Facelift" - Buddens


"Im So Nice Mr. Rogers Sued My Ass For Copyright Infringment" - The White Dude From CunninLynguists

Mr. NoNo
09-22-2007, 11:45 PM
"to the end of the week, I live by the beat like you live check to check/
If you don't move yo' foot then I don't eat, so we like neck to neck/
Yes we done come a long way like them Slim ass cigarettes/
from Virginia, this ain't gon stop so we just gonna continue/"

-Outkast on Elevators

jbbj1515
09-22-2007, 11:57 PM
first of all
thats horrible.

i really hope its you who is remembering the lyrics incorrectly and not joe budden making a fool of himself.

first of all it was chris webber who called the infamous timeout. second of all he's thinking of JUWAN howard because he was on that team too. Josh Howard plays for the mavericks and has nothing whatsoever to do with that debacle.

In game 5 of the 2006 NBA Finals against the Miami Heat, it was asserted by referees that Howard called for a timeout during Dwyane Wade's free throw attempts, which only allowed Dallas to inbound the ball at full court instead of setting up for a play at half court.

oh wait i forgot, joe budden is just a nerdy backpacker so it doesn't matter that you're the one making a fool of yourself, right?

second of all

it seems like the cool thing in this thread is to post quotes that are in no way shape or form a "one liner." like the guy who posted the IT line(s) earlier on this page.

3rd of all, the best one liner that i've heard (and can remember right now)

"i stick my dick in your ear, and fuck what you heard"

-rakim

groundfisher
09-23-2007, 07:59 AM
Registered here just to contribute to this:

BIG L

"When it comes to getting nookie I'm not a rookie
I've got girls that make that chick Toni Braxton look like Whoopi"

"I'm a street genius with a unique penis
Got fly chicks on my dick that don't even speak English"

Not sure of the exact wording of this one:
"I'm so far ahead of my time my parents haven't met yet"

NAS on BBQ has some ill throw-away lines:

"Swimmin in women like a lifeguard"
"Kidnap the president's wife without a plan"
"Play Mr. Tuffy while I'm on some pretty tone shit"

Inspektah Deck

"Hardcore I rip it like porno flick bitches"

and ends with

"I scream on your ass like your dad"

D.Down
09-23-2007, 09:27 AM
You grab a mic and always get hype
Talkin bout fuckin *****z up
When you can bearly beat your dick right - Lord Finesse

Edit:
We can box rhyme for knots and see who got the biggest glocks
It don't matter cause I can withstand
I got no hair on my chest but I'm still the motherfucking man - A.G.

Nickel
09-26-2007, 09:08 PM
"I'm from the place where the chruch is the flakiest
And *****s is praying to god so long that they Atheist
Where you can't put your vest away and say you'll wear it tomorrow
Cause the day after we'll be saying, damn I was just with him yesterday"
-Jay-Z "Where I'm From"

D.Down
09-27-2007, 06:50 AM
Ill be the ice-breaker for you unskilled skaters - GZA

and

The last cat that tried to see me,
He now gotta touch braille - Vast Aire

and

The planet revolves, supposedly, man evolves
But no problem is solved, cause man is the cause
- Ras Kass

cmclassic
09-27-2007, 07:54 AM
i'll burn an orphanage just to bring heat to you bastards
-immortal technique

D.Down
09-27-2007, 08:02 AM
Dunno if its all ready been posted but its dope.

Me without lyrics, is like a porn flick without sex - Canibus

D.Down
09-27-2007, 08:08 AM
A Tech Nine Is My Utensil, Filling *****s With So Much Lead They Can Use They Dick For A Pencil - Big L

D.Down
09-27-2007, 08:33 AM
The poor get worked, the rich get richer
The world gets worse, do you get the picture - J-Live

Nickel
09-27-2007, 07:57 PM
for some reason this next line jus comes off as soo gangsta to me...i dunno

"Two words, Freeway's slightly retarded
Fuck around, throw a clip in ya artist, leave with his broad"
-Freeway "Two Words"

that line is jus so hard to me...no homo

D.Down
09-27-2007, 08:03 PM
To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal
Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle - http://images.killermovies.com/forums/smilies/cartoon/laugh.gif Tha One And Only V-Ice

Patrick McCourt
09-27-2007, 09:11 PM
"damn right i kissed my daddy"
"i got tired of shitting on myself, so i decided to shit on everyone else"
"santa clause ... i leave her wit a white chin ... yes, I get a lot of neck like a violin"

Lil Wayne = Greatness

he admits he kisses men and shits himself

De.Cor.Um
09-27-2007, 10:44 PM
"Ima Make You *****s See The Light Like A Bright Idea"
^^ Blu on Simply Amazin'...That Whole Track Is Full Of Lines

Shaun P.
09-27-2007, 10:51 PM
"in my state you best to chill out or letcha blood spill out, cuz n*ggaz where im from is playin wit dem gunz" J diggs....