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-   -   Wk1; Harsh Vs ito25 (http://www.rapworlds.com/forums/showthread.php?t=117648)

Burd 03-14-2008 03:12 PM

Wk1; Harsh Vs ito25
 
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Shit Talking Goes In Designated Thread

Line length - 20 to 60 lines.
Hook Can Be Included Doesn't Count Against You. As Well As Dialogue. Just Dont Make It Excessive.

Vote On:

On Topic
Depth
Imagery
Originality
Flow
Multis
Vocab
Enjoyment
Hook/dialogue (if Applicable To Both)

Participating Members & Members Who Were Involved Can Vote. Also Vets Can Vote. Each Member Must Vote On Two (2) Battles - If you don't vote. YOU FUCKING LOSE!


Check In By Monday
Verses Due Wednesday Est.

Topic - Creature Comforts.

Harsh 03-14-2008 04:07 PM

Re: Wk1; Harsh Vs ito25
 
checkers...

when do we get the topic/bar length?

ito25 03-14-2008 05:27 PM

Re: Wk1; Harsh Vs ito25
 
wassup fellas whats the topic?g/l harsh

ito25 03-18-2008 01:12 PM

Re: Wk1; Harsh Vs ito25
 
got da topic will be in tomorrow

Harsh 03-19-2008 03:55 PM

Re: Wk1; Harsh Vs ito25
 
Im prayin I get can get to this tonight, I have half of it done but Im running around right now trying to get my car insured and my CD deck and subwoofers put in

I should get it in though

Harsh 03-19-2008 10:07 PM

Re: Wk1; Harsh Vs ito25
 
Iím tired of the zookeepers giving orders as I sit and inhale all the dingy odors
Thatís why Iím glad to see you bring reporters and expose these shitty living quarters
Maybe we can get supporters to demand the zoo increase my space to roam
I lie ashamed, alone praying that I would just die or be taken home
Misplaced and owned by these savages who lock me in this 8 by 10 cell
I shake cry and dwell as the other animals Ďscreechí and im not talkin Ďsaved by the bellí
Iíve been taken to hell, how is a Puma like me supposed to be eat like a veagan
Tryin to be frees what im seekin, Everyday I waste on this tree I get weakened
The time I was beat by a legion of apes who had managed to escape from their cages
The hate on their faces made me understand these people were hateful disgraces
As I wait for some wasted fool to trip and fall into this pit so they can be torn apart
From limb to limb and get shown their heart as I tear through their bones and start
To throw their parts in all directions as the deep red blood splatters the bystanders
Donít matter what my standards are they would see me shatter this guyís grandeur
Stick him on a platter to die faster as the zookeepers ran to get their tranquilizers
And if they didnít hurry, what I would do would put to shame the tigers
But the pain stays idle because its so small in here no one could even fall in this pit
Always on display no callin in sick, The grass gives me hay fever this pollens a bitch
Canít believe Iím fallin for this the polar bears and monkeys are plotting escape
But I hate talking to apes, but I guess it would be better than being locked in this place
Lost in a daze from the adrenaline as we discuss our plan quick to try and bust out captives
We only have one shot no luck to practice, so I guess I just have to trust their tactics
So we rush the plastic walls that keep us in I canít wait to get out Iíll be free again
I can finally see my kin, spend the weekends in paradise and lie on the beach and grin
So our fleet begins to break out and soon all of the other animals are tryin our escape route
As I bite through the workers their blood sprays out and from all the pain shout
Their brains spout through the holes in their head, blood everywhere its glowin in red
People screamin moanin for death, stick em in the penguin exzibit so they froze as they bled
Then I killed more as I fled and as I reach the Zooís exit I can taste freedom in the air
I see the monkeys running but Iím beating them their, I canít wait to be free from despair
I get outside and Iím speechless, impaired, I canít believe what I see before my eyes
Iím free from all the guys, but what I saw made me feel sick and weak enough to die
I gotta be seeing a disguise because what I saw before me was nothing but a baron wasteland
Soon the air will taste bland, no food out here me and stray dogs will be comparing waistbands
Its no fair the place stands next to nothing its lacking a view, I guess Iíll have to scratch my debut
The birds overhead laughed as they flew, damnÖnow I wish that I was back in the zoo



Peace & Goodluck

ito25 03-19-2008 10:14 PM

Re: Wk1; Harsh Vs ito25
 
i kno creature comforts is an animated clay show, etc.. but i put my own twist on it ne way its an old written hope yal enjoy it i dont think i need to break it down..



The contrast between dogs and cats , cats stalk thier pray dogs bark then attack ,,
Snakes charm with love give you hugs and squeeze you tight but as soon as you freeze it will sneak it's bite..
Wolves travel in packs because thier cowards , bully the meek cause the week lack the power--to see through the sheeps wool-
only lambs and chickens will be fooled ,,
What about them lame ducks that chill like they're blazed up ,
as long as the sun stays up they're right by your're side
When the clouds turn grey they spread their wings and fly towards the skies,,
Deep inside the jungle there's lions , tigers and bears- oh my !
If the likes of these types roam by~stand your ground or go hide~
'Cause if you're scared an start to show signs~the scent of fear in the air will make them go blind~they'll roar and open ther'tr jaws wide~claw an gnaw the flesh right off your raw hide ,,
Now if you find yourelf caught in a web tangled between the sheets of a black widows bed~cover your head~
her love is leathal broher she will fuck you to death ,,
man gorillas will kill ya , monkeys are cool
these clowns stay and trees being funny and rude..
never mess with a rat , they're always getting stuck on a trap
but keep coming back cause somehow they slip through the cracks,
why is that ?!!
pigs play dirty hoggin the grub ,
judge us when hey squeal and roll in the mud ,,
animals and man we're all one with nature~endagered~because and ass and and elephant continue to rape her....

Heavy Handz 03-20-2008 03:52 PM

Re: Wk1; Harsh Vs ito25
 
Vote On:

On Topic...harsh
Depth..harsh he kept it up all the way threw an wrote a book
Imagery...tie both were ight
Originality...hmm both
Flow,..ito even tho the structure was a little strange
Multis...harsh
Vocab..harsh
Enjoyment..both were nice
Hook/dialogue...ermm w.e


o.a Harsh

cool peace guys

Harsh 03-20-2008 03:59 PM

Re: Wk1; Harsh Vs ito25
 
thanks bro

1-0

Heavy Handz 03-20-2008 04:21 PM

Re: Wk1; Harsh Vs ito25
 
could you vote on mine a burds please
it will be my last battle so...


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