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Old 01-23-2008, 09:28 PM   #1
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H.N.I.CHARGE vs deff

4-5 Bars
Due 24 hours
check
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Old 01-23-2008, 09:36 PM   #2
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Re: H.N.I.CHARGE vs deff

hmmm..cant wait for this check
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Old 01-24-2008, 08:40 PM   #3
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Re: H.N.I.CHARGE vs deff

Hmmm..
I guest I hit a nerve''about Hilary and white folks,so you won't to battle it out'
It don't matter'' this joker just a laugh on the counch....
you can vote for God and he still be counting it out..
starting with the basic facts's
For 1 you can't rap, and 2 you'll never make it so face it-ya-wack
Bulletz from Gats'll leave-you wit A TORN'N-NECK-
SO WHEN YOU SAY YOU SPEAKIN DON'T PUSH ME''
CUZ I'LL LEAVE YOU ON THE FLOOR-WIT-TECHS
WHEN I SPRAY,I'M BEATIN THIS WUSSY
So This has nothing to do with oral sex when I say Im eatting this pussy''
Just call me the better half'' I'll wear a leather mask,,
while throwing lighting like a weather act..
Yea I got here in January..and in shorter time,
I've got way more respect here then you ever have..
What you drunk..you should of join the army and been George Bush Lunch''
Im 'Grey Goose'in this bitch,kid you can't stomach a punch''
while ya fumble with ya balls''How ya plan to call the game
Unless those are all your 'aliases', in the Hall of Shame''
I can 'see' ya' all the same''without Racial Profilin''
and Im happy' ta serve ya, while ya' Hate with no Smilin
You fake with the Violence', like Pro Wrestling Matches..
And the only 'heads'' you blessed was 'oral sex'' on ya matress//
.
.
.
.
show me your skills
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Old 01-24-2008, 09:35 PM   #4
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Re: H.N.I.CHARGE vs deff

4-5 Bars you idiot..not 11 but they were crap enough that I'll let you keep them,

4 Bars.

You see 1 Bar = 2 Lines..

Quote:
..so keep the votes coming
^ After being KO'd by Harsh

Your rhymes are whack and played, the Charge of the fag parade,
Your craps displayed, the facts are straight, you lack the weight

Sex offenders social event - at your girls house, that dont imply consent
Cheap battle cos I reverse Charge, so I'm reimbursed by and large

Your political views are fucking silly, voting Hilly solely cos shes sucking willy*
Or do we vote Obama whos black-but-duller? Will his policies change cos he lacks-the-colour?

Quote:
naw not at all only way I loseing by hate votes,,
^ Heard it before..many times so bring on the hate votes

Fail to admit-you'll get scarred, Snales' pet pit-bull(Harsh*) set the bar
I could be energy starved, in many ways parched and still wouldn't need a Charge

* He made a thread saying we should vote for hilary just because she was a woman
* No offence
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Old 01-24-2008, 09:48 PM   #5
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Re: H.N.I.CHARGE vs deff

is that your battle thread..
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Old 01-24-2008, 10:07 PM   #6
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Re: H.N.I.CHARGE vs deff

...What?
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Old 01-24-2008, 10:29 PM   #7
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Re: H.N.I.CHARGE vs deff

I didnt say vote for hilary I said she going to fuck up like bush
you got your words wrong...really you do
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Old 01-24-2008, 10:31 PM   #8
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Re: H.N.I.CHARGE vs deff

Because I cant understand what you say due to a lack of proper spelling and grammar...

Dont sway votes.
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Old 01-24-2008, 10:34 PM   #9
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Re: H.N.I.CHARGE vs deff

naw you just a asshole thats stupid..really
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Old 01-24-2008, 11:03 PM   #10
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Re: H.N.I.CHARGE vs deff

I guest I hit a nerve''about Hilary and white folks,so you won't to battle it out'
It don't matter'' this joker just a laugh on the counch....
you can vote for God and he still be counting it out..
^^^stretched out to the max. poor vocab here and punch was weak
starting with the basic facts's
For 1 you can't rap, and 2 you'll never make it so face it-ya-wack
Bulletz from Gats'll leave-you wit A TORN'N-NECK-
SO WHEN YOU SAY YOU SPEAKIN DON'T PUSH ME''
CUZ I'LL LEAVE YOU ON THE FLOOR-WIT-TECHS
^^^multi was a bit simple, weak punch
WHEN I SPRAY,I'M BEATIN THIS WUSSY
So This has nothing to do with oral sex when I say Im eatting this pussy''
^^^ u dissed urself..u said u eat pussy? cmon b.
Just call me the better half'' I'll wear a leather mask,,
while throwing lighting like a weather act..
Yea I got here in January..and in shorter time,
I've got way more respect here then you ever have..
^^^ok its not bad
What you drunk..you should of join the army and been George Bush Lunch''
Im 'Grey Goose'in this bitch,kid you can't stomach a punch''
^^^ 2nd line was quite good, first was filler
while ya fumble with ya balls''How ya plan to call the game
Unless those are all your 'aliases', in the Hall of Shame''
^^^ 2nd line playd but still kinda funny
I can 'see' ya' all the same''without Racial Profilin''
and Im happy' ta serve ya, while ya' Hate with no Smilin
^^^didnt work b, cuda worded it alot better
You fake with the Violence', like Pro Wrestling Matches..
And the only 'heads'' you blessed was 'oral sex'' on ya matress//
^^^terrible closer? wot is it with the oral sex? its playd b, AND u mentioned it already



Your rhymes are whack and played, the Charge of the fag parade,
Your craps displayed, the facts are straight, you lack the weight
^^^simple, flow was nice tho.
Sex offenders social event - at your girls house, that dont imply consent
Cheap battle cos I reverse Charge, so I'm reimbursed by and large
^^^poor bar, waste of a bar
Your political views are fucking silly, voting Hilly solely cos shes sucking willy*
Or do we vote Obama whos black-but-duller? Will his policies change cos he lacks-the-colour?
^^^haha structure was fukd but was funny still.

Fail to admit-you'll get scarred, Snales' pet pit-bull(Harsh*) set the bar
I could be energy starved, in many ways parched and still wouldn't need a Charge
^^^decent closer



basically im counting this as a 3bar vs 3 bar battle...the rest of the bars were wasted, and i broke it down for u HNI so u knw how u shud layout ur bars.

HNI ur best 3 bars were ok, multis were a bit simple and there were unnecessary words put in places they wernt needed to be. i can see u got good ideas its just pullin em off thats hard. u shud try using more complex multis and adding some wordplay or personals in there, it helps with the punches. on top of that dont waste the first line just to get to the punch, use the first line to DISS aswell and setup for the final BLOW.

JOKER u just need to add general complexity to ur verse, flow n structure is fine. with a few multis in there and sum wordplay ull be set fam.

both keep elevating



VOTE: JOKER
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