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Old 08-15-2007, 09:05 PM   #1
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PayRoll vs. The Remnant

Aight 4 bars...
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Reg. Voting
---------

Check...

Gettin Links Now

http://www.rapworlds.com/forums/show...=103631&page=2
http://www.rapworlds.com/forums/show...=100993&page=3

there ya go^^
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Last edited by PayRoll; 08-15-2007 at 09:08 PM.
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Old 08-15-2007, 09:52 PM   #2
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Re: PayRoll vs. The Remnant

http://www.rapworlds.com/forums/showthread.php?t=103259
http://www.rapworlds.com/forums/showthread.php?t=103631

Last edited by Archaic; 08-15-2007 at 09:58 PM.
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Old 08-15-2007, 10:32 PM   #3
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Re: PayRoll vs. The Remnant

aight this a quick 4....
---------

Im'a lay another Gem!...Just give Pay another Win
cause like the "dunk contest contestants", I stay "above The Rem/rim"/

And you Acting tough, But ya Not!...Ive had enough of your drops
so my 'bars around you like prisons'...N Like 'ur Avatar', You "stuck in the box"/

Everybody kno I spit fresher, So you should go get a stretcher
cause when im done...ill drop ur "winning percentage" 'below' the "number next 2 ur record"/

Look! My win is getting near, And so im ending wit it here
cause even u kno u 'aint nice!'Thats y u aint battled...since the "beginning of the year"/
http://www.rapworlds.com/forums/showthread.php?t=88550

-------------
aight i dont even care...thats a quick drop 4 u...get ur verse up
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Old 08-15-2007, 11:39 PM   #4
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Re: PayRoll vs. The Remnant

This kids a DEAD FUCK , cause he about to GET LAID IN A COFFIN
You got OLD TESTAMENT verses they aint a PAULING

I'm trying to teach u a lesson , so why the fuck you doozing
I CLAP at you like a hundred BOOKS CLOSING
PAYROLL? Aint nothing to see in your bank account like NICOLE RICHIE NAKED POSING

TOYING with me is bad for your health like I was made in CHINA
Cause your personals couldn't PROVE A POINT even if you had 300 SPARTANS behind ya

Your new to the GREEN like RAY ALLEN and GARNETT cause even if OBAMA BINLADEN wrote your album it wouldn't have a BOMB yet

whatever..
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Old 08-16-2007, 12:27 AM   #5
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Re: PayRoll vs. The Remnant

Payroll

Im'a lay another Gem!...Just give Pay another Win
cause like the "dunk contest contestants", I stay "above The Rem/rim"/
1.75 damn nice name flip+dope wordplay

And you Acting tough, But ya Not!...Ive had enough of your drops
so my 'bars around you like prisons'...N Like 'ur Avatar', You "stuck in the box"/
.5 okay

Everybody kno I spit fresher, So you should go get a stretcher
cause when im done...ill drop ur "winning percentage" 'below' the "number next 2 ur record"/
.25 decent

Look! My win is getting near, And so im ending wit it here
cause even u kno u 'aint nice!'Thats y u aint battled...since the "beginning of the year"/
.25 decent again

Overall 2.75/8
basically u had 1 really good bar, then u had 3 okay/bad bars


remnant

This kids a DEAD FUCK , cause he about to GET LAID IN A COFFIN
You got OLD TESTAMENT verses they aint a PAULING
1.5 nice

I'm trying to teach u a lesson , so why the fuck you doozing
I CLAP at you like a hundred BOOKS CLOSING
PAYROLL? Aint nothing to see in your bank account like NICOLE RICHIE NAKED POSING
.75 okay

TOYING with me is bad for your health like I was made in CHINA
Cause your personals couldn't PROVE A POINT even if you had 300 SPARTANS behind ya
1 nice 2nd line

Your new to the GREEN like RAY ALLEN and GARNETT cause even if OBAMA BINLADEN wrote your album it wouldn't have a BOMB yet
1.5 nice

Overall 4.75/8
good drop, u had 2 real good bars, then u had 2 good bars, u had some ill wordplay at times, n yea

both of u had good drops, but I have to give this battle to remnant, good battle!

v/remnant
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Old 08-17-2007, 12:24 AM   #6
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Re: PayRoll vs. The Remnant

Im'a lay another Gem!...Just give Pay another Win
cause like the "dunk contest contestants", I stay "above The Rem/rim"/
^decent.

And you Acting tough, But ya Not!...Ive had enough of your drops
so my 'bars around you like prisons'...N Like 'ur Avatar', You "stuck in the box"/
^hmm...this was kinda weak, cuz the set up was one idea..and the punch was another idea that didn't quite relate.

Everybody kno I spit fresher, So you should go get a stretcher
cause when im done...ill drop ur "winning percentage" 'below' the "number next 2 ur record"/
^this was harsh, pretty nice.

Look! My win is getting near, And so im ending wit it here
cause even u kno u 'aint nice!'Thats y u aint battled...since the "beginning of the year"/
^ok personal.. i wish it was done a little more creatively but it's good.

V.S.

This kids a DEAD FUCK , cause he about to GET LAID IN A COFFIN
You got OLD TESTAMENT verses they aint a PAULING
^apauling's been used here before. this is somewhat recycled...be careful

I'm trying to teach u a lesson , so why the fuck you doozing
I CLAP at you like a hundred BOOKS CLOSING
PAYROLL? Aint nothing to see in your bank account like NICOLE RICHIE NAKED POSING
^the flow on this is messed up, clapping/books is good imagery...nicole richie line is generic, it's weaker when someone's dissing you with nameplays and personals.

TOYING with me is bad for your health like I was made in CHINA
Cause your personals couldn't PROVE A POINT even if you had 300 SPARTANS behind ya
^i didn't like the toying/China part..300 spartans was meh.

Your new to the GREEN like RAY ALLEN and GARNETT cause even if OBAMA BINLADEN wrote your album it wouldn't have a BOMB yet
^osama lines?=no...ok filler line, but punch is dry.

Remnant had good imagery, but as far as punches they weren't organized well enuff and the execution on a few were horrible. What makes a good punch is the build up to that energetic release..but Rem you had fillers that were off subject or random thoughts. PayRoll, your getting much better i see. Ain't too much i can say to you but to just keep keystyling and now that you're using multis, learn how to keep rhythm with it and try not break 'em up.
Not a blowout (cuz Rem used some played metaphors, and Pay lacked a bit there), but i'd still say Pay won cuz his overall punches were stronger.

Vote=Pay
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Old 08-20-2007, 03:35 PM   #7
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Re: PayRoll vs. The Remnant

1-1 Uppin

Moving now.. clearing freeposts..
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Old 08-23-2007, 02:43 PM   #8
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Re: PayRoll vs. The Remnant

Punches: Niether, Rem's were wack/played/corny and Pay's didn't really work: Rem doesn't sound like Rim, and its a throne that the avatar resembles not a box
Personals: Pay even though they were a bit ehh
Wordplay: Niether, Rem attempted but it was played
Metas: Niether, nothing flashed out
Multies: ?? why is this here
Structure: ?? Niether
Creativity: Pay for attempting to combine punches and personals
Consistency: Pay....Rem's was consistently corny
Vote: Pay

Notes/Summary: Like i said before...neither one really had a verse that wow'd me...but in the end Pay edged it
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Old 08-23-2007, 02:49 PM   #9
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Re: PayRoll vs. The Remnant

thx 4 the vote...couple things tho...he change his avatar since our battle, n im not sure how rem n rim dont sound the same but ok i guess

i think thats 2-1 me...unless Rem dont wanna accept

*Reps* for voting
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Old 08-23-2007, 11:39 PM   #10
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Re: PayRoll vs. The Remnant

Im'a lay another Gem!...Just give Pay another Win
cause like the "dunk contest contestants", I stay "above The Rem/rim"/
^This was a strong opener,and nice wordplay.Real wordplay,not that text equivalent.The second bar was slightly stretched,but could still be on beat.

And you Acting tough, But ya Not!...Ive had enough of your drops
so my 'bars around you like prisons'...N Like 'ur Avatar', You "stuck in the box"/
The punch was featured in the second bar,and it wasn't as powerful as it could be.I have seen plenty of bars/prisons metaphors...easily since 2000.Hell,I used them in the 90's,lol.The avatar punch was decent,and unlike many people here,I see the DOUBLE meta and meaning here.You lay alot of metas down.That's good.But you're sacrificing flow here.

Everybody kno I spit fresher, So you should go get a stretcher
cause when im done...ill drop ur "winning percentage" 'below' the "number next 2 ur record"/
This is a purely acapella street cypher punch,as the setup is average,but the punch is pretty strong...all things considered.

Look! My win is getting near, And so im ending wit it here
cause even u kno u 'aint nice!'Thats y u aint battled...since the "beginning of the year"/
The closer was the opposite of the opener...you closed pretty weak,you opened with a high note.

V.S.

This kids a DEAD FUCK , cause he about to GET LAID IN A COFFIN
You got OLD TESTAMENT verses they aint a PAULING
^The first bar was funny...DEAD FUCK/LAID IN A COFFIN,nice wordplay and meta. The second bar wasn't nearly as effective,because I clearly get the 'appalling" concept,but you mentioned PAUL the DISCIPLE,so you should have merged the two in the punch featuring "appalling." This is a textcee punch based on textcee wordplay.What's worse is that the Old Testament featured the premier prophet not named Jesus...ST.JOHN THE BAPTIST.So you actually could've been giving your opponent MAJOR PROPS and ACCIDENTALLY CLOWNING YOURSELF by an accidental exposure of lack of knowledge of your OWN PUNCH.

I'm trying to teach u a lesson , so why the fuck you doozing
I CLAP at you like a hundred BOOKS CLOSING
PAYROLL? Aint nothing to see in your bank account like NICOLE RICHIE NAKED POSING
^the spelling on "dozing" threw me off for a second,the CLAP/BOOKS CLOSING was nice,but the NICOLE RICHIE thing not only threw the flow off but it threw off the count of your bars too.You had 3 bars rhyming the "ozing" sound without rounding it to a fourth bar.Not good.It countered the nice CLAP/BOOKS CLOSING punch.

TOYING with me is bad for your health like I was made in CHINA
Cause your personals couldn't PROVE A POINT even if you had 300 SPARTANS behind ya
^unlike alot of people,I remember the infant and child deaths caused by toys made in China,so I liked that punch,but your second bar was stretched again and the linking of PROVE A POINT/300 SPARTANS was weak.you should've used "SPEARS" or something edged instead of "prove a point".

Your new to the GREEN like RAY ALLEN and GARNETT cause even if OBAMA BINLADEN wrote your album it wouldn't have a BOMB yet
^ The "new to green" thing WASN'T filler,like some others might have said,but the OBAMA punch was HORRIBLE...because OBAMA is BARACK OBAMA,the African-American running for the Democratic presidential nomination,and OSAMA...OSAMA...OSAMA BIN LADEN is the terrorist.Not only is this a played punch,but it's a FAILED PUNCH based on SCREWING UP A PLAYED PUNCH.

Each lyricist has lapses in concentration.PAYROLL didn't pay much heed to his setup bars,and focused only on his punchline.That means that he literally had half of his verse weaker than it should be.Not only did Rem do the same thing,but he made his mistakes even more egregious by lapses in knowledge in the areas of the punches that he threw.PAUL/ST. JOHN...OSAMA/OBAMA,the broken flow.These things detracted from the verse he wrote,because he had a good punch in there with the CLAP/CLOSED BOOKS thing,and he shows that he could have put in more should he focused more.Same with PAYROLL...his more consistent flow and more erudite links between his setups and punches were all indicators that he could bring alot more fire than he did.

Both did a good job,but my vote goes to:

Vote=Pay
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