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#1 |
The Original... ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: KC, MO
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Peter Griffin vs Kay B (Topical)
15-20 bars (30-40 lines)
due sunday at midnight EST no hate or d/r votes First To 5 (4-1 Tko...3-0 Ko) Tie Votes Will Result In 1-1 For Each Participant. Voting Catagories Are As Follows: On Topic Depth Imagery Originality Flow Multis Vocab Enjoyment Hook/dialogue (if Applicable To Both) Topic: Truth's Punishment |
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#2 |
Home Dogg ![]() ![]() ![]() Join Date: Dec 2007
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Re: Peter Griffin vs Kay B (Topical)
Check....g'dluck
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#3 |
The Original... ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: KC, MO
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Re: Peter Griffin vs Kay B (Topical)
yup..
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#4 |
Home Dogg ![]() ![]() ![]() Join Date: Dec 2007
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Re: Peter Griffin vs Kay B (Topical)
"Some say that a lie kills, yet sometimes the truth alone is punishment" ...Insight... Situations where truths never spread, it's no surprise that we ask President bush for the REAL reason, our solders died in iraq Countless attempts at expressing wishes, that the silence is broken But no reply is given, it's clear only the violence has spoken Truth becomes Punishment, never wanna put em down Like when ya twenty stone girl, questions if she's lookin' round Debates whether she's covering up the camel toe in new spedo's Aint gun say shit, you aint gettin another girl you NEED those! Why's daddy leaving us, why's that man got a shovel as he uses dirt The conclusions clear, an old urban legend that the truth'll hurt... ...My story... For years iv searched for the truth, for the reasons you left But for years i was lied, truth was hidden i believed your the best Deceived like the rest, mother didn't wana hurt a child But the difference between past events and todays versions wild Up until the age of fifteen i believe you'd walked for the best of us Never discovered the truth till i witnessed scars on her chest from cuts Questioned how they was made, i forced a reply Explained she was showered with boiling water...didn't want a daughter thats why ... You found out she was pregnant and tried to force the abortion Than the truth was revealed, you didn't walk you was pushed And that you swing fists so hard...everytime you'd talk she would shush The 'perfect' father id once believed i had was only a vision The feelings for you i once had vanished, i was lonely n missing Hard to accept you wasn't a man despite the cheers Still tryna fight my fears, which on my pillows id write in tears 24 Each drop spelling out the words "revenge is the key" fight back I learnt you'd steal my baby food money, to feed habits n buy crack Why that? I search from answers but you never write back So now ill bite back, take this dynamite of emotions and ignite that Though i put the facts of what you done strangely to use I now forever live in fear ill turn out the same, thanks to the truth ...Always thought i wanted to know...truth's punishment.. |
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#5 |
The Original... ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: KC, MO
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Re: Peter Griffin vs Kay B (Topical)
Key up...
Nothing much to say except your clutch will pay Dividends in the end like butt sex with gays Touch my face; let the fluids flow as we enhance the spot Arthur will never love you as much as I do; Lancelot Horses prance n trot someone is our near hiding space How did they find this place, leaving vigorously should be your riding pace I pride my face and bodily looks for you Gwenavear When ya hear the cue dash off like hunters chasin hen n deer Then appeared Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table We were caught but try as I might to sound stable He cut me off quicker than if my head was in a guillotine She spilled the beans; Arthur knew all along she’s still a queen To him, I tried to build a team but I couldn’t handle this dynasty Now how can this Brook survive minus streams? My eyes’ beams turn into a glimmering darkness Shimmering marks split as armor flies like splintering bark tips Winter embarks this; your deaths remain stored on this forests frozen floor This whore has chosen more Dick Downs then children choosing stories galore* I’m feeling gory n bored, time to round off your table to the lowest number I molest lumber with my sword as shields shatter attacking the slowest encumberesd … With 10 knights down its just Arthur n I with Gwenny watching Men be coughing as we trudge through their blood many were sloshing In agony beggin me not to kill Arthur, One gets up sayin “I’m goin for the heart sir” I made my start first, like a running back I busted a ‘Vear’ n let his sword part her I <3 her like text messages to significant others, but we don’t have phones So really that shits just irrelevant like Arthurs moans as I snap bones The facts hone in the attacks broke skin but he stopped making noise Like dead batteries while kids shaking toys, he’s faking poise But he’s not gonna fool me, As I lower my sword I could sense a cry But I couldn’t follow through, my muscles became more tense than Pi Feeling dense as I forgot my objective in all this massacre of men My gwenny, I took a pass at her then that’s when I became a passenger n I became trapped by another driver, “Are you ok, are you alive sir” That’s the voice I heard as I stood froze while all this transpired This mans tired, now I feel nausea with twirlin, whats the cause of this hurlin? With a pause of resurgence energy flowed n I was disintegrated by a hearless named Merlin… Lancelot died that day, facing Truth’s Punishment… moral of the story, you mess with a mans bitch you gonna get fucked up *Dick Downs is a famous children’s book illustrator |
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#6 |
The Original... ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: KC, MO
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Re: Peter Griffin vs Kay B (Topical)
get 2 links
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#7 |
Banned ![]() ![]() ![]() Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: East coast
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Re: Peter Griffin vs Kay B (Topical)
imagery-gen
metas-Both Creativity-Gen, his story was out of the ordinary again Complexity-Gen, he went a little more in depth and thought outside the box vocab-tied, nothing too crazy Vote-Gen |
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#8 |
5 Star Wave General ![]() ![]() Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: austin, texas. welcome to glockland, nigga.
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Re: Peter Griffin vs Kay B (Topical)
On Topic-both
Depth-gen Imagery-tie Originality-gen Flow-kay Multis-tie Vocab-gen Enjoyment-gen Hook/dialogue (if Applicable To Both)-n/a overall- papa ho, i mean genesis
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#9 | |
Legion Of Doom ![]() ![]() ![]() Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Minneapolis
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Re: Peter Griffin vs Kay B (Topical)
On Topic-tie
Depth-gen Imagery-gen Originality-gen - liked the angle Flow - gen Multis - gen Vocab - gen - molest lumber bar got it Enjoyment - gen, yours was interesting tho K - could gone more in depth n upped the ante vote-gen solid battle
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#10 |
Home Dogg ![]() ![]() ![]() Join Date: Dec 2007
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Re: Peter Griffin vs Kay B (Topical)
Votes on here don't needa be explained?....No bitchin just wondering? If not than cool thanks for voting
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