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Old 12-07-2007, 09:20 PM   #1
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Peter Griffin vs Kay B (Topical)

15-20 bars (30-40 lines)
due sunday at midnight EST
no hate or d/r votes
First To 5 (4-1 Tko...3-0 Ko)
Tie Votes Will Result In 1-1 For Each Participant.

Voting Catagories Are As Follows:
On Topic
Depth
Imagery
Originality
Flow
Multis
Vocab
Enjoyment
Hook/dialogue (if Applicable To Both)

Topic: Truth's Punishment
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Old 12-08-2007, 10:35 AM   #2
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Re: Peter Griffin vs Kay B (Topical)

Check....g'dluck
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Old 12-08-2007, 11:36 AM   #3
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Re: Peter Griffin vs Kay B (Topical)

yup..
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Old 12-09-2007, 04:42 PM   #4
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Re: Peter Griffin vs Kay B (Topical)

"Some say that a lie kills, yet sometimes the truth alone is punishment"

...Insight...

Situations where truths never spread, it's no surprise that we ask
President bush for the REAL reason, our solders died in iraq
Countless attempts at expressing wishes, that the silence is broken
But no reply is given, it's clear only the violence has spoken
Truth becomes Punishment, never wanna put em down
Like when ya twenty stone girl, questions if she's lookin' round
Debates whether she's covering up the camel toe in new spedo's
Aint gun say shit, you aint gettin another girl you NEED those!
Why's daddy leaving us, why's that man got a shovel as he uses dirt
The conclusions clear, an old urban legend that the truth'll hurt...

...My story...

For years iv searched for the truth, for the reasons you left
But for years i was lied, truth was hidden i believed your the best
Deceived like the rest, mother didn't wana hurt a child
But the difference between past events and todays versions wild
Up until the age of fifteen i believe you'd walked for the best of us
Never discovered the truth till i witnessed scars on her chest from cuts
Questioned how they was made, i forced a reply
Explained she was showered with boiling water...didn't want a daughter thats why
...
You found out she was pregnant and tried to force the abortion

Than the truth was revealed, you didn't walk you was pushed
And that you swing fists so hard...everytime you'd talk she would shush
The 'perfect' father id once believed i had was only a vision
The feelings for you i once had vanished, i was lonely n missing
Hard to accept you wasn't a man despite the cheers
Still tryna fight my fears, which on my pillows id write in tears 24
Each drop spelling out the words "revenge is the key" fight back
I learnt you'd steal my baby food money, to feed habits n buy crack
Why that? I search from answers but you never write back
So now ill bite back, take this dynamite of emotions and ignite that
Though i put the facts of what you done strangely to use
I now forever live in fear ill turn out the same, thanks to the truth

...Always thought i wanted to know...truth's punishment..
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Old 12-09-2007, 08:36 PM   #5
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Re: Peter Griffin vs Kay B (Topical)

Key up...

Nothing much to say except your clutch will pay
Dividends in the end like butt sex with gays
Touch my face; let the fluids flow as we enhance the spot
Arthur will never love you as much as I do; Lancelot
Horses prance n trot someone is our near hiding space
How did they find this place, leaving vigorously should be your riding pace
I pride my face and bodily looks for you Gwenavear
When ya hear the cue dash off like hunters chasin hen n deer
Then appeared Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table
We were caught but try as I might to sound stable
He cut me off quicker than if my head was in a guillotine
She spilled the beans; Arthur knew all along she’s still a queen
To him, I tried to build a team but I couldn’t handle this dynasty
Now how can this Brook survive minus streams?
My eyes’ beams turn into a glimmering darkness
Shimmering marks split as armor flies like splintering bark tips
Winter embarks this; your deaths remain stored on this forests frozen floor
This whore has chosen more Dick Downs then children choosing stories galore*
I’m feeling gory n bored, time to round off your table to the lowest number
I molest lumber with my sword as shields shatter attacking the slowest encumberesd

With 10 knights down its just Arthur n I with Gwenny watching
Men be coughing as we trudge through their blood many were sloshing
In agony beggin me not to kill Arthur, One gets up sayin “I’m goin for the heart sir”
I made my start first, like a running back I busted a ‘Vear’ n let his sword part her
I <3 her like text messages to significant others, but we don’t have phones
So really that shits just irrelevant like Arthurs moans as I snap bones
The facts hone in the attacks broke skin but he stopped making noise
Like dead batteries while kids shaking toys, he’s faking poise
But he’s not gonna fool me, As I lower my sword I could sense a cry
But I couldn’t follow through, my muscles became more tense than Pi
Feeling dense as I forgot my objective in all this massacre of men
My gwenny, I took a pass at her then that’s when I became a passenger n
I became trapped by another driver, “Are you ok, are you alive sir”
That’s the voice I heard as I stood froze while all this transpired
This mans tired, now I feel nausea with twirlin, whats the cause of this hurlin?
With a pause of resurgence energy flowed n I was disintegrated by a hearless named Merlin…

Lancelot died that day, facing Truth’s Punishment… moral of the story, you mess with a mans bitch you gonna get fucked up


*Dick Downs is a famous children’s book illustrator
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Old 12-09-2007, 08:41 PM   #6
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Re: Peter Griffin vs Kay B (Topical)

get 2 links
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Old 12-09-2007, 08:50 PM   #7
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Re: Peter Griffin vs Kay B (Topical)

imagery-gen
metas-Both
Creativity-Gen, his story was out of the ordinary again
Complexity-Gen, he went a little more in depth and thought outside the box
vocab-tied, nothing too crazy

Vote-Gen
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Old 12-10-2007, 01:43 AM   #8
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Re: Peter Griffin vs Kay B (Topical)

On Topic-both
Depth-gen
Imagery-tie
Originality-gen
Flow-kay
Multis-tie
Vocab-gen
Enjoyment-gen
Hook/dialogue (if Applicable To Both)-n/a

overall- papa ho, i mean genesis
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Old 12-10-2007, 01:44 AM   #9
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Re: Peter Griffin vs Kay B (Topical)

On Topic-tie
Depth-gen
Imagery-gen
Originality-gen - liked the angle
Flow - gen
Multis - gen
Vocab - gen - molest lumber bar got it
Enjoyment - gen, yours was interesting tho K - could gone more in depth n upped the ante


vote-gen

solid battle


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Old 12-10-2007, 10:48 AM   #10
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Re: Peter Griffin vs Kay B (Topical)

Votes on here don't needa be explained?....No bitchin just wondering? If not than cool thanks for voting
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