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Old 12-14-2007, 06:30 PM   #1
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kol vs kay b

11 bars
22 lines

topic- sucide

due tonight as agreed allowance may be made.....

checkerz B
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Old 12-14-2007, 06:50 PM   #2
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Re: kol vs kay b

Check....could'a chose a more origonal topic lol...Ima try drop tonight
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Old 12-14-2007, 06:53 PM   #3
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Re: kol vs kay b

wat ever
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Old 12-14-2007, 07:20 PM   #4
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Re: kol vs kay b

you picked a topic then ..
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Old 12-14-2007, 07:33 PM   #5
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Re: kol vs kay b

Nah....we'll do this one
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Old 12-14-2007, 08:05 PM   #6
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Re: kol vs kay b

Key'd up..

Ever considered entering the mind of teens bearing a blade?
See only one way out, cause they feel weak when sharing there pain
Awaking in puddles of sweat, or drowned in tears
'Cause of countless nightmares that have been around for years
Smile's drowned by jears, before during and after school
Realizing your the center of attention...for there laughter fool
Walking home alone, kicking piles of autumn leaves
Coming home to parents, that 'cause your distraught, there pleased
Searching for the voice within, to explain an escape
But all they ever repeated, was to explain that you scrape
Across veins, "Your diffrent kay, your not like the rest"
"You need to face it, accept you process no heart inside ya chest"
Alone in a dark room, you slice ya wrist blood drippin slow
Lay there bleeding to death, wondering if your mum in the kitchen knows?
What's going on in the room above her head?
Would she find and save her dyeing son, or show no love instead?
Unlucky for you they show no love and you lose breath
...But than you wake up, "am i ready for suicide, can i choose yet?"
Dreaming up your own demise
Realize its a once in a lifetime thing, you can't be lonely twice
.....
Down and depressed no fuel to drive
Lucky for you, this was only a thought.... and you'll survive


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Old 12-15-2007, 03:50 PM   #7
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Re: kol vs kay b

drop tomoz somthing important came up sorri man
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Old 12-15-2007, 07:46 PM   #8
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Re: kol vs kay b

pain linked to drink brain dead no cell's to think pushed behond the brink...
reach for a knife the blood drips into the kitchen sink.
idoly watching the terror sink in sat thinking of a better time no shame no need to hide now your on a hell bound rollcoaster ride....
tear's roll on by ,lung's empty with helpless shy's denied the dignity to at least die..
knowning some one will be your saviour be right by your side telling sweet mistold lie's an so on the ride roll's like the setting sea tide's uncontrolled by peaple..
dream's of a day when i can lead my life forced to live behind shadow's an lie's they sit an watch knowing there crimes unconvicted to sequlize.
like bad horror movies but the victim here doesnt survive...

empty cries echo as my heart stop's i feel my veins empty as my body struggles like "writter's block".....
my soul lost a miscast to society no more as my body lie cold i deal with deathh my soul "sold"

anthour horror storie told

Last edited by SQUIRREL..; 12-15-2007 at 07:48 PM.
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Old 12-16-2007, 03:06 AM   #9
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Re: kol vs kay b

Fuck Firefox. I just wrote a huge bar-by-bar review and Firefox...crashed. 45 minutes down the fucking toilet... Damn internetz.


Anyways, Kay won in my analysis because he has more detail, although he could stand to elevate as well, vocab-wise and multi-wise.


Kol's verse was... confusing. A lot of parts I didn't get at all. Clarity is of the upmost importance when you're doing any type of battle, and in some ways its more important in a topical as the point is to see who can articulate themselves better... a big subdivision of articulation is clarity.


So while Kays verse was nothing special, it still beat out Kol's by a sizeable margin.

Take it or leave it. And Kol, don't blame dick-riding; I'm not in his crew or anything else. I don't know him at all.
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Old 12-16-2007, 05:19 AM   #10
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Re: kol vs kay b

Both of you provide links, or this thread will be closed until so..

Thanks, peace...
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